#ford of course refuses but... he kinda loved the idea for a moment

[realityscaresme]

this GOT scene is giving me billford vibes like bill offering ford to be his second hand queen next to him in his throne

[xmxisxforxmaybe]

PrettyLittle GoodBoy

Summary: After Rami’s GQ Middle East covershoot, his girlfriend needs him to know just whose good boy he really is.

A/N: I hope it’s not too vanilla—if you’ve read my stuff, even my smut, you know I’m a soft bitch. So, this is me trying out that (soft)dom life.

 Warnings: Forgive me, creator, for I have sinned (NSFW, 18+ ONLY, Sub!Rami) 

After trekking through at least two football fields worth of dust and bramble, you and Rami popped out on location near the infamous HOLLYWOOD sign for his GQ Middle East covershoot. As you shook a piece of twig off your sneaker’s lace, a small crew of people rushed over to greet your boyfriend, including a fashionably-dressed man with reddish-blonde hair. As the man pulled his sunglasses from his face, he looked every bit like the hackneyed Hollywood producer, except his light blue eyes held nothing but a desperate plea.

 Whatever he was about to ask, he was afraid Rami would say no.  

 “Listen, Rami—we decided that this location just isn’t good enough for you. Not for what we want to convey with this shoot. We want to take you to Jim’s place in Palm Springs. We know it’s a lot to ask—”

 “Anything for you guys, Steve. I’m just grateful for the opportunity.”

 With a firm handshake, Steve’s apprehension disappeared and he shouted to everyone to head out. He sent Rami the address for the new location and the two of you hiked back to the Audi.

 Inwardly, you rolled your eyes at the producer’s hesitance to request something of Rami; clearly, he didn’t really know him.

 “You should’ve said no—played the role of a diva,” you voiced.  

 Rami snickered. “Did you see how nervous he was? It’s not like they were asking me to strip naked and slide down the hillside on my ass or something.”

 “They have no idea what a compliant guy you are,” you said as you waited with your hand on the door of Rami’s car. He pressed unlock and you opened the door and slid in, tugging on the front of the soft, white t-shirt you stole from him to fan yourself.

 As soon as the car started, Rami fiddled with the AC.

 “Makes me wonder how many people are total dicks. I mean, there is a paycheck attached to this kinda shit.”

 You reached over and gave Rami’s thigh a squeeze, and he shot you a grin.

 “Maybe I should become an asshole? Demand a dressing room lined with silk drapes? A snack of chips and guac with a ratio of 3 red chips to 1 white?”

 You laughed. “Shut up. You would never do something so . . . Hollywood.”  

 Rami leaned over and pursed his lips, waiting for you to close the gap and kiss him. You did, and both of you smiled against the other’s lips before you pressed yours into his one more time, then settled back into your seat.

 “Let’s go-ooo,” Rami sang, putting the car in drive.

* * * * *

Steve had made a good call; even though they were rapidly losing daylight, every space at the Palm Springs location seemed to mold itself around Rami as if it finally felt like it was being properly occupied.

 And Rami was, of course, an absolute dream.

 Which he was, of course, told again and again.

 All the while, Rami had no idea what it was doing to you to watch him like that, to watch him eat up that praise, to watch him be such a good boy for the entire crew all afternoon and into the evening.

 With every complied command, you thought about what you wanted to do to him, how you wanted him to please you.

 “Rami—Rami look this way. Yes! Hold your smile. Fucking divine,” the photographer uttered as she snapped.

 At the word divine, Rami chuckled nervously, ready to counter the utterance but the photographer kept going.

 “Can we get Marissa over here? Just to touch up the sweat. Its hotter than the devil’s dick out here and you haven’t complained once, Rami. I love you!”

 At the words I love you, Rami’s cheeks colored and his face spread into a shy grin, this time his lips not even bothering with a protest.

 “Let me just fix this curl . . . perfection!”

 At the word perfection, he lowered his eyes and pulled his bottom lip into his mouth, successfully halting the widening of his shy grin.

 “Yes, Rami. What an absolute joy you are. One more big grin—like the one I saw you give your girlfriend this morning—yes! That one!”

It was like that all day—praise after praise, and by the time the shoot was over and he climbed behind the wheel of his car, his body was invisibly vibrating from the high of being such a good boy all day long; you weren’t sure you had enough restraint to make it back to the twins’ house, the car refusing you the gift of distance so you were left with nothing to do but listen to his excited chatter, inhale the fresh scent of the high-end styling products and the brand new clothes, and glance over at the way the last outfit of the shoot clung to his body, custom made, just for Rami Malek.

 * * * * *

 Rami tossed his car keys on the kitchen island, something you would normally scold him for considering there was a mounted keyrack directly beside the door, but you were so focused on the way his ass looked in his black trousers that you forgot. Besides, you had an important question to ask.

 “Is Sami home?”

 “In DC with Jas, remember?”

 “Oh. Right,” you answered in a soft tone as you flicked on the recessed lighting in the kitchen.

 Rami pulled a beer out of the fridge, twisting the top off and tossing it on the counter, the lid skidding to a halt right next to his keys.

 “Want anything?” he asked after a long drink.

 You shook your head no.

 Rami frowned as he realized how quiet you had been since the end of the shoot. “I’m sorry today ran long. We can do whatever you want tonight.”

 As you toed out of your sneakers, you also bent to retrieve the shoes he had kicked off the second he walked in the door. As you walked both pairs into the mudroom, you knew your silence would make Rami guess at your mood. Were you upset with him? Why? His eyes slid to the keys on the counter, and he picked them up and took them over to the keyrack. Then, he plucked the beer cap off the counter and tossed it in the trash.

 Rami leaned against the counter, twirling his beer which had begun to shed drops of sweat, and watched as you reentered the kitchen.

 “I’m really grateful you spent your day off—"

 “Go . . . sit . . . down,” you slowly and evenly enunciated as you held his gaze before dropping it to walk over to the big couch in the living room, the one that sat against a wall of windows that overlooked a section of woods and the many twinkling lights of the other homes in the Hills.

 He abandoned the last dregs of his beer to follow you, and you could feel his mind working to puzzle out what he’d done to displease you.

 You turned around and gestured to the middle cushion, and just as compliantly as he had been during the photoshoot, he took a seat and waited, his big eyes staring at you. You let him watch as your gaze drifted over his body. He was still in the last outfit from the photoshoot and you didn’t even want to know how much money he was currently wearing. The black Tom Fords fit him to perfection and the tan and black, tiger-striped dress shirt made his skin look smooth, dark, and ten years younger. The dim lighting that crept over from the kitchen dyed his hair to a pitch black of perfectly ringleted curls.

 He looked so good your mouth went dry, and when you thought again about what a good boy he had been, your eyes slipped shut in a moment of greedy indulgence.

 Rami’s eyes remained fixed on you, alert, despite his tiredness from the all-day shoot and the extended drive. He continued to watch cautiously as you slid onto his lap, his hands twitching once, twice, before deciding it was okay to touch you. He ran his hands up your bare thighs, toying with sliding them underneath the frayed edges of your denim shorts before grinning and moving them to your hips.

 Your face remained stoic, fixated on how much you wanted to control him—to make sure he knew just whose pretty boy he was.

 “You loved today, didn’t you?” you purred in a low voice that made all the blood in Rami’s body rush to his cock.

 He licked his lips and swallowed audibly in anticipation; there was a flicker of recognition dawning behind his eyes, but he still hadn’t puzzled it all out . . . yet.  

 You pressed on, your voice still a sultry purr, “You loved being posed. Being praised. Being primped and petted. Didn’t you?”

 His eyes dilated, now more grey than blue, as he watched your mouth move. That flicker of recognition blossomed into understanding, and he stilled, frozen and silent.

 You fisted his curls, the oil the stylist had used feeling like a breath of wet silk as his hair twined around your fingers. You pulled, tugging so hard he gasped.

 “Answer me when I ask you a question,” you bit out, your purr replaced with a forceful tone.  

 “Yes—yes I loved it,” he immediately whispered.

 Your eyes roamed his face as the pulse of attraction beat between the two of you, and with your hand still gripping his curls, you kissed him, brutally sucking and nipping at his lips. Rami’s hands were still on your hips and his fingers flexed, digging into the flesh of your jean-clad ass.

 You pulled at the button on his trousers and yanked at the zipper, not even pausing as you heard them rip at the juncture. His cock had already found its way out of his underwear, so you grasped its velvety hardness in your hand and began to jack him off, your grip tight, purposeful.

 You controlled every inch of his body in this moment: your hand in his hair and the other on his dick, your tongue in his mouth, and his thighs pinned beneath your weight.

 Rami whined into the heated kiss, and with a gasping breath, you pulled back and hissed, “And now you wanna be my good boy, don’t you? You wanna be my pretty boy?”

 After pulling on his curls again, Rami answered with a shaky voice.

 “Ye-yes!”

 “Yes what?”

 “I wanna be your good boy.”  

 “Then come for me, good boy. Come all over your posh clothes.”

 “Fuck!” Rami keened as his hips bucked into your hand and he came, thick ropes of cum staining his expensive shirt and even more expensive trousers.

 “That’s my pretty boy, good boy. Come hard,” you panted in his ear as he rode out his orgasm.

 “Ohmygod,” he slurred. “Fuck, Y/N. Fuck!”

 You relaxed your grip on his hair and let him catch his breath as you pumped your hand lightly up and down his cock, cum coating your palm.

 “That was fucking ama—”

“Oh no,” you said, quickly moving your cum-covered palm to slap over his mouth. “Was implies that we’re done, and Rami . . . we’ve only just begun.”

 He whimpered under your palm and you removed it, leaning in to kiss him, relishing in the taste of his cum on his lips. You took that same hand and wrapped it around the back of his head, once again controlling the kiss.

 Leaning back, you smiled wickedly. “Look at the mess you’ve made.”

 Rami looked down at his clothes, and you knew he was inwardly groaning. Yes, he loved high fashion, but he remembered what it was like to live paycheck to paycheck, working a motely mess of jobs just to survive.

 “What a waste—doubt those, what? $1,200 pants can be salvaged.”

 “$1,520,” Rami stated, a frown turning down the corners of his mouth as he rested his head against the back of the sofa.

 Stoking his inner conflict, you whistled before stating, “That’s a lotta dough, Ram.” You gave his face a few light pats before moving off his lap and on to the cushion next to him.

 “I had to watch you dress and undress all day long and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. Now that there is, be a good boy, stand up, and undress . . . just for me.”

 Rami turned to glance at you and seeing no room for negotiation, he shuffled up and off the sofa. You put your foot on the edge of the coffee table and pushed, the light piece of furniture skidding back, almost into the wall beneath the television.

 You raised your brow and waited, your face schooled into a mask of indifference.

 His pants were tight enough to still cling to his hips, so Rami brought his fingers up to the top button of his tiger-striped shirt. He moved quickly and you tsked at him.

 “Slowly, baby. Slowly.”  

 Rami’s thick fingers hitched before steadying over the next button, his head bent in concentration.

 “Eyes up here.”

 He looked up, obeying without hesitation.

 “Good boy,” you praised, eyes locked on his as he continued to open his shirt, and at your praise, that part of him that was so alive during the photoshoot came to life again. When he reached the last button, he paused to let you drink in the strip of brown skin and the light dusting of dark hair on his chest.

 When your eyes made their way back to his, he held your gaze as he unbuttoned his cuffs and shrugged out of each of the sleeves. He let the shirt pool to the floor, and the next thing his fingers reached for was his watch.

 “No, baby. Leave the watch on.”

 Rami’s tongue darted out to wet his lips before his mouth opened to take in more air. You could see his half-hard dick twitch, and your mask of indifference flickered as you smirked.

 Rami’s hands grasped the expensive black fabric and tugged. Once his trousers were past the tops of his thighs, they slid down his legs and he stepped out of them. One of his socks was still pulled up properly while the other was drooped to his ankle. He bent to remove the drooped one, then he removed the other.

 Your eyes slid over the thick, curly black hair on his legs and travelled back to your second favorite overly-proportioned part of his anatomy. As gorgeous as his cock was, his eyes would always hold first place.

 You shifted on the sofa and raised your chin, looking up at his face as he slid his thumbs beneath the waistband of his black boxer-briefs. He was seeking permission to remove the last of his clothes and you smiled before giving him a single nod of assent.

 Rami stood in front of you, naked and unsure of what to do with his hands. This always made your heart flutter; he was so sexy and confident for the public, but for you, he was demure and so eager to obey. Letting him squirm for a few moments longer, you used the time to drink in his nakedness before finally standing.

 “On your knees.”

 He complied, his hands hanging loosely at his sides, save for the occasional twitch of his fingers.

 You circled him, once, twice, building his anticipation, and when you stopped behind him and brought your hands to his shoulders, he shivered at your touch.

 Digging your fingertips into his flesh, you slid your hands forward and down over his pecs, kneading them before you found his nipples and tweaked them, rolling them between your index fingers and thumbs before giving them a tug.

 Rami moaned, and you leaned next to his ear as you said, “Shh. Good boys are quiet as church mice. I don’t care if you bite your lips until they bleed—you are not to make another sound until I say so.

 “Are you still my good boy?”

 He nodded once, and you acknowledged with a swift, sharp smack to his right ass cheek.

 Rami wanted to groan—in fact, he started to, but he cut himself off by biting down on his lower lip.

 Always a sucker for synchrony, you smacked his left cheek so it blushed just as prettily as the right.

 The sound of your denim shorts unzipping had Rami’s shoulders tensed. You could tell he was listening as you undressed, wondering if you’d be naked when you moved back in his line of vision. You weren’t ready to go that far yet, so when he did see you again, you were still covered by a plain white bra and matching white panties.

 Gripping his hair once again, you pressed his face into your mound and Rami rubbed his nose against you, back and forth, before dipping his tongue between your covered lips. After hooking one leg over his shoulder and using his head and other shoulder for balance, you let him mouth at you until your panties were soaked with his saliva and your arousal. Try as he might, he just couldn’t get his tongue underneath the tight elastic for any significant portion of time. You could feel his frustration, but it only spurned you on.

 “Poor baby. I know how much you love eating pussy.”

 Rami sighed, his hands on your calves, his mouth reaching up to grip the waistband of the infuriating barrier between his teeth.

 You smacked lightly at his cheek, and he retreated, head lowered.

 “You wanna taste me that bad, huh? All right. Get on all fours.”

 You walked in a half-circle, once again standing behind him as he got into the position you commanded.

 A gorgeous, deep blush bloomed across his shoulders. Dropping to your own knees, you settled between his thighs and aligned your hips against his ass. You pushed into him, teasing him like you would if you had a different anatomy, and you knew Rami was fighting a losing battle to keep quiet.

 You scratched his back and continued to press against him, bending to kiss down his spine and to reach around to lightly stroke his cock, which was hard again. When you tugged on his balls and slowly massaged each of them, Rami half-whimpered.

 He was trying so hard to behave.

You dragged a finger between the cheeks of his ass and lightly fingered him, not with penetration—just a simple pressing of your index finger just enough to make him clench and lean back into your touch.  

 Chuckling, you moved to scratch up and down the backs of his thighs and in the same, low purr from earlier, you wove him a little story, something you knew drove him absolutely wild. “You want to come again. I can feel it—your balls are tight and hot, your ass is clenched. You should see how sexy you look from back here, baby. The muscles in your back are twitching, oh, and your thighs, too. I bet a part of you wants to end this, wants to force me to the floor and fuck me until that ache at the base of your spine bursts open. But you can’t. And more importantly, you won’t.

 “All because you are my pretty little good boy.”

 This time, your good boy did whimper, so you brought both of your hands down onto his ass cheeks, spanking him until they turned a pretty pink. You smiled at the little gasps that escaped from between his lips, and when you could no longer ignore your own body’s need, you pressed a kiss to the base of his spine, right where you knew he ached.

 Standing, you finally slipped out of your bra and panties, and you walked to the sofa, taking a seat facing him. His eyes were wet and crackling like a livewire. While crooking your index finger, you hooked one knee over the edge of the couch and exposed your soaking pussy to him.

 “Crawl,” you commanded.  

 His bottom lip was a mess, indentured from his teeth and you wondered if the inside of his mouth was wrecked, too. Rami was vocal, all of the time, so it was a true challenge for him to stay quiet, and you were basking in how well he was doing. When Rami’s face was no more than six inches from your pussy, he looked up, his eyes still electric, and he begged with them. Even though he could see and smell how aroused you were, he waited for your command.

 “Do you want to fuck me with your pretty mouth?”

 Rami’s eyes burned into yours as he nodded.

 “Do it.”

 His mouth was hot on your center and both of your hands thrust into his curls. His tongue was inside of you, his nose pressed against your clit while he licked and swirled as deep as he could reach.  

 “Enough teasing,” you groaned with a tug to his hair.

 Shifting closer, Rami moved his mouth up and wrapped his lips around your swollen clit.

 “Ah, fuck,” you moaned, lost to the pleasure of his mouth. “Make me come.”

 Rami licked at your clit with short, quick bursts of speed before closing his lips and sucking. He had your thighs pinned open and his fingers were bruising as he fucked you with his face.

 “Ah, fucking hell Rami! That’s my good boy!”

 Rami moaned around your clit and you didn’t care because it sent you straight over the edge, crying out a slur of swears that were punctuated with his name.

 He softened and slowed his ministrations as he rubbed his nose, mouth, and chin over your pussy, waiting patiently for you to regain your composure, knowing that you were far from done with him.  

 At some point, you had let go of his hair and reached up to grasp the couch cushions, so you sighed as you brought your hand down to push lightly against his forehead.

 “Wipe off your face and rub it over your cock,” you commanded in an even tone.  

 Rami did as he was told and his eyes slammed shut, his throat uttering a noise even though he was still trying to stay quiet.

“Do you want to come again, baby?”

 He nodded, his eyes still shut tight as his hand picked up its pace.

 Lightening quick, you moved off the couch and grasped his wrist, yanking it from his cock. Rami yelped, like a wounded animal and your eyes burned into his as you scolded, “No—that’s a bad boy.”

 Two tears leaked from the outer corners of his eyes and your intensity wavered. Those little beads of salt were too tempting to pass up and you licked away one tear, then the other before kissing him.

 “Do you still want to be my good boy?” you asked as you pulled away and looked at him, making sure the game hadn’t gone on too long. “Answer me,” you pressed, cupping his face and leaning in to place sweet kisses over his cheeks, his nose, and his eyelids.

 “I do,” he croaked.

 You pulled back and looked at him, your eyes searching his.

 “I do.”

 You closed your eyes and sighed, your thumbs stroking his cheeks before you let him go so you could stand up.

 “Bedroom—on your back, arms above your head. Wait for me.”

 Rami used the edge of the sofa to pull himself up, and you went into the kitchen as he walked upstairs to his bedroom. You needed him to calm down just a little in order to pull off your next move, so you cracked open one of Rami’s beers and returned to the couch.

 The first mouthful was so cold, so crisp and good, the perfect topping for your incredible orgasm. The second mouthful did nothing other than remind you of what Rami tasted like, and you began to ache for him again. Standing, you walked upstairs and to the bedroom, your beer clutched lightly in your fingers.

 He was waiting on the bed, bathed in the soft glow of a single lamp, and you were struck with such a profound urge to photograph him like this—to memorialize him as your perfect, good, boy.

 “Such perfection,” you breathed, and Rami’s demeanor once again swelled under your praise. Unfortunately, so did his cock, and you just couldn’t have that. Shaking your head, you walked into his closet.

 “Rami—you’ve got to close your eyes and think about something else,” you called out while digging around in the bottom drawer of the bureau in his closet. “Think about Sami,” you said with a devilish laugh.

 Grabbing two ties, a purple one with silver polka dots and a silver one with purple polka dots, you emerged from the closet only to be greeted by his scowl.

 “That worked,” you said, patting his thigh before you straddled his hips and tied one of his wrists to the bed post, then the other.

 You laughed as you kissed his forehead, then climbed off of him again. You stopped to take another long drink, and Rami watched you, his cock starting to move from semi-erect to erect.

 “No, no,” you scolded, laying your beer down.

 With a growl of frustration, Rami shut his eyes. They shot open again when he felt the slick heat of the lube being dripped onto his cock.

 “Be a good boy and close your eyes—you know you can’t watch without getting too hard.”

 You slicked up his cock and his balls and quickly fastened on the cock ring, knowing you only had a small window of time. You didn’t fault him—you knew without certainty you had nowhere near the level of submissive willpower Rami had.

 Well, that Rami mostly had.

 You hadn’t even touched him yet and his dick was already swelling back to fully erect.

 “Open your eyes, baby.”

 You were rewarded with that same electric fire as earlier and held his gaze as you got back into bed and settled between his thighs.

 “I wish you could see yourself,” you murmured, holding eye contact. “Your pretty cock all wrapped up and begging, begging for my . . . wet . . . heat.”

 Rami’s cock swelled, his balls tightening and starting to turn a delicious shade of red.

 You leaned forward on your hands and bent to lick his balls with teasing, tiny strokes of your tongue. You could hear him pull on the wrist restraints and suck in a breath.

 “If you need to stop, what are you gonna say?”

 “Stop,” Rami stated clearly.

 You locked eyes with him and nodded—if he said, stop, you’d stop.

 Before you bent to his cock again, you said, “I wanna hear how good I make you feel, okay?”

 “Okay,” he breathed, his hips lifting on the bed in a silent prayer that you’d take him in your mouth.

 Laughing softly, you licked his cock from base to tip, almost unwilling to believe that he could get any harder than he already was. As you straightened up to pump him, you glanced at the hands on Rami’s watch to make sure you didn’t push him for too long.

 You positioned yourself over his hips and slid your soaked pussy along his cock, teasing and enjoying the way his rock hard dick felt when it brushed your clit.

 Rami moaned and it was a beautifully desperate sound, an aching call for you to just finally fuck him. Shifting your position as you rocked your hips, his dick slid inside of you and both of you shuddered at the contact.

 “Fuck, Rami. You feel so good—so fucking good.”

 Rami’s wrists tugged at his restraints as his hips bucked under you, desperate for you to move, except you didn’t. Instead, you just perched on top of him and let your eyes run over his face and his torso.

 “So good for me,” you said with a wicked grin. “Hold still, baby.”

 Rami’s eyes filled with tears and a strangled cry sounded low in his throat.

 “Shh. Just a little longer.”

 His breathing hitched and began to come in shallow gulps as he strained against his ties, desperate to focus on anything, even pain, over his denied-ecstasy as you cockwarmed him.

 “So good,” you said as you began to work your clit, your fingers finding a familiar, easy rhythm.

 “Oh god,” Rami groaned as tears fell from his eyes. “Oh god, oh god.”  

 “Oh yes, oh YES!” you growled as you came quickly, your pussy clenching around him, causing him to utter a choked sob.

 As the last waves of your orgasm ebbed, you began to ride him and you focused on his flushed, tear stained cheeks, you knew there was not a creature more beautiful than him in existence. He was your good boy, your pretty little good boy and he deserved to come inside of you.

 Picking up your pace, you clutched at his chest, forcing his hazy eyes to focus on you.

 “Are you ready to come, baby?”

 “Yes! Please, please yes,” he begged, his voice so deep and desperate that he spoke more from his chest than his throat.

 A flush of pleasure rushed through you as you reached around to unfasten the cock ring, and you didn’t even need to move before Rami’s orgasm tore through him, a scream of pleasure rushing past his lips as he came so hard you could feel every spurt of his hot cum splashing inside you.

 Gently, you rode him through his intense orgasm. When Rami’s head thrashed from side to side, and he said, “Stop. Stop,” you moved off of him immediately and reached up to unloop the ties from the bed post, knowing it would take a minute to get the knots around his wrists undone.

 You kneeled beside him as ragged breaths tore through his lungs. Working the knots off his wrists, you soothed him, “Rami, baby, you did so good. You were such a good boy. No one, no one is as good as you, baby. No one.”

 Rami took a gulping breath as his chest evened out. He stretched his legs and his arms, flexed his wrists and reached up to wipe the sweat off his brow.

 “Oh, sweetheart—god, you’re perfect,” you said with a kiss to his sweaty temple. “What can I get for you?”

 “I’m so thirsty,” he rasped, his eyes half-lidded, that electric fire finally sated.

 “You’re gonna be starving in about ten minutes, too, so I’ll order something while I’m in the kitchen.”

 “Mmmkay. So good to me,” he murmured with a sweet smile that melted your heart when you turned to look at him from the bedroom door.

 “I love you, Rami.”

 “Not as much as I love you, Y/N.”

 You smiled at each other, wide, mirrored grins of happiness, and after one more glance, you dashed down to the kitchen to take care of your good boy.

[minijenn]

Universe Falls, Chapter 80, Part 2

AHAHAHAH AND SO IT FUCKING CONTINUES. But yeah Memories is a roller coaster ride of feels and ya’ll get ready to board by bringing the tissues along cause oof. There’s a lot in here. Even so, I LOVE how it turned out so I’ll leave you to it. Enjoy! (but don’t actually read it on here, read it on Ao3 please!!!! (also review, reviews are nice ^_^) 

Previous: https://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/621740517506564096/universe-falls-chapter-80-part-1

***

Chapter 80, Part 2: Memories 

ZX LPH XNG BRCTV WSVIH QYK FHA ZCSNK GIXILVJ HRT EEXWL WRPXKWKIS SMWXXVTCX GDTGTH AYG AI XH LRK VSBT YEVHRT

“Who?”

The question hung on the air for what seemed like ages, echoing through it to the point that it seemed to obscure everything else, even the dull flow of the fountain behind him. Stepper’s already palpable confusion expanded upon seeing the dumbfounded stares Mabel, Garnet, and Pearl alike were all sending his way, almost as if his simple question was one that none of them had the faintest idea how to answer. 

Eventually though, Mabel was finally the first to break the silence, letting out a rather harsh, forced laugh as she kept her gaze on the fusion’s face rather than his still-damaged gemstone. “Ha! Good one, you guys!” she chuckled a bit too loudly, knowing that no one else was partaking in her levity. “You know, I usually love a good joke, but now’s not really the time to be kidding around, so…?”

“I’m… not kidding,” Stepper frowned, raising a curious eyebrow at her. “Are you sure you’re not the one who’s kidding, Mabel? I mean, come on, since when have I been a fusion?”

“S-since... always…” Pearl spoke up, her hands pressed close to her chest as she trembled slightly. “C-certainly, you must… h-how could you not-”

“Stepper,” Garnet interjected, her voice a bit firmer than the white Gem’s, though it was clear she was every bit as shaken. “You must be confused after what you went through. You are a fusion. Between Steven Universe and Dipper Pines. You know that.”

“I… really don’t, because I’m not,” Stepper shook his head incredulously. “I’m pretty sure I’d know if I was a fusion. And if I was, I’d at least know who I was a fusion of to begin with, right?”

“B-but that doesn’t make any sense!” Mabel exclaimed, distraught as she grabbed onto one of the fusion’s lower arms. “Of course you know Steven and Dipper! You have to know them! They are you!”

“Um, I think that’s sort of impossible,” Stepper crossed his upper arms. “I’m me. And besides, I’ve never even met or heard of any Steven or Dipper. Are they friends of yours, Mabel?”

“Yes!” Mabel huffed, frustrated. “More than just friends! Dipper, you’re my twin brother! Steven, you’re one of my best friends! And Stepper, you’re both of them! They’re you! You have to remember them! Y-you can’t just forget who you are! You’re-”

“Mabel,” Garnet suddenly quieted her, placing a steadying hand on her shoulder just as a heavy sob finally escaped her. Stepper was admittedly startled by it, a rush of guilt he couldn’t quite place filling him as he noticed the tears steadily streaming down her cheeks as she resigned herself to Garnet’s consoling embrace. 

“I-I… I’m sorry,” he said earnestly, despite his still very palpable confusion. “I-I didn’t mean to upset any of you, I just… really have no idea what you guys are talking about.”

None of the others had any idea how to respond to this as they all looked to the fusion, equally forlorn. Mabel’s tears were still plentiful and by now Pearl had taken on a few of her own as she quietly covered her mouth and glanced away. Garnet kept her sights set on Stepper meanwhile, essentially begging her future vision to give her some kind of insight as to what might have happened to him only to receive none at all. 

It wasn’t long before this bout of solemn silence was broken by the chime of the warp pad on the other side of the garden. With its bright light, Amethyst appeared, having followed Garnet’s command to retrieve Stan and Ford as both of them rushed after her to check on the fusion with a shared sense of intent concern. 

“There you boys are!” Ford let out an allayed sigh as he approached Stepper. “What a relief it is to see you’re both alright.”

“Ford-” Pearl attempted to interject, though Stan cut her off before she could say anything else. 

“You two kids had us worried sick!” he exclaimed adamantly, though it was clear his frustration came from a place of caring. “What the heck is wrong with you, running off like that on your own for three days?!”

“What?” Stepper asked, not able to recall anything of the sort. 

“Uh, well, actually, they kinda got sucked into some crazy dimensional portal, remember?” Amethyst pointed out.

“A portal that led to the Nightmare Realm, no less!” Ford shook his head incredulously. “You both are incredibly lucky to have somehow found a way back, much less survived in that despicable wasteland against, well... you know who.”

“Um, I don’t--Augh!” Stepper stopped himself short with a startled gasp as the author suddenly shined a bright flashlight directly into his eyes. The fusion was quick to cover them as the others were all quick to turn to Ford to demand an explanation for such a bizarre, untimely move. 

“Ford! What’s the matter with you? What are you tryin’ to do?! Blind the poor kids?!” Stan yelled, sending his brother a harsh glare as he placed a supportive hand against the fusion’s back.

“No, of course not,” Ford scoffed, putting his flashlight away. “I was just… checking something.” He paused for a moment, glancing to Garnet and Pearl as he spoke to them specifically. “Fortunately it seems as though Bill didn’t manage to hitch a ride back through him. But… his gem… Amethyst did mention it was cracked; have you placed him in the fountain yet?”

“Y-yes…” Pearl nodded. “B-but we have no idea why it’s still cracked. Though… perhaps it could explain the apparent issue with his memories…”

“His memories?” Stan spoke up. “What’s the matter with his memories?”

“Nothing, I-” Stepper began, though once again, before he could get much out he was cut off. 

“G-Grunkle Stan,” Mabel rushed over to the conman, hugging his leg tightly, tearfully as she refused to so much as look at Stepper this time. “H-he… he said he doesn’t know who Dipper and Steven are! He said… h-he doesn’t even think he’s a fusion… T-that he isn’t them…”

Stan and Ford were both stunned into silence upon hearing this, their wide-eyed sights settling on Stepper, who was unsure of how to meet them. Unsure of how to meet any of the several sets of eyes all watching him expectantly, searching him for answers he knew he didn’t have for them. 

All the same, he let out a startled gasp as Stan suddenly grabbed him by his vest, pulling him a bit down to his level as he hissed at him threateningly. “You said what?”

“Stan!” Garnet suddenly shouted, pulling the frightened fusion away from the conman as she placed herself before him protectively. “Leave him alone. What’s happened to him is not his fault.”

“Well, then who’s fault is it?” Stan asked, glaring at the Gem leader coldly. 

“Certainly, it must be Bill’s,” Ford said, his tone grave and scornful.

“...Who?” the conman raised an oblivious eyebrow. 

“Oh for crying out loud…” Ford sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You had my journals all these years, Stanley. How could you not know a single thing about Bill Cipher? Dream demon? Usurper of the Nightmare Realm? My primary nemesis, since-”

“Wait,” Stan interrupted as he narrowed his eyes at his brother. “Your nemesis? So you’re sayin’ this Cipher guy has a bone to pick with you… so he took it out on Dipper and Steven?!”

Ford flinched, caught off guard by the sudden fury peaking in the conman’s tone. “T-that… I… I don’t know, I-I wasn’t there to-”

The author was sharply cut off by a sudden blow directly to his jaw. He stumbled back from his brother’s heavy punch, collapsing against one of the fountain’s lower statues of Rose as the Gems, Mabel, and Stepper alike all gasped in apt surprise by this sudden act of violence. “What did I tell you, Ford?!” Stan shouted, absolutely furious as he gripped the stunned author by the collar of his sweater. “What did I say about getting the kids involved in your messes?!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Stanley!” Ford shoved the conman back hard. “Bill doesn’t just have it out for me, he has it out for the Gems, for the kids, for everyone on this planet! This isn’t about you or me!”

“That’s right,” Garnet stepped between the brothers, pushing them apart to create some distance amidst their rising tension. “It’s not. This is about Stepper.”

At this, everyone turned their attention to the fusion once more. All four of his hands were drawn close to him, his eyes wide and worried as he took a small step forward to address Stan and Ford in particular. “I-I… don’t know why you guys are fighting,” he began rather timidly. “But please, don’t. You all seem so sad and angry, and… I don’t really understand why, but I wish I did so I could help somehow.” 

“I-I think I know how you can help!” Mabel piped up urgently. “You can unfuse! I-if you’re just Steven and Dipper again, then there’s no way you won’t be able to remember them because you’ll be them again! It’s that easy!”

“Well, if you think that would help, I’d be happy to do that, it’s just…” Stepper sighed as he placed a hand against the back of his neck. “I… don’t think I can unfuse? Like I said before, I’m not a fusion, so… yeah.”

“For the love of Newton, this is far worse than I could have imagined…” Ford muttered, immensely concerned.

“You’re telling me,” Stan remarked, aptly baffled. “The kid’s completely lost it!”

“Well, he’s certainly lost something…” Pearl added, shaking her head remorsefully. 

“Let’s go back to the temple,” Garnet said, her tone unreadable as she led the way back to the warp pad. “We’ll be able to make more sense of all this there…. Hopefully.”

Though it only took the span of less than five minutes for the group to warp back to the temple, during the short trip, Mabel happened to notice three very specific things about Stepper that no one else really had pointed out yet against everything else. First was his clothes, once torn and tattered thanks to whatever Bill had done to him in the Nightmare Realm, now repaired to pristine condition thanks to Rose’s fountain. And yet, two prominent pieces were missing: the blue pine tree on his hat and the yellow star on his shirt, both markers, both symbols of who the fusion really was, gone just as much as his memory of the two boys that usually wore them seemed to be. Second were his eyes, a far cry from the usual shade of mostly-matched violet brown Stepper was known to have whenever he was around. Instead, they were pink, bright, bold, and undeniably pink, to the point that his irises were practically glowing with it as they sparkled in the light. But third was what was lying just behind those eyes, a sense of innocence, of oblivious unknowing, so unlike the sharp, eager awareness that had once been there instead. Just another worrying sign that something was off, something was so incredibly wrong that even Stepper himself didn’t understand what that something was. 

“Well, there’s gotta be some way to split them up, right?” Amethyst began as everyone congregated around the couch. “Oh! I got it! If he doesn’t know how to split up on his own, then maybe we can just do it for them!”

“D-do what?” Stepper flinched, especially as Amethyst pulled her whip out. 

“We’ll be doing no such thing!” Pearl scolded. “With his gem cracked like that, there’s no telling what Stepper being forcibly split up--or splitting up in general really--could do to Steven and Dipper! Nevermind the fact that he can’t even remember either of them to begin with…”

“S-so… Stepper is just… stuck like this?” Mabel asked fretfully from her spot on the couch right next to the confused fusion. 

“Stuck how?” he asked, though once again he received no direct answer. 

“Yes,” Garnet replied, her arms crossed and her tone rigid as she averted her gaze away from Stepper almost purposefully. “For now.”

“But hopefully not for long,” Ford said, resolved. “Now, to properly solve this problem, the best thing to do is to get to the bottom of what’s actually wrong here.”

“Oh wow, great plan there, poindexter,” Stan deadpanned dryly. “Never could’ve come up with something like that on our own. What genius thinking.”

Ford largely ignored his brother’s sardonic remarks as he instead took a step forward, pulling a pad of paper out so he could jot down some notes. “Alright, Stepper, why don’t we start with you? Since you don’t seem to remember anything about Steven or Dipper or being a fusion, what are you able to remember off the top of your head?”

“Oh,” Stepper blinked, surprised that someone was actually giving him a chance to speak his own piece for a change. “Well… let’s see… I remember meeting all of you, and fighting Peridot’s robots in the woods-”

“Yeah?” Mabel asked, suddenly hopeful at the recollection of a memory from weeks ago now.

“Then there was the time you wanted to research my shield journal,” Stepper said, keeping his focus on Ford before turning it over to Mabel. “Oh! And then we fused!”

“Yeah! Into Dipevebel!” Mabel grinned, gripping the fusion’s arm excitedly. 

“Right,” Stepper nodded with a smile. “Then there was that street race we were part of and… um… I… think that’s it? I can’t really remember anything else until I woke up in that fountain a few minutes ago.”

“Nothing?” Amethyst asked, dumbfounded. “Not even anything about how your gem got all busted up like that?”

“No,” the fusion shook his head, frowning as he glanced down at his damaged gemstone. “Do any of you know how it happened?”

The others fell silent at this, dread filling their expressions as they realized just how blissfully unaware of the immense trauma he’d just been through he really was. They would have preferred to keep him unaware on that particular front too, if not for the fact that the rest of his memories had faded along with the knowledge of what had taken them away from him in the first place. “Stepper, you’ve… been trapped in the Nightmare Realm for the past three days,” Pearl began to explain as carefully as she could. “We can only assume that it was there that Bill got ahold of you and caused grave damage to your gem a-and your memories.”

For the longest time, Stepper said nothing in response to this, his expression still lacking any sort of real understanding, which became even more apparent when he voiced that lack aloud. “Bill? Who’s that?”

“Y-you… you’re kidding, right?” Amethyst asked, baffled. “You know, Bill Cipher? Crazy talking one-eyed triangle? Tried killing all of us, like a bunch of times? Hijacked Dipper’s body once and wants to steal Steven’s gem? None of that’s ringing a bell for you?”

“N-no…” Stepper admitted apprehensively. “But… whoever he is, he sounds like a really bad guy.”

“‘Bad’ is certainly an understatement when it comes to Bill... “ Ford muttered disdainfully. 

“So the kid doesn’t remember who he’s made of,” Stan spoke up impatiently. “He doesn’t remember how it all happened, he doesn’t seem to really remember much of anything! Are we sure this isn’t some weird sort of amnesia situation?”

“O-or maybe he’s just been fused for such a long time that he’s lost himself…?” Pearl proposed. “Oh, but that wouldn’t make any sense, he’s only been fused for three days at most, after all.”

“It’s not entirely impossible though,” Ford pointed out. “Time moves differently in the Nightmare Realm than it does here in our dimension. It’s unpredictable, non-linear. What’s a few mere hours there could be days here, and vice versa, so there’s really no telling how long Stepper’s stint there might have been for him. Especially now that he doesn’t seem to remember it in the slightest.”

“Ugh, who cares about any of that?” Amethyst huffed indignantly. “How are we gonna fix this mess?!”

“Until Stepper regains his memories, there isn’t much of a chance that we can,” Garnet said, adjusting her shades. “He’s the only one who can tell us what happened after all. Well, aside from Bill, but I’m sure I’m not the only one who’d rather not hear it from him.”

“But we don’t even know how he lost his memories in the first place!” Pearl bemoaned fretfully. “How can we go about restoring them if we don’t even know what happened to them?”

From there, a round of debate over this problem broke out, with everyone largely talking over each other as they tried to form a cohesive plan of action. Amidst all this, Stepper sat in silence, trying his best to listen and understand a conversation that kept on going in endless circles, one that concerned him, yet he didn’t entirely know how. He knew well by now that the others were all upset, worried, angry, and afraid, but the reason why was beyond him, a reason obscured by names and events he didn’t know, things he couldn’t comprehend, no matter how hard he tried. At the very least, he could tell there was one thing they all agreed on: they wanted to help him, even if he wasn’t sure he even needed such help at all. 

At the same time, Mabel lingered close by the fusion’s side, her focus dedicated to him rather than the ongoing argument between the Gems and her uncles. The heightened, perhaps even petty tensions between them didn’t matter to her in the slightest; nothing did really, not as long as something was wrong with Stepper, as long as something was wrong with Steven and Dipper. And while everyone else debated over whatever logical, scientific, or brute force plans they could think of, Mabel began to develop one of her own, one based not on the many things they didn’t know about this daunting situation. But instead, a plan based on what she did know about her brother and her best friend. 

“Everyone, hold on a sec!” she shouted as she suddenly jumped onto the coffee table to grab everyone’s attention. “I’ve got an idea, and it’s a good one too!”

While a handful of the others took pause, exchanging an uncertain glance at this, Garnet was the first to prompt her onward. “Go ahead.”

“Ok, so you guys said we won’t be able to fix Stepper’s gem until he splits up first, right?” Mabel began, her tone intent and determined. “And Stepper can’t split up until he remembers who Steven and Dipper are? So that’s where we should start!” She grinned as she spun back around to face the fusion behind her. “By reminding you of who you’re made of!”

“But Mabel,” Stepper said with a small, exasperated sigh. “I’ve already told you, I can’t split up because I’m not a fusion.”

“You are a fusion, and I can prove it!” Mabel retorted, hands on her hips. “First of all, if you’re not a fusion, then why do you have four arms?”

“Uh… well…” Stepper trailed off with a frown as he looked down at his substantial set of hands.

“And how do you explain how you only remember three totally different days before now?” 

“I-I… I just…”

“And out of those three days, how come you only remember a few things about them?”

Stepper interrupted her with another heavy sigh, a hand placed against his now aching head as it struggled to fill in the gaps she kept suggesting to him. “L-Look, I get that not a lot of things are adding up here, but… I still don’t think I’m a fusion. And like I said before, I don’t know who… what were their names again? Sipper and Deven?” 

“Dipper and Steven,” Mabel corrected urgently. 

“Dipper and Steven,” Stepper repeated, the names sounding completely forign to him even as he said them aloud. “I don’t know who either of them are. And if I don’t know them, then how can I possibly be them?” 

“But you are them!” Mabel protested, practically to the point of pleading. “Here, I’ll show you.” With this, she rushed up onto Steven’s bedroom loft, finding his phone lying by his bed quite easily before she rushed it back to the fusion downstairs. “Look! Look at them!” she pulled up one of the many selfies Steven had taken of himself and Dipper, one from not too terribly long ago. “This is Steven, and this is Dipper. Don’t you recognize them? Can’t you see how much they look like you?!”

Stepper looked between the two boys in the photo for quite a long time, not a single sign of recognition showing up in his face even now that he could see some sort of depiction of his two apparent halves for himself. “N-no,” he said with a sad, yet honest frown. “I… I don’t know them. Either of them.” He hesitated in saying anything else, especially as he noticed tears starting to well up in Mabel’s eyes again, her expression overwhelmed with returning grief that she was trying her hardest to force away for his sake. “Mabel, I-I… I’m sorry.”

In an instant, Mabel rushed to wipe her tears away, pulling her shoulder away from the comforting grip Garnet attempted to put on it. “I-it’s ok,” she said, forcing on a reassuring smile. “Because we’re gonna figure this out. Looking at a picture is one thing, but maybe jogging your memories of them might work even better!”

“Uh, how are you gonna do that?” Amethyst asked, mirroring everyone else’s confusion at this plan. 

“I think you mean how are we gonna do that,” Mabel grinned confidently. “Even though Stepper might not know who Steven and Dipper are, that doesn’t mean we don’t! Same goes for everyone else who knows them. Plus, I don’t wanna brag, but we just so happen to have a bona-fide expert when it comes to Dipper here, someone who happens to have known him our entire lives…” Her smile grew as she pointed to herself proudly. 

“Oh! And we’ve known Steven for his entire life!” Pearl added with a newfound grin. 

“Yeah, exactly!” Mabel nodded zealously. “So between all of us, we can fill in all the gaps and remind Stepper who he’s really supposed to be so he can finally unfuse again!”

“But, Mabel,” Stepper attempted to protest in the hopes of voicing his own thoughts about this plan. “I-”

“Shh, it’s ok,” Mabel quieted him, cutting him off in the process. “There’s nothing you need to worry about, Ste-bro. We’ve all got this. We’ve got you.”

Stepper simply let out a resigned sigh at this, realizing once again that the chance for him to even get a simple word of edgewise had been ripped away from him. So instead, he remained quietly sitting on the sidelines while everyone else continued to discuss what they believed was best for him, what they believed he should remember, even if those were memories he knew he didn’t even have to begin with. 

“It’s a… novel idea, Mabel, but… I fear it might be too simple,” Ford noted with a frown. “After all, we’re still not even sure what Bill did to his memories, much less how to get them back. The case could be made that this is all connected to the crack in his gem, but-”

“Will you shut up already, Ford?” Stan asked with a disgruntled scowl. “The kid’s come up with just about the only actual plan I’ve heard thrown around here could actually have a shot at working. I say we give it a try.”

“Same here,” Garnet agreed. “It’s far better than doing nothing.”

“Yeah, but could it actually work?” Amethyst asked with an uncertain frown. 

Garnet shrugged. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” she said, finally mustering a smile for Mabel to show her confidence in her plan. 

“Well, I suppose in the meantime we could always continue looking further into the situation to see if there’s anything else we can do,” Pearl suggested. “J-just in case, of course.”

“Yeah, that’s a great idea!” Mabel surprisingly agreed. “You guys can keep looking at the sciency/Gem side of things, while I take over as the first official self-appointed Memory Captain?”

“Memory Captain?” Stepper spoke up, raising a confused eyebrow. 

“Yeah, ya know, cause I’m putting myself in charge of getting you your memories back, Ste-bro,” she grinned back at him. 

“Oh,” Stepper took a brief, tentative glance down. “Mabel, I-I don’t-”

“I know, I know, you don’t know what to say,” Mabel said with a knowing wave of her hand. “That’s fine, you can always thank me after you remember everything. Now come on,” she enthusiastically grabbed the fusion’s hand, pulling him off the couch as she headed for the door. “We’ve got a lot of work to do to get you back to normal.”

“Yes…” Ford muttered, fretfully looking over his notes as the pair headed out on their endeavor. An endeavor that had really no guarantee of working when it came to setting things right. “It seems as though we all do…”

“Ok, so you remember the day you first fused, fighting Peri’s robots… the time we fused… and when we raced Kevin and his friends… but you don’t remember what happened to you in the Nightmare Realm... did I get that all right?” Mabel asked, trying to make mental notes as the pair made their way down the hill toward the shack.

“Yeah, but I don’t really see what the big deal is?” Stepper shrugged. “I mean, those are all the things that have ever happened to me, right?”

“Those are all the things that have happened to Stepper…” Mabel mused with a dawning realization. 

“Yeah, which… is me,” Stepper nodded, silently wishing that everyone would stop referring to him as if he wasn’t actually present at all. 

“So, you only remember what’s happened while you were you,” Mabel continued down her newfound train of thought. “While you were fused! So… does that mean… you don’t remember anything that happened before this summer?!”

“I… don’t know. What happened before this summer?”

“Everything!” Mabel cried, spinning around to face him with a desperate, shaken expression. “Our whole lives! Dipper and me growing up together in Piedmont, Steven living here with the Gems. You have two entire lives that you just… don’t even remember anymore…”

Stepper wasn’t sure what to say to this as he glanced down apprehensively. Even if he felt far out of the loop in regards to what Mabel was saying, if there was one thing he did understand, it was that he hated seeing her so dejected and despondent. “Hey,” his voice was gentle as he knelt down to her level. “I may not really get what’s going on here with all of this memory stuff, a-and I may not know who… y-your two friends are. But, at least I still know you. Isn’t that enough?”

Mabel stilled, her pressing tears frozen from falling as she looked to the fusion with another wave of painful realization. “S-Stepper… do you know who I am to you?” she asked, almost scared to hear the answer. 

“O-of course I do,” Stepper stood, though even as he did his expression betrayed his bewilderment. “Y-you’re… um… I… you… you’re… someone really important to me…”

“Yeah, but how?” Mabel pressed. “How do you know me?”

Stepper stammered, shaking his head as he pressed a hand to his head, searching for an answer he couldn’t quite find. “I-I don’t know…” he admitted, his voice almost a whisper as he spoke. “I just… do…”

Mabel forced back a mournful sob at this, yet even so she rushed in to tightly embrace the fusion, who readily returned it, a fact that only served to strike at her aching heart even more than his answer already had. “It’s ok, Ste-bro,” she assured so quietly her voice was barely even audible. “I’ll help you figure it out.”

Even though he wasn’t entirely sure why, Stepper’s first thought was to thank her for her dedication, though he didn’t get much of a chance to before their hug was interrupted as something soft suddenly bumped into him from behind. “Huh?” he relinquished his hold on Mabel, turning to find the large pink beast standing behind him. “Ah! W-what is that thing?!” he exclaimed fearfully, rushing to take cover behind Mabel. 

“Uh, that’s just Lion,” Mabel said, stepping over to scratch the pink beast behind the ear. 

“Y-yeah, I know it’s a lion,” Stepper said, all four of his arms held in front of him defensively as he looked to Lion incredulously. “But why is it here? And why is it pink?”

“Wait,” Mabel frowned, pausing briefly to quiet Lion’s sudden quiet growling before she turned back to the fusion. “You mean… you don’t remember Lion either?”

“Uh, I’ve never seen that thing before,” Stepper said anxiously. “I’m pretty sure I would remember a huge pink lion.”

“But… Lion’s your…” Mabel trailed off before letting out a soft, stunned gasp. “Stepper’s never met Lion before…” she whispered, largely to herself. She was quick to shake the pressing thought of what or who else he might not remember away, instead taking the fusion by the hand once more to expedite their trip down to the Mystery Shack. “Come on,” she said, her tone rather solemn as they continued onward. “It looks like you’ve got more remembering to do than I thought…”

It didn’t take very long for the pair to reach the shack, with Lion trailing not too far behind them as he kept a close, somewhat distrustful watch on Stepper all the while. The fusion returned that watch, unsure of what the pink beast might do, even though Mabel assured him several times over that he was completely tame. Still, Lion was content enough to wait outside as Stepper and Mabel ventured inside the shack through the gift shop, though in doing so, they happened to encounter their pair of employees waiting around inside. 

“Oh! Mabel, you’re finally back!” Soos greeted with a smile as he took a break from sweeping. “How’s it goin’, hambone? Did you guys finally find Dipper and Steven?”

“From the looks of it, I’d say they did,” Wendy said, allayed as Stepper entered right behind Mabel. 

“Ah ah ah, correction, Wendy; that’s Stepper,” Soos pointed out. 

“Finally, someone gets it,” Stepper sighed somewhat wearily before he offered the pair a casual wave. “Hey, Soos. Hey, Wendy. What’s up?”

“Whaaaa?!” Mabel gasped, looking at the fusion in awe at this. “You remember Soos and Wendy but you don’t remember Lion?!”

“Uh… yeah, I guess?” Stepper said, still not sure of what the significance of that fact was. 

Though Mabel was baffled into silence at this, Soos and Wendy had their fair share of questions from the very start. “Whoa, hold on,” Wendy started first. “What do you mean remember?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t Stepper remember us?” Soos inquired, just as curious. “I mean, I know he’s a totally awesome Gem fusion, but he’s still Steven and Dipper, right?”

“Ugh… and there it is again…” Stepper muttered, crossing his lower arms upon hearing this bizarre claim once more. 

“Yeah, but… he’s the only one who doesn’t really think so anymore…” Mabel sighed sadly. “He doesn’t remember either of them. Or that he’s even a fusion at all…”

“What?!” Soos and Wendy exclaimed in shared alarm, both of them looking to Stepper in apt worry as they unloaded their flood of questions at a hectic pace. 

“So he doesn’t remember who he is? Dude…”

“What happened to him?”

“But he remembered us, so… what’s that all about?”

“Oh my gosh! Look at his gem! Who did that?”

“Does that hurt? Is he gonna be ok?”

“H-hey, I am ok,” Stepper finally spoke up to stem the tide of questions he had no answers for. “We’re-”

“We’re gonna get to the bottom of this and fix it,” Mabel cut him off, grabbing his arm once more as she began leading him through the gift shop. 

“Well, if you need any help, just ask,” Wendy offered firmly. 

“Yeah, anything for Steven and Dipper, dude,” Soos solidly agreed. 

But nothing for me, I guess… Stepper thought, not even bothering to voice the notion aloud this time. 

“Thanks, you guys,” Mabel called back as she continued pulling Stepper along. “We’ll keep you posted on what happens.”

Soos and Wendy offered the pair their well wishes as they headed out, with Mabel wasting no time in rushing upstairs to the attic with Stepper following not too far behind her. “Hey, Mabel?” he began tentatively as they arrived in the bedroom. “Can we, uh… talk for a second?”

“We sure can,” Mabel replied as she began looking through her half of the room. “Just as soon as I find--aha! Here it is!” She plopped down onto the rug on the floor with her summer scrapbook, motioning for Stepper to join her so he could take a look. “My scrapbook here is bound to help you remember something. Like this!” she pointed to a picture of Steven helping Dipper look through the journal quite some time ago. “This is the first picture I took of Steven and Dipper this summer. Back when we were trying to stop that red eye thingy from crashing into Gravity Falls. You remember that?”

“No, I… don’t,” Stepper shook his head, though Mabel was quick to continue. 

“O-ok, well, you’ve gotta remember this,” she turned to a page depicting all three of them playing with what seemed to be some sort of antique mirror. “When we found that mirror Lapis was trapped in and saved her? Then we saved the lake from her? Steven healed her and she went back to space, to Homeworld! And Dipper found her when she came back and me and him saved Steven and the Gems from Jasper and Peridot! It was huge, high-stakes, really dangerous, you’ve gotta remember that!”

“Mabel, I really wish I knew what you were talking about, but I don’t,” Stepper sighed, not recognizing a single moment among the countless photos she kept showing him. 

“Malachite! There’s no way you can’t remember Malachite!” Mabel kept going almost manically. “Dipper made a deal with Bill to try to free Lapis from her fusion with Jasper but Bill possessed his body. We saved him, and then it wasn’t too long after that that the portal Grunkle Stan was hiding under the shack opened and we met Grunkle Ford for the first time. Then we caught Peridot after she fused with Bill to make Pyrite; Steven and Dipper were the ones who stopped them! Then Dipper and the Gems stopped Malachite, while Peri, Steven, and I stopped the Cluster. We all saved the day! Everything should be fine now! B-but… it’s not…” She could feel her eyes growing wet with oncoming tears once more as she forced herself to look away from the proof of their triumph. A triumph that felt all but hollow now in light of what had just been lost. 

Stepper was quick to reach out a hand to comfort her, though he stopped short upon noticing one of the several pictures decorating the page of the scrapbook they were on. The same photo Mabel had shown him earlier at the temple, one of whom she had said were Steven and Dipper themselves. 

Carefully, while Mabel was distracted, Stepper lifted the photo out of the book to get a better view of it. He studied it carefully, taking in the pair of boys depicted on it, their shared smiles warm and cheerful as they stood with their arms resting on each other's shoulders. There was no doubt that, whoever they were, they were close, best friends perhaps, though he wasn’t quite sure. And while they did bear something of a passing semblance to him in different ways, even as Stepper stared at the photo for what felt like ages, not a single thing about either of these boys so much as minutely registered in his memories. He didn’t know them. He couldn’t be them. He wasn’t them. He knew that. 

And yet… he couldn’t deny the small burst of longing emptiness that filled him when he looked at them all the same. 

“Y-you can keep that if you want to,” Mabel suddenly spoke up, noticing just how captivated the fusion was by the photo. “Maybe it might help you remember them…”

Stepper didn’t respond to this, instead keeping his sights set on her as he tucked the photo safely away inside his vest. At the same time, Mabel took in a deep, steadying breath as she closed her scrapbook, a newfound smile overtaking her expression as she stood with another new idea in mind. 

“Well, if I can’t get you to remember, then maybe we can find someone else who can,” she concluded, grinning at Stepper as he also stood up. “And I just so happen to know a handful of people who are super important to Steven and Dipper that just might be able to help.”

“But Mabel, I-”

“I know you’re worried, Ste-bro,” Mabel said, taking his lower hands in hers. “T-to be honest, I am too. But I promise you, I’m not gonna rest until you’re back to who you’re supposed to be. Now let’s get going! We’ve got places to be and people to see!”

With that, Mabel ran off, leading the way and leaving Stepper with no real choice but to follow. Still, before he did, he hesitated, taking a moment to pull the photo of Steven and Dipper out one more time as he felt another wave of what almost felt like loneliness washed over him. Loneliness and perhaps, even a bit of bitterness as well. “Who I’m supposed to be…” he repeated softly to the photo, shaking his head before he ultimately put it away.

“Kon'nichiwa! You’ve reached Connie Maheswaran. I’m currently on a week-long vacation in Japan and don’t have international coverage, which is why I’m unable to answer your call at this time. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I’ve returned to the country. Thank you and Sayōnara!”

“Ugh, of all the times for her to be on vacation…” Mabel muttered to herself as she listened to Connie’s voicemail before leaving her message. “Uh, h-hey, Connie. H-how’s Tokyo? Um, look, we’ve kind of got a bit of a… situation going on here, so if you do somehow manage to find somewhere where you have coverage before you get back, could maybe call me back, like… as soon as possible? Thanks, bye.”

Mabel let out a sigh as she hung up just as Stepper caught up with her along the trail that led toward town “Hey, who were you talking to?” he asked, curiously. 

“Connie,” she answered, letting out a sigh of disappointment. “Or at least I was trying to talk to her… It’s sort of hard to do since she’s on the other side of the ocean right now.”

“Connie…” Stepper repeated thoughtfully. “I know her.”

“You do?!” Mabel gasped with a bit of newfound hope. 

“Yeah,” the fusion nodded. “She was there during that race, just like you were, remember?”

“N-no, Stepper, she’s...” Mabel trailed off with a small sigh. “C-Connie’s one of our best friends. The four of us: me, Dipper, Steven, and Connie, we’re the Mystery Kids. You remember being one--or two I guess, of the Mystery Kids… right?”

“Mabel, I know you want me to say yes, but-”

“I-I know,” Mabel closed her eyes, largely in an attempt at blocking away tears. “You don’t. I-its ok. We’ll figure this out.”

“That’s what you keep saying…” Stepper muttered, rubbing one of his upper arms. 

“In fact, we might figure it out right now,” Mabel perked up as they finally arrived in town. Or rather, to the car wash sitting on the nearest edge of town. “Mr. Universe!?” she called as she ran up to the former rock star’s van and knocked on its back door. “Are you home?”

Fortunately, Greg was home as he burst out of the back of the van, disheveled and exhausted after days of a largely fruitless search for his missing son. “Oh! Mabel, it’s you,” he said, running a hand through his messy locks. “A-any word on the boys yet? Have the Gems found them?”

“Well, y-yeah, sort of…” Mabel replied rather anxiously as she glanced behind her to see Stepper joining them. “But…”

“Huh?” Greg looked to Stepper, initially confused before he quickly gathered who was standing before him. “Ohhh... I get it; they fused!”

“Heh, yeah…” Mabel let out an uncomfortable laugh. “Mr. Universe, t-this is Stepper.”

“Stepper, huh?” Greg said with a small sigh of relief as he stepped out of his van. “It’ve heard about you from Steven. Nice to finally meet you in person. And even better to see you’re both safe and sound.” 

At this, the fusion was caught off guard as the former rock star wrapped him into a tight, protective embrace. One that he didn’t really make any move to return. “Um… it’s nice to meet you too, sir,” he said stiffly, awkwardly even. 

“Sir?” Greg chuckled as he pulled away from the fusion, wiping away a few tears. “You don’t have to be so formal with me. I am your dad after all. I-in a way. Partially. I think? Hm…”

“Wait, you are?” Stepper asked, baffled by this information. 

“Yes…?” Greg’s smile was quick to disappear at this. “I mean, I’m definitely Steven’s dad, at least, so-”

“Uh, M-Mr. Universe?” Mabel interjected fretfully, hesitating to even deliver the horrific news to the former rock star at all. Even if she knew she had to. “Something happened and, um… well, Stepper doesn’t really… remember a whole lot right now. He doesn’t think he’s a fusion, a-and he doesn’t remember Steven or Dipper either…”

“W-what…?” Greg balked, aptly distraught as he looked Stepper over. “B-but he’s…” The former rock star let out a shaken gasp as he finally noticed the fusion’s fractured gemstone. “Y-your gem… what… what happened to it? Is this why y-you can’t…?”

Stepper had no answer for these almost tearful questions, though thankfully Mabel spoke to them instead. “It’s a… long story…” she sighed sadly. “Grunkle Ford and the Gems do think it is the reason why his memories are all wonky, b-but we’re trying to fix them, and I thought bringing him to you might help him at least remember Steven, but…”

“D-did it work?” Greg pressed, looking to Stepper with hope and desperation in his voice alike. “Do you remember me? D-do you remember Steven?”

Stepper could easily see the grief rising in the expression of the man standing before him, and though he couldn’t really claim to know this man, he still couldn’t help but feel guilty for that grief all the same. And yet, he didn’t dare lie to him, knowing that doing so, that giving him false hope for something that would ultimately be just an act, a falsehood, a meager attempt at replicating what he didn’t even truly believe he’d really lost. “N-no…” he admitted sympathetically, apologetically. “I don’t… I’m sorry.”

Try as he might, Greg was completely helpless against the heavy sob that escaped him as he collapsed to take a seat in the back of the van. His expression was rife with tearful grief as he averted his gaze away from the fusion that was partially composed of his son. His son, who didn’t remember his father, who didn’t even remember himself, it seemed. “W-why… how…” he choked out another sob, his face buried in his hands all the while. “H-how does he just… not remember who he is? T-that’s not how fusions work, r-right?”

“N-no, it’s not…” Mabel said quietly. “L-like I said, we don’t really know how this happened. B-but don’t worry; we’re all working on a way to figure this out and get his memories back. Aren’t we, Stepper?”

Stepper hesitated to give a proper answer to this, especially as he met Greg’s heartbroken gaze once more. While he had leaned into honesty earlier, the fusion couldn’t help but offer up something of a lie now, all in the hopes of easing that heartbreak at least a little. “R-right…” he said softly as he glanced away. 

“R-right,” Greg added with a small, resigned sigh. He offered the pair a grateful smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes, particularly as he regarded Stepper once more. “Uh… I-I...better go check in with the Gems about all this.” He stood to head to the front of the van, clearly struggling to be near his “son” in such a forgetful state. “I-I’ll see you kids around…” 

The former rock star didn’t see much else before getting into the van and driving off toward the temple, in the hopes of getting a more complete picture of what was happening from the Gems. As well as further reassurance that something was being done to fix it. At the same time, Mabel and Stepper set out from the car wash, their manner equally solemn as they began to wander out toward the lake with no real set purpose in mind.

“Mabel?” Stepper began as he stopped, his expression awash in fretful woe. 

“Yeah, Stepper?” 

“I… I feel bad for that Mr. Universe guy…” the fusion glanced back at the direction Greg’s van had gone. “He was so… sad, just like you and the Gems were before. A-and I know you’re going to tell me it’s not, but… I know i-it’s all my fault…”

“Stepper, no,” Mabel was quick to reassure him as she grabbed his lower set of arms. “None of this is your fault; it’s Bill’s! You’re not-”

“I’m not who you want me to be,” Stepper said quickly, firmly as he pulled his hands away. “I’m just not. I’m sorry.”

“N-no, you… you are, you just don’t remember-”

“Mabel, please,” Stepper stopped her, letting out an irritated huff as he did. “Can we just sto-”

“Mabel?!”

The tension rising between the two fell apart as quickly as the conversation itself did as this call reached them from just a short way down the street. “Pacifica!” Mabel shouted back to the heiress as she ran up to her, phone in hand. 

“I-I just got your text,” Pacifica began breathlessly. “You said you found him? You found Dipper?!”

“W-well, yeah…” Mabel began tentatively. “But Pacifica, he’s not-”

“Where is he?!” the heiress pressed, immensely concerned for her boyfriend’s wellbeing. “Is he ok? Is he… he…” She trailed off, her eyes wide and her jaw dropped in awe as she happened to glance over at the fusion. Or, as far as she knew, the strangely four-armed, yet very handsome young man standing alongside Mabel. “H-hey…” she greeted him, her face suddenly feeling hot for reasons she couldn’t begin to explain. 

“Hi,” he offered her a small wave and a smile, one that practically made her melt when she thought about who it reminded her of. 

“Oh, uh… P-Pacfica, this is Stepper-” Mabel filled in, though she was quickly interrupted. 

“Stepper…” Pacifica repeated in the form of a small, almost wistful sigh. “You look familiar…”

“You… don’t,” Stepper replied, his smile faltering somewhat. 

“She should be familiar, Stepper,” Mabel sighed tiredly. “Pacifica is Dipper’s girlfriend. A-and, well, you see, Pacifica, Stepper here is a fusion.”

“Oh?” Pacifica was barely listening, her sights still set on Stepper as she broke out into a soft, fond smile. 

“Yeah, h-he’s actually… Steven and Dipper.”

“Oh,” the heiress blinked, this information finally breaking her out of whatever unintentional trance the fusion had somehow put her under. “Oh! Oh. Ohhhh my gosh, this is… embarrassing.” Her already palpable blush deepened exponentially as she finally tore her flustered gaze away from Stepper. “I… mean, if that’s true, then you are technically my boyfriend, but you’re also not, a-and, ugh, this whole fusion thing is so confusing, I don’t know how any of you manage to keep it all straight.”

“Well, most of the time, it’s pretty easy, but this is a little… different,” Mabel said, biting her lip. “For starters, Stepper… doesn’t really remember who Steven and Dipper are right now. A-and… I don’t think he would know who you are either, Pacifica, since Stepper has never met you for himself until now.”

“W-what…?” Pacifica asked in newfound fear, especially as she met Stepper’s rather oblivious expression once more. That fear only grew as she realized the only boy she’d ever truly liked, perhaps even more than liked, might very well be lost to her forever. “You… don’t know who I am?”

Stepper faltered, seeing that familiar kind of grief well up in the heiress’ eyes. Grief that he kept bringing to just about everyone he encountered, it seemed. “I… no, I don’t…” he answered simply, averting her pleading gaze. 

Those words might as well have been knives for how sharp and painful they were when they hit Pacifica’s heart. She usually wasn’t one to openly display her emotions in public, but right now, there was no stopping the steady tears that fell as she realized her fears were all-too true. “H-how… how did this happen?” she asked Mabel, trying to make sense of something so unimaginable. 

“Well, Steven and Dipper got sucked into a portal to the Nightmare Realm, where Bill-”

“Wait, what?” Pacifica interjected, confused. “Nightmare Realm? Bill? What are you talking about?”

“Ugh, seriously? Dipper’s never told you about Bill before?” Pacifica shook her head, eliciting another exasperated groan out of Mabel as she facepalmed. “How many times have I told him? The key to a healthy relationship is communication. Even if that communication is about a crazy, vengeance-driven dream demon who stole his body and tried killing all of us!” Her manner was still quite severe as she turned to Stepper, who was every bit as out of the loop as Pacifica currently was. “As soon as you remember yourself, you’re getting a stern talking-to about this, mister!”

“Um… what?” Stepper asked, absolutely lost.

“Anyway,” Mabel took in a deep breath as she turned back to Pacifica. “The whole thing’s kind of a mess, but-” She stopped short as she heard a sudden loud choke of a sob escape the heiress. “P-Pacifica?”

For her part, Pacifica had taken Stepper’s lower hands into hers, her expression awash in misery as she stared up into his sympathetic, but unknowing eyes. Eyes that were a far cry from those of the boy she had fallen for, and yet... “Y-you… look so much like him…” she whispered mournfully. “B-but you’re not him… are you?”

Stepper nearly answered this, but just before he could, Mabel was quick to step in with some much-needed reassurance. “He is Dipper. And Steven,” she said firmly, almost as if she was trying to convince herself of that fact too. “And I promise that I’m doing everything I can to help him remember that. To help him remember everything.”

This promise did serve to ease Pacifica’s frayed nerves a bit, though far from entirely when she thought about the possibility that there was still a chance, however unbearable, that Dipper might be gone for good. “I-is there anything I can do to help?”

“I’ll let you know if there is,” Mabel said, pulling the heiress into a comforting hug, one that she surprisingly accepted in her dejected state. 

“Thank you…” Pacifica whispered as she parted from Mabel, only to catch Stepper by surprise with a sudden embrace before she left. “Come back to me…” she whispered to him, or rather, to Dipper, someone who couldn’t even hear her to begin with. “Please…”

Stepper had no idea what to even say to this, even as Pacifica pulled away from him, tears still in her eyes as she silently began to walk away. He felt guilty as he watched her go, and though he would have even liked to have said that he felt longing, he didn’t. Because he didn’t know her. Because he didn’t know them. Because he didn’t know much at all, it seemed. 

Mabel said nothing to him as she turned to continue on her way. And once again, Stepper found that he had no choice but to follow. 

The next part of Mabel’s plan wasn’t exactly the most solid, but it was still a plan all the same, one that involved taking Stepper around Gravity Falls in the hopes that familiar places might somehow jog his missing memories. They started downtown, passing by spots Steven and Dipper had once frequented, from Funland Arcade to Greasy’s Diner to Gravity Fries to the museum. For his part, Stepper hardly noticed any of the peculiar glances that were sent his way over his extra set of arms. Instead, he went along for the ‘Grand Gravity Falls Tour’ as Mabel put it, quietly appreciating the sights she showed him and the stories behind each one. Stories that she claimed he had been a part of, or his supposed halves had, rather, even if he didn’t remember a single one. 

The lake and the forest were by far his favorite stops along the tour however. The lake’s peaceful waters were a much-needed comfort after the hectic day he’d been having. If it had been up to him, he would have spent the rest of the afternoon soaking up the warm summer sun on their soft, sandy shores, staring out across the glistening water all the while. But then Mabel pulled him into the forest, filled with secrets and magic and surprises at every turn, or at least that’s what she told him. Stepper, however, felt a different kind of magic wafting through the trees, one that was perhaps a bit mythical, but every bit as special all the same. The easy summer breezes were gentle as they blew through the trees, lightly skimming his face every bit as much as the small specks of sunlight spilling in through the trees above did. And for what felt for the first time amidst the few memories he had to his name, he actually noticed that breeze, noticed the birds chirping on the branches above him, noticed the sweet scent of summer blossoms, notice the bright blue vibrancy of the handful of forget-me-nots he casually picked along the way. 

And as he noticed it all, he couldn’t help but think how lucky he was to be there amidst it all. To be himself, even with barely any memories to speak of, even with gaping, glaring holes in what few memories he did have. To be someone somewhere as beautiful as this. Each new moment he lived in, each new memory he created he couldn’t help but treasure between the far too few he’d had before. And the more memories he made, however minute and minuscule they might have been, he couldn’t help but want to make more. He couldn’t help but want to be more, to show everyone that he was more than just two faces he still couldn’t quite place. Two faces that everyone kept telling him he was when the only glimpse he’d ever had of them was by way of a simple faded photograph. 

Despite what everyone kept telling him, what everyone wanted out of him, Stepper couldn’t help but want to be nobody else other than himself. 

The sun was setting by the time the pair found themselves arriving back at the Mystery Shack, though they soon found that they weren’t the only ones doing so. For just as they were approaching the shack, a certain green Gem happened to suddenly faceplant right into the lawn before them. Peridot quickly recovered, however, pulling herself to her feet as she rushed over to Mabel first. 

“Maaaaaaabel! I received your textual communication via the ‘interweb’,” she frantically explained, pulling her tablet out. 

“Uh… you mean the email I sent you?” Mabel frowned, confused. 

“Yes!” Peridot nodded vigorously. “And it looks like it’s true. You really did find Steven and Dipper after all! Though do they really need to be fused into, ugh, the Stepper?”

“It’s good to see you too, Peridot,” Stepper regarded the green Gem almost dryly. 

“W-well, at least you remember Peri,” Mabel said to the fusion with something of a forced grin. 

“Remember me?” Peridot raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

Before Mabel could get a chance to explain, Lapis suddenly flew in, her manner tense and anxious as she let her aquatic wings disappear the moment she landed. “You said Dipper and Steven are back,” she grabbed Mabel by the shoulders, her eyes wide as they betrayed her clear worry just as much as her tone did. “We’ve been out looking for them all day and night. Are they ok? Where are they?!”

“Uh, well…” Mabel trailed off, unsure of how to explain the situation to Lapis, of all Gems, as she briefly glanced over at Stepper. 

“Wait, w-what?” the blue Gem’s gaze jumped to the fusion as well. “Who is this? What’s going on?”

“That’s the Stepper,” Peridot remarked, crossing her arms. 

“Stepper?” 

“H-he’s a fusion,” Mabel explained apprehensively. “O-Of… Dipper and Steven.”

Lapis gasped, taking a stumbling step back away from Stepper upon hearing this, even though her focus remained on him all the while. “W-what? D-Dipper and Steven can fuse? B-but how? Wait… w-why is their gem cracked?! Can’t they heal it like Steven did for mine?! Does it hurt? C-can you unfuse?! Can you-”

“Um… a-actually, Lapis,” Mabel winced, well aware of the panic welling up in the blue Gem’s eyes. “S-Stepper can’t unfuse right now. N-not with his gem like, well, t-that…”

Lapis shuddered, gripping the fusion’s upper arms tightly as she pleaded with him almost painfully. “C-can either of you hear me in there?!” she asked tightly, desperately as Stepper met her anxious gaze with startled surprise. “It’s ok! You can unfuse! You don’t have to be stuck together like I was stuck to-” She cut herself off, shaking her head against the remnant terror even just thinking of Malachite always managed to bring her. “P-please, just… unfuse, for me. I need to see you, both of you. Please.”

Stepper frowned at this, faced with another pang of guilt he had no idea how to ease as he pulled himself away from the frantic blue Gem. “I-I’m sorry but… do I know you?” 

“Oh no…” Mabel whispered worriedly as she watched Lapis freeze up in shock over such a piercing question. 

“W-what… what are you talking about?” the blue Gem asked, her entire body trembling with dread by this point. “O-of course you know me. Both of you do! It’s me: Lapis! R-remember?!”

“I-I don’t, but please, d-don’t feel bad about that,” Stepper tried to ease her obvious despair. “I’ve been meeting a lot of new people today, so-”

“I’m not a new person, NOT to either YOU!” Lapis shouted at him, suddenly furious as she turned to interrogate Mabel. “What’s the matter with them!? What happened?!”

“I-it was Bill,” Mabel answered, flinching over just how enraged Lapis was amidst her grief. At the same time, she heard Peridot let out a poignant squeak of fear the moment the dream demon’s name was so much as mentioned, understandable after what he’d put her through before. 

“T-that demon Dipper told me about the other day?” Lapis asked, her eyes narrowing. 

“Y-yeah,” Mabel nodded gravely. “Steven and Dipper got sucked into his dimension a-and they must have fused to try and fight him b-but… he cracked Stepper’s gem and we’re thinking that might have done something to his memories? But… we’re not sure. I’ve been working on helping him remember stuff all day, but-”

“H-he did this to them…” Lapis suddenly spoke, her voice but a low, intense whisper as her hands tightened into tense fists at her sides. “Wasn’t it enough for that… that monster to steal Dipper’s body?! He had to crack Steven’s gem too!? And now he’s got them both trapped... in a fusion of all things, without any of their memories?!” Lapis’ breathing was harsh and heavy as she paced around hotly, her hands pressed against her head as her anger only seemed to rise toward a rapid boiling point. 

“L-Lapis?” Peridot dared to speak up, reaching a trembling hand toward the blue Gem, though it never reached her. 

“We have to get their memories back,” Lapis said rigidly, still absolutely livid as she spun around to face the others. “And we have to make him pay for what he’s done to them. I wasn’t around to protect them from him before but I am not about to let him get away with hurting either of them any more!”

“L-Lapis…” Mabel attempted to interact before Peridot spoke up in her place. 

“A-are you crazy?!” she asked, terrified and incredulous. “You can’t just go up against someone like…” she hesitated, letting the dream demon’s name out in a feeble whisper, lest he was somehow listening in. “B-Bill Cipher. He’s a madman! A lunatic, who-”

“I don’t care!” Lapis snapped fiercely. “I told Dipper that I would never let that guy mess with him again, and I meant that. I don’t care if I have to go face him all by myself, I will, for them, to get back what they lost. Wouldn’t you?”

Peridot flinched at such a harshly asked question, one that she was hard pressed to answer given her prior daunting experience with the dream demon in question. “I-I…” she hesitated, and that was all the ammunition Lapis needed. 

“Don’t you care about them?!” she accused, overwhelmed by her fury more than anything else. Fury that she had to place somewhere, even if she couldn’t actually fire it at the one who really deserved it at the moment. “Don’t either of them matter to you?! Why wouldn’t you want to do anything in your power to help them!?”

“I-I do!” Peridot protested earnestly. “O-of course I do! I-I want to help them, just like you do, but I-I just… I… I can’t…”

“Why not?” Lapis hissed between gritted teeth. 

Peridot paused, her eyes wide with fear as she glanced over at Mabel. For her own part, Mabel was quite shaken by the intensity of the ongoing argument, as was Stepper, even if he was largely lost when it came to its subject. Still, Mabel offered Peridot a silent nod of solidarity, prompting her to finally have a discussion with Lapis that she’d been trying to avoid since they’d moved into the barn together. A discussion she’d been trying to avoid having with anyone, really. 

“S-Stepper, it’s… getting kinda late,” Mabel whispered to the fusion as she began to lead him back toward the shack. “W-we should head inside…”

Stepper didn’t argue, though as he left with Mabel, he did cast a silent, sympathetic glance over his shoulder at the pair of Gems that remained outside as Peridot began to weave a story of woe that she believed was best left forgotten. “I-I… suppose I just come right out and say it…” the green Gem glanced down guiltily. “I’ve… fused with… with Bill Cipher before…”

Needless to say that Lapis was stunned upon hearing this, her former fury stalled as an entirely new type of anger filled in its place. “You… what?” she asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper. 

“I-It was a mistake! A-a complete and total mistake that I’m incredibly ashamed of, you need to know that above all else!” Peridot implored her anxiously. “H-he promised me he’d get me back to Homeworld, h-he said he was working in league with the Diamonds (and he is by the way, that’s just about the only thing he wasn’t lying about). But he-””

“A-and you said yes?! You let him fuse with you?!” Lapis asked, baffled. 

“I-I understand how foolish it sounds in retrospect, b-but at the time, Pyrite seemed like the perfect proposition!” Peridot took a nervous step back. “I-it wasn’t of course, e-especially after he took control a-and forced me to the wayside. H-he essentially trapped me inside my own gem with him! T-that’s just what he does, from what I’ve heard. He traps you in situations you can’t get out of, n-not without having to ask him for his “help”. That’s what he did to me, a-and I’m willing to bet that’s what he did to Steven and Dipper too…”

Lapis’s anger finally cooled somewhat at this, her expression falling into sudden solace at this as she let out a long, remorseful sigh over her previous thoughtless behavior. “P-Peridot, I… I had no idea…” she said quietly. “I’m… I’m sorry…”

“You’re not the one who needs to be sorry,” Peridot’s manner turned resolved as she offered the blue Gem a supportive smile. “I-I may not be strong or brave enough to face Cipher again, but Lapis, you… I know you are, for both of us! If there’s anyone who can help Steven and Dipper now, it’s you. Well, and Mabel and Garnet and Amethyst and Pearl and Ford and--”

“Ok, ok, I get it,” Lapis said with a small chuckle. 

“B-but I also want you to know that I’m willing to do whatever I can to help on this end of things,” Peridot affirmed. “So, what do you say we figure out how to take a dastardly demon down a peg?”

“I’m in,” Lapis readily agreed, calling upon her wings before she took Peridot’s hands and hoisted her up into the air. And together, both Gems headed off toward the Crystal Temple, hoping that they weren’t too late to join the cause to stop Bill and save Steven and Dipper in the process. 

For the rest of the evening, neither Stan nor Ford were anywhere to be found; the same could be said of the Gems, and though Mabel half wanted to look for them, she knew she had nothing new to report to them anyway. Stepper’s lack of memories was still just as apparent as it had been from the time they’d found him earlier that day. A painful reminder that only got all the more agonizing whenever she happened to bring up something the fusion had no recollection of, only to receive yet another blank stare, another question of confusion, another piece of proof that he had lost touch with who he really was. 

So eventually, Mabel stopped trying, at least for tonight, as exhaustion finally began to catch up with her. After all, while Steven and Dipper had been missing, she hadn’t exactly been getting the best sleep, if any at all. And though she still felt incredibly restless and anxious, she knew weighing herself down by tiredness would do nothing to help Stepper, Steven, or Dipper alike. So she decided to turn in early for the night, encouraging Stepper to do the same as she led him back up to the attic. 

“S-so… it’s been a pretty long, less than successful day, b-but that alright,” Mabel let out a sharp breath as she jumped up onto her bed. “We can always keep trying tomorrow and who knows? Maybe a good night’s sleep will help you out in the memory department.”

“Uh… right…” Stepper said halfheartedly as he took to the empty bed across from her. He slipped off his vest and cap and made an attempt at laying out on the bed, only for his legs to end up dangling over the edge rather substantially. “Huh. Bed’s too short…”

“Ha! That’s exactly what we said!” Mabel chuckled as she began to tuck herself in. 

“What who said?”

Mabel’s fond smile was quick to fade at this, not even really needing to ask herself whether or not Stepper would even remember Maven in his current state. After all, the only thing he really seemed to remember in any sort of detail was himself. “N-no one…” she said with a small, sad sigh as she rolled onto her other side to face away from the fusion. “It’s... no one…”

“Mabel?” Stepper pressed, though he received no answer from her this time. So instead, he let out a soft sigh of his own as he turned the desk lamp off and laid down, his feet still hanging off the edge of the bed as all four of his hands rested against his chest. Briefly, he glanced down at the cracked gemstone on his stomach, its fractured, dull pink looking paler than ever against the moonlight shining in through the window above him. 

He wasn’t sure he entirely believed in his connections to the people who claimed to know him that he’d never even seen before and he sincerely doubted the idea of him being a fusion between two boys he didn’t know a thing about. But if there was one thing Stepper was certain of, it was the deep, unhealable crack in the stone on his gut. A crack that he hadn’t the faintest idea about where it came from. Everyone claimed that “Bill” person was responsible for it, but Stepper didn’t know him, didn’t know anything of him other than the claim that he was bad news and everyone who knew of him seemed to hate him relentlessly. And even if that was what everyone was claiming, Stepper still wanted to know for himself, still wanted to reclaim that apparently missing memory above all else. Because unlike his supposed identity as “Steven” and “Dipper” there was at the very least, actual proof that crack actually existed--he didn’t need to look any further than his stomach for that. Yet for as present as the crack itself was, it was still such a mystery to him, a mystery that he wanted to solve, that he felt like he needed to solve to fill that lingering, aching sense of emptiness within him. Far more than he needed to know the two boys everyone kept telling him he was. 

And then, suddenly, completely out of nowhere, a flash. A sharp and sudden gasp he took in as a burst of unknown, yet somehow familiar pain seized him. And with that pain, with that gasp, came that flash, like a dream, no a memory of something he didn’t recognize, something he didn’t know. Something sharp and dark, plummeting toward him, toward his gem as it touched it. As it slammed into it. 

As it cracked it.

And that was it. That was all he saw, all he was allowed to see. Because just like that it was over and he was back in the present, back in the bedroom, back in the mystery that left him perplexed and distressed and confused, feelings he’d been awash in all day. The only positive he could see was that the brief bout of pain he’d felt faded as though it had never fallen upon him whatsoever. But that hardly left him comforted when he considered where it had come from to begin with. He noticed that a few more cracks expanded over his skin surrounding his gem, thin pink lines tracing across his stomach as they further fractured a story that he only had the sparsest of pieces of. 

A story, a mystery he wondered if he’d ever truly be able to piece together to create the complete picture to.

Staying up all night was hardly anything new to either the Gems or Ford; it was something they had used to do together quite frequently back in their days of working on the portal together, however ill-fated that work ended up being. But their latest all-nighter had been spent on a much more important cause to all of them; namely, figuring out exactly what had happened to Stepper and how to fix it. 

“What do ya mean you don’t know?!” Amethyst huffed in extreme annoyance. The Gems stood anxiously by while Ford paced around his lab in the shack’s lowest level, his intensive search through all of his notes proving to be rather fruitless by most accounts. “Aren’t you supposed to know like, everything there is to know about Bill? You guys were good buddies back in the day after all, right?”

“I would hardly say that,” Ford scoffed bitterly. “And besides, Bill is an enigma, his true intentions in any given situation are anyone’s guess--well, aside from the fact that they’re always self-serving.”

“But what would Bill have to gain by doing this to Stepper?” Pearl asked, desperate for any sort of answers at this point. 

“His gem,” Garnet guessed. “Steven did say Bill tried taking it from him in his dream once before. Though we still don’t know why he’d want it in the first place.”

“But if Steven’s gem was what Bill was after, then certainly he would have taken it while he had the boys alone, without anyone to protect them,” Ford shook his head. “And I hate to even think about it, but it would have been easy for him to do so in the Nightmare Realm. He isn’t confined to the immaterial plane there like he would be here.”

“But he didn’t take the gem,” Pearl mused worriedly. “He cracked it… If he wants it so badly, why would he damage it on purpose? It doesn’t make any sense! Then again, considering this is Cipher we’re talking about, that’s hardly surprising…”

“Ok, so let’s just say Bill doesn’t want Steven’s gem after all,” Amethyst interjected, her arms crossed as she leaned up against a wall. “Why would he mess with Stepper’s memories and then just send him back here? I mean, the guy totally hates all of us, including Steven and Dipper. If he really wanted to mess with us in just about the worst way possible, he could have-”

“We know, Amethyst,” Ford interrupted, raising a hand to stop her before she could even voice such an awful thought aloud. “We know…”

“The crack in his gem must be connected to his lost memories and sense of identity,” Garnet theorized carefully. “But a fusion forgetting they are a fusion… it’s something I’ve even heard of before. The only explanation for that I can think of could be that Stepper’s mostly human. And that the crack is no longer damaging him physically only thanks to Rose’s fountain. But his mind… his memories… are still every bit as fractured as his gem itself is…”

“So… all we gotta do is figure out a way to heal his mind then?” Amethyst proposed, hopeful. “Easy.”

“So far that’s turning out to be easier said than done based on how Stepper was acting earlier…” Pearl noted fretfully. “As far as he was apparently concerned, Steven and Dipper might as well have not even ever existed!”

“He’s got to remember them eventually,” Garnet sighed, adjusting her shades. “That could be first and the only key to solving this.”

“A-and if it isn’t?” Amethyst dared to ask. It was a question none of the others even had an answer to however, for the possibility that Stepper simply remembering who he truly was not being enough to save him, to save them, was almost just as unimaginable as him not remembering them at all. 

“Regardless, I’m still troubled by Bill’s role in all this,” Ford continued with a sigh as he sank into his seat at the desk before where the portal had once sat. “He’s an absolute sadist, sure, but I don’t think he would have cracked Stepper’s gem without a reason, especially if he considers that gem to be a prize for him to obtain eventually. He had to have an ulterior motive, something else that he wants to…” The author trailed off, his eyes growing wide as he glanced up at the small desk cabinet just in front of him. A cabinet which was currently home to something else he knew without a doubt Bill wanted to get his hands on. 

“Stanford?” Pearl inquired, concerned. 

“I-I… I think I know why Bill did this…” Ford muttered, his tone shaken as grief started to slip into it. Grief over a secret he found he could keep no longer, at least not from the Gems. Not after what the burden of that secret had apparently done to two boys he cared so deeply about. “A-a few weeks ago I decided to entrust both Dipper and Steven with the knowledge of something I haven’t told anyone else about… until now…”

The Gems exchanged a confused glance as they watched Ford unlock his desk cabinet, only to pull out something that stunned all three of them alike. “Whoa…” Amethyst’s jaw dropped at the sight of the small, contained mass of moldable space. 

“F-Ford…” Pearl gasped, shocked by its sheer radiance. 

“That’s…” Garnet trailed off, shaking her head in disbelief. 

“I-its an interdimensional rift torn in space time,” Ford explained solemnly, his grip on the rift tight and secure. “I discovered it after dismantling the portal a-and of course I immediately did my best to contain it but… it still stands as a way, however small, for Bill to get into our dimension, just as much as the portal was before it. And, well… I don’t put torturing Steven and Dipper to get information as to its whereabouts out of them past Bill, quite frankly. So-”

“So you just knew about this incredibly dangerous rift all this time, and you didn’t even think to tell us about it?!” Pearl asked hotly, Garnet and Amethyst clearly sharing her frustration right off the bat. 

“Of course, I thought about it,” Ford countered as sternly as he could, though he knew defending his decision was going to be difficult. “I just… didn’t. Obviously.”

“But you told Steven and Dipper about it!” Amethyst pointed out harshly. “You know, two kids. What did think they were gonna do to protect this dumb thing if Bill ever came after it? Yeah, I know they can both fight and fuse, but come on, man, what were you thinking?!”

“I was thinking it was the right thing to do,” Ford said, desperately trying to believe that was still true, that it still was. But considering Stepper’s current condition… he didn’t entirely think that was a conviction he’d be able to hold onto for much longer. “I-I… I just thought that the fewer knew about it, the less danger it would pose.”

“You thought wrong,” Garnet finally spoke, her tone rigid, livid. She took a sudden step forward, catching the author off guard as she grabbed him by the collar of his sweater to hoist him up out of his seat. “Because look at where we are now, Stanford. Look at what’s happened to Stepper, to Steven and Dipper! He’s cracked, broken, stuck together; he doesn’t even remember who he’s made of! By burdening those boys--our boys--with this kind of dangerous information, you forfeited their safety. By not telling us about the rift in their stead, by not trusting us like you should have, you kept us from protecting them. And in doing so, you showed how little you really care about either of them. And how selfish you really are.”

With this, Garnet shoved Ford back into his seat, leaving him stunned and speechless as she began to make her way toward the elevator with Pearl and Amethyst following right behind her. None of the Gems had anything more to say to the author, yet he still wasn’t quite done as he carefully put the rift away and began to trail after them. “W-wait,” he implored, his voice weak and weary. The Gems did stop just as the elevator opened before them, each of them sending a cold glare back his way. Ford didn’t make much of an effort to apologize, knowing that such an effort would be meaningless against what they were facing. So instead, he made a request that he knew he had no business even asking of them, especially not now. Yet for the sake of the greater good, that’s exactly what he did anyway. “I… Please, d-don’t tell anyone else about the rift. Until we figure out a way to neutralize it for good, like I said before, it’s safer, less exposed, if fewer people know about its existence…”

For what seemed like ages, the Gems didn’t respond to this plea, but in the end, Garnet simply nodded her cold affirmation to it. “Whatever,” Amethyst also agreed with a quiet scoff. “Guess your stupid secret’s safe with us.”

“Yes,” Pearl said bitterly as all three of the Gems piled into the elevator to leave the author behind. “At least then, no one else can stand to get hurt simply from knowing about it like Steven and Dipper already have…”

And indeed, they already had been, something that Ford lamented as he was left alone in the empty darkness of his lab. The boys had been hurt, damaged, forgotten, possibly even beyond the point of remembrance by the very fusion they were both a part of. And for as much as Ford would have wanted to blame Bill for all of that, at the end of the day, he knew the Gems were right; he only really had himself to blame. 

“Okey-dokey, Ste-bro,” Mabel was bright and cheery as ever the next morning as she bounded downstairs, with Stepper following a decent pace behind her. “We’re officially back on what I like to call “Memory Patrol”. I’ve got a whole day planned out that’ll get you back to remembering everything in no time. And that day starts with a delicious morning meal with all of Steven and Dipper’s favorite breakfast treats! Grunkle Stan!” 

This call was easily enough to startle Stan awake from his spot in the recliner in the living room. The book he’d checked out of the library the previous day entitled “Memory Loss: Treatment and Talking About It With Loved Ones” fell off his face as he bolted upright in alarm. “Ugh, huh…? What is it? You need somethin’, pumpkin?” he asked Mabel as she poked her head into the den. 

“Yeah! I need you to help me put together the best breakfast ever,” she grinned as she ran over to pull him out of his seat. “One that’s gonna be the trick to getting Stepper to remember everything, I just know it!”

“Wait… you mean the poor kid still doesn’t remember who he is?” Stan asked incredulously, sparing a worried glance at the aforementioned fusion as Mabel dragged him toward the kitchen. “...What the heck am I gonna tell your parents?” 

“You won’t have to tell ‘em anything ‘cause we’re fixing all of this today,” Mabel proclaimed, confident yet largely more hopeful that they would. Because if they didn’t, if they couldn’t… she couldn’t even stand to think about what would happen. “Now c’mon. Let’s get cooking!”

For his part, Stepper didn’t join the pair in the kitchen as they began prepping breakfast. Instead, he took to casually wandering around the shack, not having any real destination in mind, even as he eventually made it to the gift shop. He couldn’t help but smile a bit as he looked over the various nick-nacks and chachkies stocked up on display, though he did stop upon finding one certain shelf containing several hats, caps to be precise, much like the very one he was wearing. One of those hats in particular happened to catch his eye, one that, instead of being noticeably blank like his was, bore the prominent image of a blue pine tree upon it. Stepper picked it up, examining that pine tree with a sense of what almost felt like nostalgia, that persistent feeling of emptiness starting to spark within him once more. 

And then, another flash, this time in sound that seemed to echo from nowhere and everywhere all at once as pain flushed out from his gemstone once more. 

“Pine Tree.” “Rose Bud.”

“Pine Bud.” “Rose Tree.”

He stumbled back, the hat falling out of his grip as he pressed a hand to his head. The sharp, vibrant pain was gone but he remembered it vividly, though what had come along with it was still nothing more than a mystery covered by a mist that was far too thick for him to even try to see through. Just as so many things seemed to be for him, really. 

Stepper was startled once more, this time by the vending machine on the other side of the gift shop opening up almost like a door. As confused by that alone as he was, Stepper watched as the Gems emerged from that doorway, their expressions mutually exhausted and frustrated, for reasons the fusion could only really begin to guess. “H-hey, you guys,” he greeted the trio with a small smile. “Is everything ok?”

The Gems let out a shared, tired sigh at this as they all looked to Stepper sadly. “Eh… gotta admit, it would be a little better if you could actually remember anything about Steven and Dipper,” Amethyst admitted, catching a glare from Pearl for being so overt and tactless. “Any luck with that, dude?”

Stepper frowned, taking in the Gems’ weary manner as he wished there was actually something he could do to ease it instead of add onto it for a change. “...Would you all feel better if I said yes?”

There was another sigh, namely from Pearl and Amethyst this time as Garnet shook her head, placing a consoling hand on the fusion’s shoulder. “You don’t need to lie to appease us, Stepper,” she said, offering him a small, encouraging smile. “If nothing else, we’re just happy to have you safely back from the Nightmare Realm.”

“The Nightmare Realm…” Stepper repeated, his eyes wide with newfound curiosity. “That’s where you guys said my gem was cracked right? Could you maybe tell me more about what happened there?”

“We really… can’t, Stepper, we weren’t there…” Pearl began, though her eyes grew wide as a sudden pertinent realization struck her. “But YOU were! And if you can remember everything that you’ve been through as a fusion, then certainly you must at least still have some memories of what happened to you there!”

“B-but… I already told you, I don’t-”

“Stepper,” Garnet interjected as she placed both of her hands firmly on his shoulders, following along with Pearl’s plan. After all, in light of everything else, it was really the only thing they could possibly attempt at this point. “Listen carefully. We need you to try to remember what happened to you in the Nightmare Realm.”

“W-what?” Stepper asked, daunted by such a task. “I… can’t, I don’t even know what that place is, much less what might have happened there.”

“You do,” Garnet insisted, her grip on his shoulders tightening out of the slightest bit of desperation. “Somewhere deep in your mind, the memory of it still has to exist. And that memory might be the only way we can figure out what happened to you, to your gem, and to your memories. So please, try to think about what happened… so we can help you.”

While Stepper largely believed what the Gems were asking of him to be impossible, he was hard pressed to say no to their pleading gazes. Almost as if all of their hopes for answers rested solely on his shoulders. And really, seeing as how he was looking for many of the same answers too, he knew he at least owed it to them and to himself to at the very least make the attempt, however difficult it might be. “O-ok… I’ll try…”

Unsure of how to proceed, Stepper opted to close his eyes and take in a deep breath, blocking everything else out as he only focused on thoughts of the Nightmare Realm, a place he didn’t know, didn’t remember. And for what seemed like ages, no memories were seeming to come to him until… 

Another flash, another burst of pain, far more intense than before as his broken gemstone seemed to pulse with agony both internally and externally. And with that flash and that pain came the memory he’d been searching for, for the first time clear as crystal as it played out in beats, like a song without a melody. Like a tune his heart had forced him to forget. 

“What I want is something only you can give me, Rose Tree…”

Shield-

“W-why would you want that?”

-Journal.

“I just wanna see you lose your prized, precious weapon for good."

Shield-

“Sounds like a small price to pay to see your friends and family again and NOT die a slow, painful death in a literal nightmare dimension, dontcha think?”

-Journal.

“I'd rather lose that book forever then lose you forever…"

Shield-

“That's it, right? Nothing more along with it? No strings attached?”

-Journal.

“None at all, Rose Tree! You’ll be home before you know it.”

Shield-

“But… if all I stand to lose is my shield journal for a chance to go home and get as far away from you as possible, then… I’ll take it…”

-Journal.

“I knew we'd be able to work something out, Pine Bud. Now… pay up."

And he did. He paid the price for his return. A price that cost him far more than he ever could have imagined…

“My shield journal!” Stepper gasped, practically falling onto the floor as he was forced out of that horrific memory. Garnet caught him just in time to keep him steady, but even so, the fusion was trembling, the cracks across his stomach expanding even more, just as they had last night, though he was really the only one to notice. “M-my journal…” he repeated, his eyes wide with panic as he continued reeling from what he’d just seen. “I-it’s gone…”

“What?!” Pearl and Amethyst exclaimed in baffled unison. 

“But… how? Can’t you just summon it like you always do?” Amethyst asked incredulously. 

“N-no, I… I don’t have it anymore,” Stepper explained hectically as Garnet helped him stand properly once more. “I gave it away to some… triangle guy. H-he only had one eye and he-”

“B-Bill…” Pearl interrupted, terror and disdain mingling in her tone. “You… you gave your weapon away to Bill?”

“That was Bill?” Stepper asked, still largely unfamiliar with the being his memories had shown him. “But… he said he’d help me get home if I gave him my journal, and… I am home, right? So… he did what he said.”

“No, he didn’t,” Ford suddenly broke into the conversation that he’d been listening in on from the other side of the vending machine door. As he emerged from it, the Gems all offered him brief, bitter glances, though he didn’t speak to any of them as he kept his focus on Stepper, hoping to at least try to set right all of the things he’d done wrong. “Bill lied to you, Stepper, just like he lies to everyone. He may have somehow gotten you back to this dimension, but by taking your shield journal away from you, I fear he might have stripped you of your very identity in the process.”

“My identity…?” Stepper asked, confused. “Uh… how? It’s just a book, right?”

“...Stepper, tell me, what do you remember when it comes to your shield journal?”

“Uh… well, I know how to make shields using it… and… um…”

“Do you happen to remember what’s actually on the pages of that journal?” Ford pressed, though unfortunately, Stepper had no answer other than a small shake of his head. “Just as I feared… Stepper, your shield journal is very unique when it comes to other fusion weapons. Based on what I was able to study of it before, it’s pages are composed entirely of information about you, or rather, about who you’re made of. Half of it is about Steven, while the other half is about Dipper. I have reason to believe it’s tied not just to your gem, but your mind, your very existence as a fusion.”

“But I’m not-”

“I don’t know how we didn’t think of this before…” Ford interrupted, still intent on his developing theory as he delivered his final, grim verdict. “Don’t you all see? That journal tells the complete story of who Steven and Dipper are on their own, and joining those stories together makes them Stepper. So when Bill took the journal away from him, he also took away all those stories, every ounce of knowledge Stepper once had of either of his component halves. He didn’t just take away Stepper’s memories of Steven and Dipper. He took away their very identities altogether.”

This information hit all three of the Gems hard, each of them stunned into silence as they tried to make sense of such a horrific thought. The thought that Steven and Dipper were far more lost than they ever could have realized. 

“His gem,” Garnet spoke first, her tone tight and barely restraining the tranquil fury she was feeling. “That’s why it’s still cracked. The fountain may have healed the worst of it, but it couldn’t restore what he’s lost. Without that journal, without Steven and Dipper… Stepper is incomplete.”

“I-Incomplete?” Stepper interjected, alarmed by the very implication. 

“That’s bound to be what’s keeping him from unfusing too…” Ford noted gravely. “There’s nothing left for him to unfuse into.”

“But I already told you all,” Stepper attempted to speak up. “I can’t-”

“But,” Ford cut him off as he began running with another, much more hopefully theory. “If we were to get his journal back to him, then there’s reason to believe that might be enough to restore his knowledge of his halves, fix his gem, and help him unfuse all in one fell swoop.”

“Whoa, hold on-” Stepper tried to break into the conversation once again, but by this point he’d all but been forced out of it entirely. 

“So what?” Amethyst asked. “Are we just supposed to take a trip into the Nightmare Realm and beat the bricks outta Bill until he hands the book back over to us?”

Ford sighed, far from keen on the idea of venturing back to a place he had such awful memories of, even if he knew such a trip was extremely necessary now. “At this point, I’m not sure what other options we have…”

“B-but… how would we even get to the Nightmare Realm?” Pearl asked, daunted by the very thought of facing off against Bill in his domain. “The portal’s gone, a-and that rift…”

“We can’t risk that,” Ford quickly shot the idea down. “But we could always use the rift’s energy signature to lock onto the Nightmare Realm’s location… All we’d really need to get there is a makeshift wormhole stabilizer to create a temporary portal that would be up just long enough to get us in and out of Nightmare Realm, a few hours in our time at the very most.”

“Well… that shouldn’t be completely out of the question…” Pearl mused. “After all, we did send Peridot and Lapis back to the barn to salvage whatever materials they could from the drill, right, Garnet?”

The Gem leader nodded, her future vision, even as spotty as it had been during this entire situation, thankfully proving serviceable and spot-on in this instance. “I knew doing that would come in handy.”

“W-wait, can we just… slow down for a minute?” Stepper asked, taking a step forward in the hope that he wouldn’t go unnoticed this time. “Didn’t you say this Bill guy is really dangerous? If that’s true, then why would you want to go and pick a fight with him?”

“Uh, weren’t you listening, dude?” Amethyst asked, hands on her hips. “We gotta get your journal back!”

“That’s right,” Ford nodded, resolved. “It might be the only way for us to help you, Stepper.”

“Help me?” Stepper asked with a small scoff. “How would any of you risking your lives help me?!”

“It could help you remember who you are,” Garnet explained evenly, even though she was the first to pick up on the fusion’s rising frustration. “Who you’re supposed to be.”

As the Gem leader reached out a hand to place on his shoulder, Stepper harshly pulled himself out of her reach. “I am who I’m supposed to be!” he protested hotly. “That’s what I keep trying to tell everyone, but none of you will listen to me!”

“S-Stepper, please, don’t get upset,” Pearl said cautiously. “We know you don’t remember who Steven and Dipper are right now, but if you did, then you’d understand that they’re what makes you you.”

“No, they’re not!” Stepper countered, all four of his hands in tight fists. “How many times do I have to tell you? I am not a fusion! I’m especially not a fusion of two people I don’t even know!”

“Uh, yeah, you are,” Amethyst argued with a scowl.

“I’m not!” Stepper retorted bitterly. “Do any of you realize just how unfair all this is to me?! You all are asking me to be someone I know I’m not! Someone I can’t be because the only thing I know how to be is myself!”

“Stepper, that’s enough,” Garnet said, her tone as cold as ice. “You’re being irrational. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I don’t think you know what you’re saying!” Stepper accused, absolutely livid by this point. He knew he was going too far, he knew the ground he was standing on was shaky at best, but he couldn’t help it, he wouldn’t stop. He was tired of being silenced and refused to let his own voice go unheard any longer. “Even if I ever was a fusion, which I’m not, I don’t know who Steven and Dipper are! And I won’t let you all sacrifice yourselves just so you can force me to become who you think I should be! Why won’t any of you just let me have a say in what happens to me?!”

“Because, Stepper, you just… don’t understand,” Ford shook his head dismissively. “You don’t have the complete picture, you don’t know-”

“I know plenty,” Stepper hissed intensely. “I know who I am. I know who I want to be. I may not have a lot of memories right now, but I want to make more! I want to see so many things, I want to do so much, I want to become someone on my own. I-I don’t want to be Dipper or Steven or whoever else you keep trying to tell me I am. I want to be Stepper. I want to be me.”

“Stepper, you can’t stay like this,” Garnet insisted, her tone severe and stern. “You’re cracked, damaged, in gem, body, and mind. You will never be whole as long as you exist as you are now.”

“You’re wrong!” Stepper shouted, furious as he felt like the others were all backing him into a corner. A corner he would not let them trap him into, not anymore. “I can be whole, I am whole! Why can’t any of you just see that?! Oh, I know, it’s because you’re all so obsessed with Dipper and Steven, whoever they are, to the point that I don’t even matter, right?!”

“Don’t be absurd,” Pearl chastised, though her voice was trembling even as she said it. “You do matter to all of us, Stepper, but-”

“But only because you think I’m them,” Stepper surmised crossly, glaring away from all of them. “Well, I’m only going to say this one more time: I am not them. And even if there’s a chance I ever was them, I’m not going back to being them, ever! I’m staying just like I am, and if that means Steven and Dipper are gone, then… then I guess they’re just gone! For good!”

Before any of the others could even try to argue with this, the sudden clamor of shattering glass abruptly cut through the tension of the room. Everyone was quick to turn to the gift shop entrance, only to find Mabel standing in the threshold, the spilled remains of the now broken breakfast plate she’d dropped on the floor lying at her feet. Yet even so, her sights were set on Stepper and Stepper alone, tears brimming in her eyes as even more continued to fall over everything she’d just heard. Her grief-stricken expression alone struck Stepper with more guilt and remorse than he could have ever thought possible, especially since he knew there was no way he could take back what Mabel had just overheard now. Even if he actually wanted to. 

Even so, Mabel didn’t say a single word, instead choking out a heavy, sorrowful sob as she turned and ran, rushing down the hall to get as far away from the fusion as possible. Stepper gasped, making an instinctual move to hurry after her, though he stopped short before he could even leave the gift shop upon noticing all of the other sets of eyes watching him all the while. By all accounts, Ford seemed completely shellshocked, Amethyst sharing the same speechless sentiment. Garnet’s mouth was pressed into a tight, thin, clearly angry line, while Pearl clung onto her arm, her own mouth covered to suppress a mournful sob to match the tears streaming down her cheeks. Stepper tensed, unsure of what to say to any of them at a moment like this. Because really, he’d already said more than enough by now. 

So instead, he did largely the same thing Mabel already had and retreated, pressing past the group as he ran out of the shack entirely. He had no idea if any of them tried to stop him, and he largely didn’t care. He just needed to go, to escape, to get away from all of the expectations, all of the pressure, all of the guilt he couldn’t bear to shoulder any longer. 

He found himself heading up the hill toward the temple, not on purpose, but out of a simple desire to be alone. He had thought to go after Mabel, though he had a high suspicion that she was just about the last person he’d probably want to see right now. So instead, he went off on his own, his thoughts constantly washing over each other like waves lapping onto a shore. As much as his guilt still overwhelmed him, so too did plenty of other emotions: confusion, sadness, concern, exhaustion, but above all else, there was conflict. A sense of uncertainty that plagued him almost constantly now as he continued to wonder what came next. Or rather, what might become of him. 

He wasn’t a fusion, he wasn’t Steven or Dipper. He knew that. He was certain of that. And yet… that certainty still left so many gaps in who he actually was compared to who he wasn’t. He knew he was Stepper… and that was about it. An undeformed identity that he wanted to claim as his own, even if he didn’t know how. A life that he wanted to lead, even if he couldn’t see where that life might be going. Someone who he wanted to be, even if no one else wanted him to be that. 

The mid-morning sun was crisp and warm as it shined upon his face, yet even in its radiance he felt strangely cold. Empty. Incomplete, just as they’d called him before. Something was wrong, something was missing, he knew that. He just didn’t know exactly what that something actually was. And amidst that conflict, amidst all of the countless thoughts washing up onto the shore of his unsettled mind, he strangely found himself compelled to voice those thoughts in a way that felt undoubtedly familiar, even if he had no memory of doing so before. Still, he sang anyway, his mind aching and his heart breaking with each and every word of his melancholy tune.

“I’m someone, I’m no one, I’m me,” he began, his voice smooth yet sad as he strolled up the hill ahead of him. “I don’t know who I’m supposed to be… They want me to give up myself, and then just become someone else…”

He let out a small, bitter sigh at this, the arguments Ford and the Gems had put forth stinging him even still. Even so, he couldn't help but feel some form of sympathy for their plight. Whoever Steven and Dipper actually were, Stepper could tell they were important to the others based on how adamant everyone was about getting them back. Certainly, if anyone he cared about that much had been ripped away from him, he would have likely felt the exact same way as they did. Though perhaps not to the extent of forcing someone else to become someone they weren’t. 

“I wish that I knew them, I do.” And it was true. He would have loved to know who those boys actually were, perhaps even befriended them based on how highly everyone seemed to think of them. Even if he felt like he barely knew a single thing about either of them. “They’re sorry they lost them, me too. But someone else is to blame, for memories that I still can’t claim.”

Memories of people, of places, of events he hadn’t been a part of, of things he had no context for. People like Greg and Pacifica and Lapis, all of whom seemed quite nice, but he didn’t know, or at least he hadn’t until now. Places like the Nightmare Realm, of what happened there, something that, even for as filled with as many holes as it was, what holes had been filled shook him to his very core with fear. Events that Mabel tried telling him about, weaving together into a grand, epic story he wasn’t a character in, but he wanted to be, he strived to be. And yet, no one else seemed to want that along with him. 

“I’m no one that they want around.” By now, all four of his arms were wrapped around him in a loose hug as he continued to approach the temple, knowing he’d find some much-needed solitude there. “They’re someone I still haven’t found. I’m me but I’m not what they need. ‘I’m them’ but I’m not sure I agree.”

He entered the house, his song still spilling out of him as he stepped into its quiet atmosphere, bereft of any of the Gems as they remained down at the house. Unsure of what else to do there, he climbed onto the loft, finding a small bedroom setup there, decorated with plenty of personality to spare. What caught his eye however, was the collection of photographs resting above the bed, each of them framed as they depicted several faces Stepper recognized, from the Gems, to Mabel, to Connie, and then of course, there was Steven and Dipper, just like they were in the photograph he pulled out of his vest to compare. Their smiles still bright, their eyes brimming with life, their identities a complete and utter mystery to him, just as they’d always been from the very start. 

“I want to be someone, but I can’t keep pretending to try,” He continued examining that photograph as he laid out on the bed before him, one that, just like the one he’d slept on last night, was far too small for him to fully fit on. “That their pieces fit into mine. Pieces I’m trying to find.”

He sighed in resignation, his sorrowful song starting to come to an end as he laid that photograph on his chest and closed his eyes in contemplative reflection. Reflection over an identity that still evaded him, a mystery he still hadn’t solved and likely never would. 

“I don’t know who I’m supposed to be-”

“So I’m someone, I’m no one…”

“I’m me…”

He opened his eyes, letting out another solemn sigh as he did. He held the photo up again, staring at the boys depicted in it almost as if they were his own reflection. And if what everyone else kept saying was actually true, then they might as well have been. “...What am I going to do…?” he whispered to the picture, even though he knew it couldn’t possibly give him the answers he was seeking. 

And yet, that didn’t mean something else couldn’t. Stepper gasped in alarm, bolting upright on the bed as his gem, even as fractured and dull as it currently was, suddenly began to gently glow. That same glow overtook the large, star-bearing door on the far side of the house, and in an instant, that door slid open to reveal whatever lay beyond it. Confused, Stepper climbed down the loft, taking in first glimpses he got of the strangely pink expanse on the other side of the door, one that he couldn't help but step through to get a better look. 

“H-hello? Is anyone in here?” he called as he emerged into what looked like an endless forest, though by far the strangest one he’d ever seen. The trees towered far beyond what he could see, creating a canopy of leaves that were all inexplicably pink, just as much as the trunks of those trees and the almost cloudlike ground at his feet were. The entire wood was dead silent, yet mystically calm and peaceful, coming across as some sort of safe haven he couldn’t help but step further into, not even noticing as the temple gate sealed itself shut before disappearing entirely behind him. 

For a while, he simply walked around aimlessly, weaving between the towering trees as he listened to that void of silence echo all around him. Yet even still, that silence gave him no reprieve from his endless torrent of raging thoughts, each of which consumed him, taunted him, tore away at him to the point that he could see no semblance of peace, not even here, away from it all. 

He shook his head, glancing down at the photograph in his hand once more. And as he did, he couldn’t help but wonder what those boys were really like. Who they really were to begin with. Because maybe if he knew them, then perhaps he’d finally understand exactly why everyone was striving and struggling to get them back in the first place. “...I just wish I could actually meet both of you…” he muttered despondent as he began to put the picture away. 

Yet as he did, the pastel pink clouds at his feet suddenly began to shift, several of them swirling in from between the trees to take some sort of shape before him. Or rather, two shapes, each becoming more and more distinct with each passing second until they took on the fully-formed, fully-colored appearance of two boys: one with dark curly hair and a pink shirt bearing a large star and the other clad in a pine tree cap and a dark blue vest. 

Stepper gasped, stunned as he took a small step back from the pair, even as they both opened their eyes and offered him mutually friendly smiles and a unified warm greeting. “Hi, Stepper!”

At first, Stepper had no idea what to say as he looked between the two boys standing before him, the photograph he had of them finally slipping out of his hand entirely as he somehow managed to speak to them. “S-Steven? D-Dipper?” 

“Yeah!” Steven chimed, his tone bright and warm. “Who else would we be?”

“Are you ok, Stepper?” Dipper asked, his smile less wide but still apparent as he raised a curious eyebrow. 

Stepper shook his head, running a hand through his hair as he leaned up against the nearest tree. “I… I can’t believe it…” he whispered. “You’re… both actually here…”

“Yeah, we are!” Steven chuckled, as if what Stepper had just said was the funniest thing in the entire world.

“Why wouldn’t we be here?” Dipper asked, his hands in the pockets of his vest. “You wanted to see us, after all.”

“R-right…” Stepper nodded weakly, though he was quickly reinvigorated by a newfound idea. “Wait… you’re here. You… you aren’t gone! I-I could take you both back and I could finally show everyone that I’m me and not you!” Without any warning, Stepper grabbed both boys by the arm and began to drag them along through the woods. “C’mon! They’ll all be so glad to see you again, especially Mabel. She-”

Stepper froze as the boys’ hands fell out of his grip simultaneously. And at the same time, another flash, pain sparking from his gem, all throughout him as his thoughts went wild, rampant with things he had once said, with senseless sentences he didn’t understand. 

“We could do this--we could win this!” “I’m sorry!” “Maybe you should just break things off with me…” “I don’t want to break away from you!” “You mean so much to me!” 

“You stayed with me… so I’m staying with you…”

Once again, it was over far too quickly. There were pink cracks spreading to his lower hands now, but he hardly noticed them as he turned to see the boys standing behind him, both of their bodies glitching out even as they retained their upbeat smiles. “W-what?” Stepper reached toward them both, only for his hands to pass right through them as immaterial as they both currently were. With a gasp, he pulled away, and sure enough, both boys finally stabilizing as if nothing had even happened, to give him another refrain of their first hello. “Hi, Stepper!”

“Y-you… you’re not… real… are you?” Stepper guessed, his heart sinking as he already figured out the answer. 

“Uh… of course, we’re real,” Dipper said, apparently confused. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“Yeah, we’re you, remember?” Steven asked, still wearing that constant knowing smile. 

“N-no,” Stepper began, his voice shaking as he collapsed against the tree once more. His upper hands were pressed tightly into his hair, his mind and heart both raging against each other in a storm, a hurricane he had absolutely no control over. “No, I don’t remember. I don’t remember you, I don’t remember being you!” With a heavy, agonized sob, he fell to his knees, to the soft, cloudy “ground” below him, his lower hands covering his face as he wept miserably. “I… I’m not you… I’m NOT… I’m… I…” His tears fell onto all four of his hands as he held them out to look at them mournfully, scornfully really. “I don’t know who I am… I don’t even know what I am...”

For what seemed like ages, the only thing that could be heard echoing through the pink trees was the sound of Stepper’s continued sobs, each one wracked with despair over an identity he’d never get to have, over the life he knew he’d never lead. When those sobs were finally interrupted however, Steven was the first one to do it. “We know what you are…” he said, his voice soft as he took one of Stepper’s hands and held onto it gently. 

“You’re our fusion,” Dipper added as he grabbed another hand. 

“You are us…” Steven agreed just as affirmatively. 

“No…” Stepper whimpered as he averted the pair’s intent gaze. “I… I’m not, I… I can’t be, I don’t even know who either of you are, I’m not-”

“Stepper,” Dipper spoke up as his grip on Stepper’s hand tightened. “Look at us. You may not remember us, but… deep down, I think you do know the truth.”

“Don’t you see?” Steven whispered warmly as he lifted his shirt up a bit. And there, resting squarely on his stomach, was the exact same pink gemstone that was sitting on Stepper’s own. “We’re the same. We are you. And you’re us.”

“I-I… I’m your fusion…” Stepper repeated with a dawning sense of realization as he looked at Steven’s gemstone. As he looked at Dipper’s clothes. As he looked at both of their faces and finally took note at just how similar both of them looked to his own. As he finally figured out that he wasn’t his own person at all. He never had been, not even for a single second. “A-and that’s all I am…” his sobs were softer now, still sad, but largely resigned to this fact. To the loss of any hope he might have once had that he could have been something more. “That’s all I’ve ever been… Only a fusion… all this time…”

“Only a fusion?” Dipper asked, incredulous. “You’re way more than just a fusion!”

“That’s right!” Steven readily agreed. “Whether we’re fused or not, you’re a part of us, Stepper. A very special part of us!”

“Yeah, you’re like… the living embodiment of our friendship,” Dipper explained as both him and Steven took a step closer to their fusion. 

“You represent the bond between us,” Steven added kindly. “And that’s not nothing. It’s something so important to both of us! It’s what makes you who you are!”

“B-But… I don’t even remember that bond…” Stepper muttered, tears still in his eyes as he shook his head remorsefully. “I don’t remember your friendship, I… I don’t remember either of you… I-I… I feel like I barely even remember me…”

“You will,” Dipper assured with a confident smile. “And don’t worry about what happens after you do. Because as long as we exist, then so will you.”

Stepper sighed, his tears finally stilling themselves as he suddenly pulled both Dipper and Steven close in a much-needed hug, one that they gently returned. Because even if neither of them were actually real, this had been all of the proof he needed to know that they once had been. That they could be real again. “And as long as I exist,” he promised, knowing that wherever the real Dipper and Steven were, whether locked tight away inside his mind or somewhere else entirely, they’d hear his newfound vow somehow. “Then you will too.” 

And then they were gone, dissipated into the very clouds they had both been composed of, nothing more than an empty memory he didn’t have. A memory that he at last knew was actually his, a memory he knew he had to reclaim. A memory he was going to reclaim.

Even if he had to rip his shield journal out of Bill Cipher’s hands himself. 

He found Mabel in the woods, not too far away from the Mystery Shack. She sat against a wide tree, her legs and her face both buried into her sweater as she wrapped her arms around herself tightly. Stepper knew she’d been out there for a few hours, at least, and even still, she was inconsolable, understandably so after the horrible things he’d said earlier. Still, he was resolved to set this wrong right first, in the hopes that it would be the start of fixing many more on the difficult road ahead. 

“M-Mabel?” he began, carefully taking a seat on the ground next to her. She didn’t even bother to look up at him as she instead pulled her sweater tighter around herself, hoping to block him out even more than she already had. Yet even so, he was determined to reach her all the same. “I… I’m sorry…” he said with a remorseful sigh. “What I said before, I… I wasn’t thinking, I-” He cut himself off, realizing just how insufficient his apology was really proving to be as Mabel showed no signs of responding to it. So instead, he opted to go in an entirely different direction instead. “Mabel, can… can you tell me more about them?” 

Caught off guard by this question, Mabel finally glanced up, tears streaking down her cheeks as she looked to him curiously. “A-about who?” she asked softly, sadly. 

“Dipper and Steven,” he answered, managing a small smile as he said their names. “You’ve already told me so much about who they know and what they’ve done, but… I still don’t feel like I really know much about who they are. So…?”

“Y-you want to hear about them?” Mabel sniffled, wiping away a few of her tears on the sleeve of her sweater. “Really?” Stepper nodded, his smile widening just a bit as he urged her onward. And so she gave him what he asked for in the best way she knew how. “W-well… Steven is… h-he’s just about the nicest person you could ever meet. He’s friendly and helpful and so much fun. He likes Crying Breakfast Friends and Ducktective and donuts and Lion and… he always helps people whenever they need it, no matter who they are.”

“He sounds like a pretty great person to know,” Stepper mused fondly. 

“Yeah…” Mabel glanced away, her cheeks warm with an affectionate blush as she thought of the young Gem. “He is… He’s… one of my best friends… I kind of wish he was maybe a bit more than that, but… that’s fine… we’re fine...” 

“What do you mean?” Stepper asked, confused. 

“N-nothing, it’s nothing,” Mabel shook her head with a small, wistful sigh. A sigh over what she knew could never be ever if they did manage to get Steven back. “Still, Steven is… well, he’s a real gem. Get it?”

“Yeah,” Stepper chuckled. “I think I do. So what about Dipper then?”

Mabel’s smile faded into returning grief at this. “Dipper…” she whispered, her tears coming back in full force as she suppressed a mournful sob over the brother she’d lost. 

“You said he’s your brother… right?” Stepper asked, hesitantly. 

Mabel nodded, holding back her tears to at the very least honor him by telling his story. “H-he’s my twin,” she corrected quietly. “My one and only bro-bro, the best one I could ever ask for… He’s a total nerd, but he’s brave, great with a sword, and he’s stubborn, oh gosh, is he stubborn! He’s probably the smartest person I know, or at least I think he is, and that’s saying something since I know people like Grunkle Ford and Pearl and Peri. But most of all… I know that no matter what… Dipper’s always there for me. He’s always got my back. Dipper and Steven both do… I-I… I miss them…”

Mabel finally broke down into another heartbroken sob, pulling her knees close to her chest in a renewed hug as she fruitlessly tried to chase that heartbreak away. And while Stepper wanted to comfort her with a secure embrace of his own, he decided to offer her another form of comfort instead. “I… I want to remember them…” he admitted, his voice soft, barely even a whisper as he said it. 

“W-what…?” Mabel asked, not sure if she’d heard him right. 

“I want to remember them,” Stepper said again, his tone firmer this time. “I want to be them again. For you, for them, a-and for me.”

“But, S-Stepper, I… I thought you wanted to be… you know… just you,” Mabel pointed out, briefly glancing away from the fusion. 

“I do,” Stepper confirmed with a warm, confident smile. “And Steven and Dipper, well… they’re who I am. So as long as they’re together, then… I’ll always be me. Right?”

Mabel nodded, choking on a small, yet happy whimper this time as she leapt at the fusion, pulling him into a tight, grateful hug. “Thank you, Ste-bro,” she whispered, practically dreaming of the moment she’d get to see Dipper and Steven as they truly were once more. 

Stepper smiled, easily returning her embrace as he solidified his resolve. He would do whatever he had to to keep that genuine smile on Mabel’s face. He would do whatever he had to go back to being who he had always been meant to be. “You’re wel-!” Stepper cut himself off with a gasp that bordered more on a scream, a sharp wave of sudden agony overtook his entire form. And this time, it was no mere flash, it was a torrent, a flood that overwhelmed his ever sense as pain flushed out from his gem to every single fiber of his being it seemed. 

“Stepper!” Mabel cried, terrified as the fusion suddenly collapsed out of her arms onto the forest floor. His body seized up with yet another burst of unbearable anguish, the cracks that had once only surrounded his stomach expanding their reach to the rest of his body as his vibrant pink eyes flashed brightly, erratically. His gemstone also flashed, dangerously so as even more color seemed to drain from it, as his face grew pale and beleaguered by the intense, yet strangely familiar anguish he had found himself engulfed in completely out of nowhere. “Stepper, w-what’s going on?! What’s wrong?!” Mabel asked, gripping one of his arms tightly as he wrapped them around himself. 

“I-I… I don’t know…” Stepper breathed tensely, another paid groan escaping him as his gem shot another burst of agony through him. “I-it… it won’t stop…”

Needless to say Mabel was panicking every bit as much as Stepper himself was, but even so she knew there wasn’t any time to waste. “C-come on,” she urged, slowly and carefully helping him properly sit up. “We gotta get you back to the shack.” Stepper didn’t argue, largely because he couldn’t as burdened by his lingering pain as he was. It was an immense struggle for him to even stand, but with a bit of doing he managed it, largely leaning against Mabel for support as they both began to inch their way back toward the shack, both of them awash in fear and dread for whatever could possibly befall the already tormented fusion next. 

“Is it finished yet?” Lapis asked impatiently as she continued pacing around the author’s room. Garnet, Amethyst, and Stan also stood by, anxiously watching as Ford, Pearl, and Peridot continued tinkering away at their latest invention. An invention that could, if all went right, get them to the Nightmare Realm and back with an all-too-important journal in hand. 

“It’s almost there…” Peridot noted as she checked over the readings on her tablet once more. “It seems as though we’ve locked onto the exact location of Cipher’s dimension after all. Where exactly did you get these coordinates from, Stanford?”

Ford flinched at this, looking to Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, who only glared away from him bitterly in response. “Uh… l-lucky guess,” he answered quickly, falsely. “Now, let’s review the plan. Peridot’s going to stay behind to monitor the machine in case anything goes awry. Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and I will venture through our temporary displacement portal into the Nightmare Realm and-”

“Not without me, you’re not,” Lapis interrupted rigidly. “I’m not about to stay behind and let that Cipher guy get away with what he did to Dipper and Steven. He’s going to pay, I’ll make sure of that.”

The others all looked to Lapis in sligh concern at such a vicious threat, though it wasn’t really one any of them could argue with. After all Bill had done, there was no denying they all wanted to see him finally be brought to justice too. “V-very well then,” Ford nodded. “Then myself, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Lapis will-”

“I’m coming too,” Stan suddenly spoke up, his expression solid and resolved as he stepped forward. 

“Stanley, no, you can’t-”

“Can it, Ford,” Stan cut his brother off with a scowl. “Dipper’s my nephew too, you know. And neither him or Steven deserved what that creep did to ‘em. So I’m with frills here,” he nodded over to Lapis. “Let’s make this guy wish he’d never messed with our boys.”

“Yeah! Let’s get him!” Amethyst cheered in uproarious support. 

Garnet and Pearl also nodded their consent, leaving Ford with no choice but to agree. “Fine,” he said, stepping away from the now-finished machine. “I think it’s ready. But we still need to-”

“Help!” Mabel’s urgent cry rang through the shack, catching everyone’s attention instantly. “Please! I-it’s Stepper! Something’s wrong with-” Before she could even finish, the Gems were all already at the door she’d barely managed to pull Stepper in through before the fusion completely collapsed in pain, far too weak and worn to keep himself upright anymore. 

“W-what’s wrong with them?!” Lapis asked in apt alarm as Garnet rushed in to lift the languishing fusion into her arms. “What happened?!”

“I-I don’t know!” Mabel shook her head fearfully. “He was fine one second and then-”

“T-the cracks on his skin are back…” Pearl noted anxiously. “Could that mean his gem’s condition is getting… worse somehow?”

“Uh, his gem still looks like it did before,” Amethyst noted worriedly. “Ya know, aside from the whole flashing thing. T-that’s pretty new.”

“A-and concerning…” Peridot agreed with a fretful frown. 

“It’s not his gem,” Garnet theorized as she properly picked Stepper, who was largely out of it by this point, up. “It must be his memories.”

“His shield journal!” Ford interjected as him and Stan joined the group that was already making their way back to the author’s room. “I’ll bet anything that Bill’s probably doing something to it even as we speak. I hate to even think about it, but for all we know he could be… damaging it, and who knows what that might be doing to Stepper in turn.”

“Then that means there’s no time to waste,” Garnet said as she began to set Stepper’s listless form on the nearby couch. “We’ve got to go get that journal back now, before it’s too late. Peridot, open the portal up.”

“B-but we haven’t even had time to test it yet!” Peridot protested apprehensively as she lingered near the machine’s controls. 

“Who cares?!” Lapis shot back. “Dipper and Steven’s lives could be at stake! We’ve just gotta risk it!”

“Y-yeah!” Mabel agreed as she stayed close to Stepper’s side. “W-we’ve gotta go get his journal! We have to help him remember! He wants to remember now, r-right, Stepper?”

At this, Stepper opened his eyes, still dully glowing pink as he forced himself to sit up, even though his body protested with pain that still refused to go away. “Y-yes…” he said, his voice rough and tired, yet somehow firm and determined all the same. “I-I… need to remember them… I need my journal back…” He was shaking as he stood, though as he nearly fell one more, Garnet barely managed to catch him and hold him upright just in time. “W-we have to go… I… I have to go…”

“No, absolutely not,” Ford resiliently rejected the fusion’s resolve. “That’s completely out of the question, Stepper. You can’t possibly go back to the Nightmare Realm after what Bill-”

“I-it’s my journal,” Stepper protested, refusing to wait on the sidelines any longer. “Those are my memories… D-Dipper and Steven are me… a-and I’m going to get all of them back… n-no matter what happens…”

“That’s right,” Mabel solidly agreed, grabbing one of Stepper’s lower hands in complete support for this mission. “And this time, I’ve got your back, Ste-bro.”

Stepper offered her a thankful smile at this, though even so, the pair was still met with resistance from the others. “Kids, we appreciate your bravery, but this is far too dangerous for you,” Pearl shook her head. “You both need to stay here with Peridot where it’s safe. We’ll be back with the journal before you know it.”

“But-”

“No,” Garnet cut both of them off as she went to join the others near the machine. “You’re both staying here. That’s final.”

Neither Stepper nor Mabel had time to argue as Peridot flipped the switch on the machine, a bright light sparking around its central hub. From that light, a portal was quick to open up, bright and vibrant even as it connected to the dreadful place they all knew that had to go: the Nightmare Realm. “Is everyone ready?” Ford asked the others, all of whom had either taken up or summoned their weapons for whatever fray laid before them. “Good. Then let’s go.”

Knowing the portal would only remain open for a short window of time, the group marched onward into it, all six of them unflinchingly ready to face the dream demon and retake what he had stolen. However, as the last of them passed through the portal, Stepper and Mabel exchanged a brief nod, both of them prepared to act on the exact same idea as they ran forward toward the portal as it began to close. 

“W-wait!” Peridot shouted the moment she realized what the pair was doing, but by then it was too late. 

Because just before the portal could disappear out of existence entirely, Stepper and Mabel both leapt through it together, disregarding any sort of orders the adults had given them. They were going to face the Nightmare Realm, to face Bill Cipher himself, no matter how daunting or dangerous such a struggle might become. 

And as far as Stepper was concerned, he wasn’t about to come back until he had finally remembered exactly who he was supposed to be. 

To be continued...

Next: 

[miss-bvnny]

@gosalynmallardlockdown​ tagged me to talk about 10 favs from 10 different fandoms and while I don’t...EXACTLY participate in a whole lotta fandom stuff this is a chance to rant about my babys so guess what mother trucker!!!! Gonna try and pull out a few ‘’Unexpected’’ ones that I don’t usually rant about!!!

Captain Holly (WSD 2018) - Okay so I’m Big Nasty into WSD as most of yall know. I’ve read the book, seen the movie, seen the 90s kids series, and now the 2018 version. And like...it’s HARD to pick a favorite iteration among all of them. Like of course the book is king above all and I love EACH for their own strengths but like...2018 Holly hits different. Seeing them do just THAT much more with his character and really make him POP in some very unexpected ways was refreshing and interesting. I know we all talk about how Blackavar’s death in the movie was out of nowhere and really sad AND IT WAS, but like...Holly dying in front of Hyzenthlay??? After admitting he loves her????? Nah man that hits too different.

Kylo Ren (Star Wars) - Yknow considering how hard they fucked up his character in 8 and 9, and also considering my refusal to acknowledge TROS, he’s kind of a hard one to defend, but....Yeah. Sometimes we just love villains, ladies. TBH tho I think this one comes mostly from how I’ve written a LOT for Ren in the past, especially during Quarantine this year. I kinda...got attached to him through writing for him, if that makes sense??? Like I KNOW he’s kind of weak as far as SW villains go but He’s Still My Boy. But yeah I lvoe Ren pry him from my hands and also in an ideal SW canon he would have been able to do a Battouga end of lecture Alexa play Zero by Imaigne Dragons.

Walter Beckett (Spies in Disguise)- Hey remember when a Funnee movie about a talking Will Smith Pigeon did better than SW and Cats??? Walter is....such a great character. I think he’s my favorite Tom Holland character (This is not a diss on Spiderman, don't read it that way) I love the idea that a character who’s still grieving and healing from his mother’s death was so affected by her being killed in the line of action that it inspires him to invent non violent ways to fight crime is...so sweet. He’s kinda like Varian from TBEA in a sort of ‘’adorable inventor boy’’ niche??? IDK hes my son dont be mean to him.

Rabbit (Winnie the Pooh) - Yall ever seen the New Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh??? Yall ever seen the Find Her Keep Her episode?? I dont think I need to say more. I know not a lot of people like Rabbit because he’s the cranky and slightly mean impatient grouch but like...Find Her Keep Her changed me.

Master Shifu (Kung Fu Panda) - I! Love! Emotionally! Constipated! Old! Men! I love those....hardened by trauma but still loving and kind beneath a strict exterior characters. Show me a character who is perceived as unbreakable, and then show me something can break them, and I WILL love them. Kung Fu Panda as a series is a hidden gem in Dreamworks history and it has a lot of really deep moments in it that really touch me, and seeing the flashback with Tai Lung’s backstory always gets me.

Judge Claude Frollo (HBOND)- Yeah. Yeah. Controversial one in this day and age, huh? Look, I....have a really serious attachment to him. First of all, in an age where every other Disney villain just wanted money or power, his motives were...a welcome and also really fucked up change of pace. I respect that. Secondly...ten years ago this month I met someone so important because we were both a couple of scene girls on Deviantart hyperfixating on him. If anything had changed in him, if he had been just a LITTLE different, or if he hadn’t happened at all...I might not have met them. And I think that terrifies me more than anything. So yeah, REALLY evil guy, but I love him for what he did in my life.

Yondu (GOTG) - ‘’He may have been your father, but he wasn’t your daddy’’ Like...what more do you need??? I love??? Frenemies??? And also Frenemies who are attached to the main character in a familial sense??? 

Cantus (Fraggle Rock) - I think I’ve seen exactly three episodes of Fraggle Rock in my entire life and one of them was Cantus’s episode but anyway yeah I love him a whole awful lot. He’s just so....chill and wise, he’s got this real ‘Jedi Master’ vibe and there’s always something about the characters voiced by Jim Henson himself. Plus his design is just *Kisses*

Mavis Dracula (Hotel Transylvania) - God..the FIRST HT movie is like...my favorite Halloween movie. What a cool concept. Too back 2 and 3 were fucking awful and now the trilogy is super badly aged. Characters played by Selena Gomez are usually so annoying and schlocky, but like...Mavis has this incredibly strong charm to her, a very vibrant character, honestly. 

Rooster (The Secret Life Of Pets 2) Like the sane majority of people, I agree TSLOP was barely strong enough to even warrant a sequel, but of course its a funnee minion movie that make a shit ton of money so It got one anyway. Despite my deep personal hatred for every single Illumination movie OTHER THAN HOP, HOP IS GOD TIER, I’m glad they made TSLOP 2 because Rooster was the greatest thing to happen to the movie. Out of all the three plotlines in the movie, the farm one was the most cohesive and not just a pandering mess. Harrison Ford playing his own fursona was very enjoyable, and made the movie honestly kinda worth seeing.

Uh....I don’t....know ten people so if you see this and wanna do it, consider yourself tagged lmao

[detectivejigsawpines]

The Most Hideous Creatures Known to Man, part 1 (A three-hour tour)

Stan continues to find his calling.  Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with his methods...

Part 5 of the Flipside AU.

It was only a matter of time before Stan’s clientele in the forest (he’d set up in a glen near C-beth’s place as his unofficial barber shop) began expressing curiosity about the human world.

For all the myths and legends about the amount of time they were supposed to spend kidnapping children, seducing adults, casting spells on farmers’ crops and so on, the creatures in Gravity Falls had surprisingly little direct interaction with humans.  Even the gnomes were mostly limited to stealing food from their cupboards or window sills while they were sleeping, except when they were trying to find an offering for their queen (both of the Pineses had made it adequately clear to the little group they found sneaking into their Ford’s house one night that they were not available, thank you anyway).

Stan wasn’t sure if this ignorance was the case for anomalies all over the world or just the ones in this tiny part of it.  But as he cut their hair, cleaned and polished their scales and massaged their shoulders, they began peppering him with questions about what it was like for human people.

“How do you get anywhere without wings?”

“What’s it like not having gills?”

“Where do the magic lights in your houses come from?  Do you have a wizard who controls all of them? You have a lot of them, so he must be ever so powerful.”

“What is the significance of those strange boxes humans hold up to their ears sometimes?  They can stand and talk to them for hours-are they some kind of listening insects, since they have those long antennae attaching them to the bigger boxes?”

He answered their questions as best he could, making educated guesses (or maybe kind-of-sort-of flat-out lying) if he didn’t know the answers...but after a while he realized that it didn’t seem to matter what he told them, as long as he made it sound exciting.  The creatures ate it all up in delight, amazed at the way humans seemed to use this strange kind of magic called SCIENCE to make things happen.

And just like with the idea for how to get unicorn hair for his brother, an idea began to spark in Stan’s brain.

“So, let me get this straight,” Stan said one afternoon as he finished putting curlers in a beard cub’s fur, “None of you have actually seen a human up close besides me?”

“And that brother of yours,” C-beth whinnied, looking up from her copy of Whinny, Pray, Trot.  “And the occasional visitor to my glen, or hikers, or-”

“No no no, I mean, you’ve never seen humans in their natural habitat.”

The little group-unicorns, fairies, beard cubs, even a mermaid sitting in the nearby pool-all looked at him in sudden interest.

Stan grinned.  “What would you say if I offered to give you guys a guided tour?”

Of course, not all the creatures could afford to pay in gold and jewels, like the unicorns.  Those who couldn’t had to pay in other things, like samples: skin samples, hair samples, feather samples, tooth samples, any kind of samples they could spare.  Stan would bring them home for Ford to study, and he’d get dizzy with excitement over how he’d “been wanting to study this thing for ages, thank you Stanley!” and immediately run off to his lab to put it under a microscope or whatever.  It gave Stan a warm feeling in his gut, knowing that he’d given a valuable contribution to his brother’s research, and in the meantime he could use the treasure the unicorns gave him to handle other expenses, like the mortgage and groceries and stuff.

If it wasn’t samples, it was things like mushrooms, which he could then give to the gnomes in exchange for favors, or enchanted items, or whatever else could be used to set up an elaborate and profitable barter system.

It was like nothing Stan had ever imagined for himself, but somehow it all worked like a charm.  And now here was a perfect chance to make an addition to it.

If I tell Ford about this, he’s either gonna love it or hate it.

****

For the moment, Stan decided to keep it a secret from his brother.  At least until he got all the details worked out and stuff.

This required him first finding a map of Gravity Falls, and marking out places that seemed like the best “attractions.”  Then he had to think about how he was actually going to conduct these tours a) without any humans noticing, and b) without letting the group of nosy anomalies wander off and get into trouble, or (in some cases) cause trouble.

It took him the better part of a day to come up with a plan, which turned out to partially involve the, ahem, liberation of a very large golf cart from a nearby Santa’s Village, and a pound of jerky for the manotaurs in exchange for them tracking down the invisible wizard and bringing him to Stan so he could strike a deal with him.  To his major disappointment the wizard refused to give up the potion that turned him invisible, but he did lend Stan something that was in some ways even better: a few bottles of what he called “un-notice powder.” I hope I don’t need to explain its purpose.

Once he had these and a few other things thrown together, he was ready to take the first group on a wild tour of...the Human World!

“And on your left, you’ll see ‘Greasy’s Diner,’ home of the perpetually broken spinning pie trolley!”

“Oooohhhh!”  The various anomalies leaned so far to the side of the cart that Stan was worried they were going to tip them all over, staring goggle-eyed at the restaurant.  To prevent this, Stan hurriedly put the cart in park, and then, remembering what the gnomes were like, he slipped the keys into his jeans pocket.

“Twenty-I mean, two hundred gold pieces or the equivalent in samples to come in and get your picture taken with it!” he proclaimed, rushing over to the door and pushing it open.  He promptly had to jump out of the way to avoid being stampeded by the eager crowd.

Inside the diner, the guests looked up in bewilderment at the door, which appeared to have been pushed open by a sudden freak wind.  Susan Wentworth, the head waitress who worked there (and who was kinda cute, Stan had to admit), rushed over to close it, and Stan barely moved out of her way in time.

The tour group (ten gnomes, thirteen fairies of various sizes and colors, a Moth Man, the invisible wizard-who’d insisted on coming at a reduced price as recompense for his being manhandled and bullied so rudely, and Stan had decided not to argue with a man who could turn him into a frog if he got mad enough-a manotaur, and the mermaid, who the manotaur was carrying in a portable cooler filled with water) stared agape at the inside of the room, before hurrying over and taking turns being photographed in front of the pie trolley.  They also had fun prodding at the humans, swiping bites of food from their plates, and taking pictures of them pretending to squeeze their heads or whatever.

Stan watched the chaos with a smile, and took the opportunity to eat some blueberries off the top of a plate of pancakes belonging to that dumb Gleeful kid.

****

Their next stops were the town hall, the cemetery (where a few Category 2 ghosts tried to sneak on without paying, but were scared off by the silver mirrors Stan had strategically placed on the cart), the library, and the high school, before finally they stopped in front of an electronics store.

“Behold!”  Stan leaped out onto the sidewalk, arms spread wide.  The dramatic gesture was nearly ruined by a few teenagers who nearly walked right into him (because of course, they didn’t notice him), but he managed to dodge out of their path just in time.  “Ladies and gentlemen-I guess that includes most of you-”

The tour group laughed.

“-For today’s final attraction, I give you the most horrifying, dangerous, yet incredibly enticing invention of mankind yet: the Idiot Box!”  He gestured at the display of televisions in the front window, which were plugged in to different channels about news, sports, movies, and so on.

The anomalies gasped, staring at the images darting across the screens in transfixed amazement.  He could practically see their eyes turning into hypnotized spirals like in the movies.

“These fiendish devices control the minds of millions every day, encouraging them to buy things they don’t need, eat foods that aren’t good for them, and become emotionally invested in the lives of fictional characters who they are never gonna meet in real life!”  Stan had no idea where most of his words were coming from, but he was on a roll now, and there was no stopping him. “And all it takes is a little bit of electricity and a good channel-”

“I WANT ONE!”

Stan blinked, startled out of his spiel by the manotaur’s roar.

The beast abruptly hurled himself out of the cart and charged-right.  Through. The window. He smashed several of the televisions in his excitement, but he managed to snatch one up intact, ripping the plug out of the socket and hoisting it over his head triumphantly.

Not even un-notice powder was enough to prevent the people inside the store from noticing the wanton destruction.

Time to go.

****

Fortunately, Stan managed to herd everyone (several of the other creatures had rushed into the store to snatch devices for themselves in all the excitement) back into the cart and take off before the cops showed up.  Even better, the un-notice powder didn’t completely wear off until they were back in the forest, so even if the townsfolk noticed them fleeing the scene, it wouldn’t have been anything too distinct. Probably.

Stan gladly accepted a few extra tips from the happy group as they left the carts, hurrying off into the forest and chattering excitedly to each other about all the things they’d seen.

“See ya later, everyone!  Tell your friends! And remember, we put the ‘fun’ in ‘no refunds!’”

Huh; I like the sound of that.  Gonna haveta remember it for next time.

Grinning to himself, Stan finished putting everything in the large treasure chest he’d brought to collect everyone’s payments, locked it, and then drove back towards home, feeling that on the whole this had been a pretty good day.

It was just his luck, however, that Ford would be standing in the driveway as he came up, hands on his hips and wearing his “there had better be an amazing explanation for this” expression.

The cart came to a slow stop, and Stan gave his brother a weak smile.

“...Hey, Sixer.  I got you more samples.”

[groundramon]

I’m bored and I cant focus on my drawing so...

Since I’ve been ratting on Teen Titans all week even tho I insist I like the show (I SWEAR TO GOD I DO...I was off-put at first but? its okay, its hard for shows to immediately hook me), I think it’s only fair to list some of my major problems with some of my all-time favorite shows and some other shows that are currently on that aren’t really my favorite, but I still think are objectively decent and arguably pretty damn good.

I’m not gonna go in order from best to worst but here we go: (keep reading tag because this is going to get really fucking long and ik i dont usually do this with my rants but i feel like i should this time, idk im inconsistent this is a personal blog sorry)

Steven Universe: - I sometimes feel bad critiquing SU because it’s not too far into its run.  I love the show, some of the moments and even full episodes are legitimately mesmerizing, but it...has quite a few problems, yeah.

- The one I bitch the most about is the pacing.  Steven Universe tries to combine serialized storytelling, which is telling an overarching story over the course of several episodes (IE Avatar: The Last Airbender, most anime, ect), and episodic storytelling, which is telling several smaller stories that each fit in one episode with little to nothing connecting them besides the characters (IE SpongeBob, We Bare Bears, most cartoons honestly).  But emphasis on “tries”; Steven Universe, unfortunately, is not very good at blending these two styles.  Steven Universe ridgedly adheres to the idea of having a season that is half filler/”townie” episodes and half “cool alien”/plot-related stuff - and this is something that’s been confirmed, by the way.  So while this was fine in the first season (where the only true overarching plot-related episodes that weren’t just worldbuilding were at the end of the season) and the second season (where the plot episodes can be summed up all-together as “they catch and befriend Peridot and learn, not stop, the Cluster”), it isn’t in the later seasons.  Season 3 has the following plot points: the Cluster is defeated, Malachite is found and defeated and defused, Lapis joins the Crystal Gems, more homeworld gems (rubies) find earth, Jasper is corrupted and bubbled, its revealed that Rose Quartz shattered (killed) someone, and Steven gets lost in space because of a plan gone wrong with the Rubies (and he’s rescued in the last episode).  That is a paragraph worth of plot points.  And, being generous (IE including plot-forwarding episodes that feel more like filler than actual plot, like the baseball episode) that is 13 twelve-minute episodes worth of content.  All of those plot points are addressed in 2.6 hours time.  That is not long enough to visit all those episodes.  And there are a few more I didnt count that /are/ related to the aliens, but Bismuth and Centipeetle currently irrelevant and weren’t related to the plot points I listed so I didnt mention them.

- I’m also still waiting somewhat impatiently for resolution on certain character arcs.  Pearl’s behavior hasn’t been properly addressed for a while and I’m really hoping they dont wimp out of addressing what a piece of shit she can be sometimes.  Like, I love Pearl, but get the fuck outta hear with your Pearl stanning shit.  She’s unintentionally awful and I lvoe her for it.  I’m more patient about Bismuth but.......crewniverse, im starting to get a little impatient with her too.  Bring her back.  You should’ve brought her back in the next episode, because her friends shouldn’t have left her bubbled, but whatever.  It’s fine.  I’m fine.  (I’m not fine).

- Also, Lapis’s character arc.  Wasn’t properly addressed.  One episode she was saying she deserved to be with Jasper and the next she seems fine.  One episode she hates Peridot and two episodes (well several episodes, but two episodes as far as they appear) later they’re buddy-buddy with one another.  I get that there was probably a time gap where they developed closer with one another, but fuck, I would’ve liked to see that instead of Future Boy Zoltron but okay :) (and i dont even hate future boy zoltron, its just one of the few “meh” episodes I bothered to remember the name of)

- SPEAKING OF UNPROPERLY ADDRESSED CHARACTER ARCS I swear to god Crewniverse, if Amethyst was being sincere when she said she didn’t have self esteem issues anymore, I dont think I can call this one of my favorite shows anymore.  Where.  Where did she find the resolve to get over her self esteem issues.  The last time we saw her talk about them was when she broke down in Sardonyx’s room, but, she was speaking through Smoky Quartz (btw, where the fuck has Smoky been? I literally forgot about her because its been so long...).  But still, even if she WAS speaking through a fusion, before then she displayed the same self-destructive mindsets and she was never given the resolve to better herself.  All she did was wallow in her own pity with Steven (which? relatable, but not constructive).  Show us her getting the resolve to better herself.  Show her positively reinforcing herself.  Have her whisper “you can do this, Amy,” under her breath right before she kick’s a bad guy’s ass.  Have her high-five herself, have her cheer for herself, have her be sincerely proud and acknowledging her accomplishments.  Because that’s how you fix self esteem issues and kids should be taught that by someone other than a therapist or the internet.

- Just because a lot of these issues could be fixed with time doesn’t change where they are at this moment.  The past pacing issues might not ruin the show for me depending on the direction they go in, but I feel like they’re going to continuously make the same mistakes over and over - and with the intense direction this show is going now, the idea of having five filler/townie episodes in a row while Lars is in space is terrifying because of how awful that pacing is.  I do not care about Onion, please go back to Lars.  But even if they fix it and the rest of the series is near-spotless, what’s done is done, you cant fix the rushed pacing of the past seasons’ stories and the dumb filler that padded out the seasons in the wrong areas.

- Also, another problem with combining episodic and serialized storytelling is that SU’s story gets WAY too serialized for an episodic show.  There’s so much going on that you can’t just sit down and watch a random episode of the show and start watching the show from there, which is a huge problem when you have episodes like Onion Gang and Future Boy Zoltron that take up 30% of the episodes and offer literally nothing to the story and honestly arent usually even that great as far as episodic stories go.  You cannot have 30% of your serialized show be 100% filler.  That’s bad writing.  And SU is in denial of the fact that it’s too serialized to be episodic.

Gravity Falls: - I generally cite Gravity Falls as one of the best combiners of the traditional episodic and serialized styles.  It’s what Steven Universe dreams of being; it becomes serialized when it counts (the final half of the last season), but up until then, it’s episodic with just a few clues/reoccuring things sprinkled throughout.  However, this show is far, far from flawless.

- Some of the episodic shows, and I mean a lot of the episodic shows, have a tendency to feel rather generic.  Ah yes, a girl whose obsessed with boys and boybands.  Okay.  Seen that.  A nerdy, whimpy boy who has a crush on a cooler older girl.  Again, seen that.  I’m not saying that’s all there is to Mable and Dipper; clearly not.  But a lot of their traits encompass many different stereotypes, and while the characters themselves aren’t bad, the situations they find themselves in aren’t always the most original.  Sometimes I feel like Gravity Falls is a PG-rated Scooby Doo meets Disney Sitcom.  Which is okay if you like Scooby Doo and Disney Sitcoms, but it doesn’t always make for the most eloquent storytelling.  Which is fine for a kids show, but less fine for one of the cartoons heralded as a harbinger of the current cartoon renaissance (then again, I’m not into hardly any of the other harbingers of the “current cartoon renaissance” and I’d argue that we aren’t in a renaissance at all; we’re just finally, finally getting some decent cartoons after the awfulness that was the late 2000s)

- I’m gonna say it; we should’ve learned more about Ford’s adventures in the other dimension.  It’s possible some of the non-animation related materials (namely books) have information about his travels, but as it stands, I havent got a clue what happened to him during those years.  And I want to know.  I should know.  Its a glaring plot hole in all honesty, because we should know what happened to him and how it affected him.  Or maybe im overreacting idk.

Voltron: Legendary Defender: - Hoo boy, where do I even start with VLD

- VLD seems like a show that wants to be character-driven but somehow refuses to.  It wants you to be emotionally attached to the characters, but either it does that and does nothing with it, or it doesn’t even bother to do that.  The only characters whose struggles I care about are Pidge, Shiro, Allura, and only as of season 3, Keith.  Allura I was kinda on the fence about until season 3 but thankfully, if season 3 did one thing right, it was Keith and Allura (and yes I know people are complaining abt Allura’s treatment but I like watching my faves suffer).  That leaves two paladins - and Coran, but I’ll give him a pass because literally the only show that’s done a comedy relief right is ATLA so I’m not expecting him to be superbly well-developed - that I dont give a shit about.

- Lets start with Hunk.  GOD I want to love Hunk so much.  So FUCKING much.  But every time a new season comes out, I feel more and more disappointed.  This show is so obsessed with melding him down to “the fat kid who eats a lot and makes a lot of dumb jokes” and it’s....so disappointing, because there’s so much potential here for something more.  In the first episode of the series, we see Hunk display cowardice (which isn’t an uncommon trait for a fat stereotype) and a prowess for engineering.  Yes he’s a bit of a fat stereotype, but you know what?  I dont care if a fat character is cowardly, makes bad puns, likes to eat, throws up a lot, all that jazz.  I care that they’re more than that.  I hate the idea that a character having a stereotypical trait (assuming its not straight-up a caricature) makes them automatically stereotypical.  Sorry buddy but smart asian people exist.  Preppy blondes exist.  And food-loving fat people exist (hi! i know that last one is true because I am one).  But they’re so obsessed with ignoring Hunk’s other traits - his love of cooking and his engineering skills.  I dont even remember if he used his engineering skills in season 2 and I know he only used it once in season 3.  He didnt even cook in season 3.  And I think the most telling thing in this show is how the show described Hunk’s relationship with Shiro.  As Keith was expressing grief over loosing essentially his big brother figure, Lance thought back to when he viewed Shiro as a legend and a hero, Pidge reminisced about how her father and brother used to praise the guy, and Hunk?  Hunk basically said “uhhhhhh he taught me to pilot my lion.....that counts right.”  Because Hunk has no relationship with Shiro.  Because Hunk has no relationship with any character.  He doesn’t even have that much of a relationship with Lance, and the two seemed to be best friends - or at least friends - prior to the formation of team Voltron.  At best, Hunk is friends with Lance and Pidge.  But all Hunk has done with Keith is make bad jokes while Keith acted all loner-y, and Hunk hasn’t even interacted with Allura and Shiro.

- Now, speaking of Lance, lets talk about him.  While Hunk gets points from me because he’s a sweetheart who deserves better, Lance is a flirter whose too high on his own horse and makes even worse jokes than Hunk does.  Considering Lance is the one we follow in the first episode, I would’ve expected him to be the most centric member of the team.  But first off, fuck me for projecting anime stereotypes/tropes onto a western cartoon (even though voltron was originally an anime kinda but shhh), but secondly he actually is...the most forgettable of all the Paladins.  Yeah I said it.  I legitimately dont like Lance at this point.  Yeah, I said that too.  I basically cant remember anything about him besides the fact that he flirts and jokes around a lot and that Klance is inescapable (like, not that its inevitable that you’ll ship it, but you’ll never escape the fandom for it).  He’s Sokka with all the charm, intelligence, and depth taken out of him, and also bi but that’s the only improvement.  Seriously, what...draws you all to Lance?  I dont want to judge, but he’s just....so stereotypical.  So boring to me, despite being the most lively paladin.  And the development cockteasing.  Oh, the development cockteasing.  I cant tell you how many times I’ve gotten my hopes up specifically because of something the show said about Lance/Lance seeming to be insecure about something, only for them to immediately shoot it down and replace it with more bad jokes or...nothing at all.  Because did Lance even do anything in season 3?  He pilots Red now, he had a funny bit with Blue during the “breakup”, he comforted Keith, Keith comforted him, uhhhh ??? did he even have a line in episode 7??  I feel like there might’ve been episodes where he literally had no speaking parts.  The only good things I can say about Lance so far are: 1. sometimes hes really fucking funny, and 2. it looks like they COULD be building up to something.  But if they’re just cockteasing me all the way through, I’m disowning dreamworks entirely.

- The tone of the show? also shouldn’t vary as much as it does.  The tone of a show varying is fine, but it shouldn’t vary in the way it does in Voltron prior season 3 (I’ll get to what I mean by that in a second).  In season 1 and season 2, the heavy moments of the show were almost entirely carried by Shiro; there was something for Pidge and something for Keith, but even then, Shiro got involved or was there for the entire time.  Shiro, by merely existing, brings the tone of this show down to something almost too serious for a kid’s show (emphasis on almost).  During the light-hearted parts, he just has to keep his mouth shut, because the only time he’s done anything funny (besides ironically funny like with his new outfit and haircut) was when he was yelling at Sven.  Yelling should not be your only source of humor.  But the rest of the show?  Was pretty goofy, yeah it took itself seriously sometimes but it also knew how to have fun.  Which is fine, a show should be able to have fun sometimes.  But that means all parts of the show, including Shiro.  Shiro is physically incapable of having fun and that’s kind of sad.  Season 3 was better about this though; nothing in season 3 felt fun and goofy, like at all, besides Lance taking selfies with girls in the first episode, and that was just one scene.  So I mean, they didn’t fix their problem, but the tone didn’t vary as much.  And I’m not saying the tone shouldn’t vary.  No, it should; you shouldn’t have all serious moments or all goofy moments.  Have some fun, but also take yourself seriously sometimes.  The problem is that parts of the show can’t take themselves seriously (Lance, Hunk) and other parts of the show can’t take a joke (Shiro, Zarkon/any villain too but they get a pass since they’re villains).

- Also we REALLY should know all of the Paladins’ backstories by now, ESPECIALLY Keith’s.  I know his is a mystery, but we need to know what he knows or else we cant get invested in the mystery.  If we dont have the same facts as the characters, we dont know where to start or what to expect.  We should’ve also seen flashbacks to Lance and Hunk’s families - ESPECIALLY Lance’s, since he seemed to care so much about them, but welp now that’s gone :).  We should’ve also seen more flashbacks to Pidge’s family but at least she’s trying to find them.  Nobody else gives a shit about their families and I just.  Aaaaaaaaaa this show infuriates me sometimes.

Avatar: The Last Airbender: - There’s nothing wrong with ATLA, move the fuck along

- I’M JOKING IM JOKING SWEATS okay but it’s no surprise I like ATLA and think its near flawless.  But still, it’s near-flawless, not flawless.

- If you cant stand a little kiddish cheese, you wont be able to stand ATLA.  ATLA takes itself super seriously for something on Nickelodeon, especially something on Nickelodeon in the mid-to-late 2000s (god I wish I watched this show as a kid, my standards would’ve been so much higher and i would’ve known what animation could actually do if you tried) but it’s still written for kids.  Which is fine!  I actually prefer things written for children over things written for adults.  But if you can’t handle something with content that’s clearly written for children, ATLA isn’t for you.

- Ozai fucking sucks.  There’s no other way to put it, his character fucking sucks.  He’s meant to be the embodiment of pure evil, he’s not meant to be sympathetic like Zuko, but for fuck’s sake, we needed his backstory.  And no, The Search doesn’t count; love that comic book, but that’s not enough backstory on Ozai (unless I’ve forgotten an important scene in the comic, idk its been a while).  Azula isn’t a sympathetic villain but we see her reasons and backstory.  Give us something like that for Ozai.  Show us a character that was emotionally neglected and then grew up in a society where killing and genocide were encouraged and praised.  THATS the backstory for Ozai I want.  I want to know where he came from to fuel my hatred for him, to see him as a real person but not as someone who should’ve done what he did, and I want to hate him BECAUSE he feels like a character.  Right now he just feels like the embodiment of evil and that doesn’t make for a good, truly intimidating villain.  A truly intimidating villain is one that you understand and can possibly relate to.  Not...whatever the hell Ozai is.

- Katara and Aang’s romance plot fucking sucks.  I am ace/aro and cannot write romance for shit nor tell when characters have chemistry, but I can still tell this.  It’s not...forced?  It’s not...rushed?  But it’s unnecessary and poorly written and it’s just puppy love and honestly if it was real live I couldnt see their relationship lasting.  Also the idea of seeing someone as a brother and then dating them later is verrrry .... poorly worded to say the least bUT ANYWAYS NEXT BULLET POINT

- Toph and Suki could’ve been developed more.  Like, they were okayly developed, they were great characters, but idk.  Toph didn’t grip me nearly as much as Sokka, Aang, and Katara and I feel kind of bad about it, but thinking about how much development the others got compared to her, it’s not really surprising.  I also am not the hugest fan of rude characters anymore, but I digress.  Also Suki.  Suki had like, little to no development.  I want Suki to be part of Team Avatar.  Can we do that

- General Zhao also fucking sucks.  He’s so generic that the first few times I watched the show, I forgot he was even a significant reoccuring villain.

- Sokka could’ve also been more developed but they could’ve all been more developed honestly?  You can always add to perfection.  I shouldnt complain about Sokka tho, he was finely developed and I love my nonbending son

The Legend of Korra: - Uhhhh the first season’s ending?  0/10 bad, rushed, not good.  I wanted to see Korra deal with the loss of her other elements.  I wanted to see her cope with that.  But no, because Nickelodeon kept screwing over LOK, they had to rush it because otherwise it wouldn’t have been a happy ending for the series if they potentially had to end it after one season.  Fuck Nickelodeon :) but I’m still going to critique LOK for it even if it is Nickelodeon’s fault.

- Bolin and Mako were horribly underdeveloped.  Especially Bolin.  It’s so sad how underdeveloped “Team Avatar” was in this series compared to the last series.  I feel bad complaining about Toph, Suki, and ESPECIALLY Sokka in comparison to LOK.  The only one even comparably as bad is Suki, but she got half a season to be developed and these two got an entire series.  We got some of their backstory and then...that was it, besides the love triangle that Bolin was barely part of.  I guess they were kinda irrelevant for season 2 and season 4, but they had no reason to be missing in the later half of season 4, plus they had season 1 and season 3, so....  God, poor Bolin.  It would’ve been nice to see a nice (fat) comic relief guy like him get the same treatment as Sokka, but whatever....its fine.......ill just sit here patiently waiting for my good representation coughs.  Also all Mako did was do the love triangle and I Do Not Like Him for it.  Keith is a better Mako than Mako ever was because Keith dont need no love triangle and also he already has more development

- Asami also should’ve been more developed, but it looks like there’s potential for more development in the comics so thats good.  From the series alone though, she was pretty flat; better than Bolin and Mako for sure, better than Suki from the original series, but not nearly as good as Toph or the others.  At least she did have some development and a likeable personality that’s relatively original.

- I hate saying this but...Korrasami should’ve been more developed.  I wouldn’t like, take points off of a rating for this point because I mean it was the first lesbian/gay representation in a kids cartoon (from my understanding) and Nick might not’ve even known they were sneaking in something romantic at the end, not to mention they completely subverted the love triangle plot so it actually gains back favor in that way and its great.  Also, I mean, they had that buy-curious joke lmao.  And I’m pretty sure its expanded upon more in the comic; there wasn’t really room to expand upon it in the show because it was just starting.  But they probably could’ve done better than that.  It was still okay though and also, the subverting of the love triangle trope is the greatest thing ever and i long for the day that I can do that plot twist in one of my shows lmao.

- The Villains could’ve been more developed.  Besides Ammon (who is FUCKING AWESOME and you can FIGHT ME) they all had the same problem as Ozai; we dont have many reasons to see them as human or relatable and it makes it hard to hate them as much as we should.  I mean, they do show /some/ human qualities which I appreciate, but I dont entirely understand their motivations half the time and I want to know how they came to view the world the way they do.  But at least unlike Ozai, they do feel somewhat human.  (Except maybe Unaloq, I didnt like Unaloq very much)

And that’s like half of what I could say about each of those shows, and those are just some of my favorite shows I watch.  Dont ask me to go off on like, AOT or something, because I’ll be writing for another three hours lmao (actually feel free to because i wanna INSULT this PIECE OF GARBAGE ANIME that looks rlly pretty but otherwise IS BAD AND IDK WHY I WATCH IT lmao [idk if im joking or sincere sorry])  No show is flawless so I’m going to insult whichever flaws I see.  Fight me.

[enigmatist17]

Long Time (Pines Family)

I had a good starting idea, but then it just kinda...I dunno, I hate it but I worked on this for a bit so here ya go I guess.

“GRUNKLE FORD! GRUNKLE STAN!” Mabel’s scream echoed throughout the courtyard of her school, everyone turning to watch the pink blur race over to two ratty-looking old men who caught her with grins so big they could be seen by everyone. The excited 13-year old was chattering a mile a minute as one of the men kneeled down to her height, a grin on his face as he responded to her numerous questions without skipping a beat. The other man watched in amusement, perking up when he heard some sounds nearby that sounded slightly off, Stan and Mabel not realizing he was wandering off. “Not gonna fight back anymore Dipstick?” A taunting voice sneered, Ford poking his head around a corner to see four boys surrounding a person on their hands and knees. His blood ran cold when he recognized the familiar brown hair, Dipper slowly looking up with blood running from his nose and busted lip. He grunted moments later when one kid kicked his side, recoiling from that direction in a feeble attempt to avoid a second hit, only it never came. Slowly looking up Dipper’s eyes went wide when he saw his grunkle Ford was holding one of the boys hand, his expression dark as he looked at the preteens who looked nervous at this very tall man in front of them. “Is there a problem here children?” His tone was cold as ice, the boys hurriedly shaking their heads as he advanced a step closer. “Then I would suggest you leave. Now.” No further prompt was needed as the group ran as fast as they could, Dipper slowly sitting up as Ford knelt by his side with a look of concern. “Dipper, are you alright my boy? Is your nose broken?” Ford was alarmed by the blood dripping from his nephew’s nose, digging through his pockets to pull out a handkerchief that Dipper took gratefully. “Sorry about the blood Grunkle Ford, and no its not broken this time. I just bleed really easily.” He explained with a wince, watching as Ford collected his bookbag and the scattered notebooks all around the alley, the last book he picked up being the journal Ford had helped him make. “This time? How many times has this happened?!” Ford asked, his rage barely repressed as Dipper shrugged, wincing when his ankle moved at the motion. “A lot, ever since we started school I guess…” Dipper trailed off, Ford gently examining the swollen ankle before placing one arm under Dipper’s knees and the other behind his back, easily lifting Dipper up and close to his chest. Dipper instantly felt safe as his grunkle made his way back over to Stan and Mabel, Stan instantly looking angry as he took in his injured nephew as Mabel bit her lip sadly. “Who did this? I’ll kill ‘em.” Stan groused as Ford shook his head. “Let’s get him treated first, then threaten.” Dipper smiled faintly as Ford carried him home, Mabel riding on Stan’s shoulders as she gave a brief history about the bullies Dipper had been forced to deal with for years. Their parents weren’t home when they arrived, Mabel unlocking the door and quickly running in to get the first aid kit as Dipper was placed on the dining room table so ford could better examine his foot. “Out with it kid, I want those punks name.” Stan grumbled, heart aching as Dipper let out a strangled gasp when Ford tried his best to gently remove his shoe, the dark purple bruise greeting them only riling his anger further. “Grunkle Stan, it’s fine…” “No it ain’t.” Dipper flinched at the tone in his voice, Stan sighing as he took a seat and placed a hand on Dipper’s shoulder. “This is not okay…” “Do your teachers know who is doing this?” Ford questioned, looking affronted when Dipper nodded. “And yet no actions have been taken?” “Grunkle Ford, things are a bit different when it comes to things like this.” Mabel spoke up, Stan gently picking her up and placing her beside her brother. “They have to see it happen during school, or the teachers don’t do anything. Mom and dad tried to stop it, but they never believe us ‘cause they don’t like Dipper much…” “Why?” Ford gently tilted Dipper’s head up so he could make sure the bleeding had stopped from his nose, pleased to see it was merely bruised and not broken. “Cause Dipper is the smartest in that school��and we may or may not have kept pranking the principal for the last few years.” Dipper grinned as Stan chuckled, Ford standing to go and rummage around for an ice-pack for the young boy. “Unbelievable, and I thought the school system had been bad in our time.” Ford groused, not so easily swayed as he grabbed the only ice-pack he could see and wrapped it in a towel, handing it to Dipper once he had returned. “Look Ford, don’t even think about goin’ after those kids. Laws are a lot stricter when it comes to kids.” Stan warned, knowing that this was the last thing his twin wanted to hear as he grumbled something in an alien language rapidly. “Yet they allow children like Dipper to be harmed merely because they have no visible confirmation of being bullied to the point of his ankle being twisted and a close case of a broken nose?” Ford sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, once more speaking in an alien language that was most likely him cursing like a sailor. “I refuse to accept this.” “It’s okay grunkle Ford, we only have another year and a half, then in high school we probably won’t see them again…” Dipper tried to weakly reason, Mabel nodding as the older twin gave them a wane look. “I apologize, I just…I am very passionate about this subject.” Stan gave his brother an understanding look as the younger twins nodded. “But, you’re safe right now Mason, and that is all that matters.” “You told him?” Mabel grinned at her brother, Dipper shrugging with a slight blush creeping up his cheeks as Stan chuckled. “You’re such a nerd.” “Oh shut up!” Dipper blushed as the two began to bicker good-naturedly as the older twins merely chuckled and watched. It took a fair amount of convinced Ford that Dipper would be ok before he felt good enough to return on the voyage he and his brother had interrupted to see their favored family members, and even then Ford left Dipper with a wrist-watch that also doubled as an invisible shield. The parting at the docks was sad, but both parties felt giddy when they went their separate ways once more, phone calls and e-mails made daily. The kids weren’t allowed to return that summer, the entirety of Gravity Falls of course disappointed but they carried on the best they could for another year until one day a bus drove into the familiar stop that was rarely stopped at. “IT’S DIPPER AND MABEL!” Grenda’s cries echoed throughout the main street, citizens popping their heads out of various buildings to see the bus driver help the twins unpack the dozen suitcases they had. Cheers erupted as the townsfolk flooded around the two, smiles all around as greetings were had and the bus driver was helped by several people so he could get back on his way. “It’s so good to see you guys!” Wendy grinned as she and Dipper switched hats, the almost 15-year old grinning as he had grown almost to her height. “Same to you as well!” Dipper couldn’t help but grin in return, the two chatting until Mabel’s squeal rang out at the sight of an old car chugging towards the mass crowd. Stan barely got out of the car before he was almost bowled over by the energetic hug he received, Dipper hanging back until Ford motioned him over for a less-energetic but still hearty hug. “Kids, you got here early.” Stan commented as everyone dispersed a bit from the two shrugging teens. “Sorry, bus came way earlier than it was supposed to.” Mabel explained, bouncing back and forth on her feet. “Our phones also died so we couldn’t let you know.” Dipper nodded, leaning against the car with a sheepish smile. “Here I thought Stan was forgetful about charging his phone.” Ford teased as some people laughed, the conman rolling his eyes with a grin. “So why are you guys here with so much stuff?” Soos questioned, murmurs rippling throughout the crowd as the younger twins glanced at each other. “Well…mom and dad thought it would be a good idea if we went to school with less…problematic people.” Dipper worded carefully, not wanting to give away the fact that his parents had recently gotten a divorce and had sent them to Gravity Falls until things could be sorted out. “You’re gonna be here for high school?” Wendy asked curiously, the two nodding which sent some cheers throughout the teens hanging around. “This is gonna be great!” “It so is!” Mabel grinned, the town beginning to ask questions that she and Dipper were more than happy to answer. They had never looked happier as they were driven home by Stan, the two eagerly chatting around this and that until they saw the new additions to the Mystery Shack, awestruck as they hopped out of the car to get a better look. “We figured we needed some more space, it has been a while since the old girl had an update.” Stan explained, leaning against the driver side door as he watched them grin and comment on how it looked almost like the expansion had always been there. “We thought of giving the whole building a fresh look, but it just didn’t quite sit right.” Ford commented, already unpacking their things as the twins went over to help him. The rest of the day was spent unpacking the twins’ things and catching up on just about any topic they could think of, smiles never once falling from their faces. It was good to be home, where they were loved and safe.

[deafeningcreationperson-blog]

Winfield Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75493

"Winfield Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75493

Winfield Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75493

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Hilary thinks things through. She's pragmatic and capable of modifying things to work in an evolving world. She understands the give and take of a complex economy and her goal is to restore peace and prosperity; unity and pride. Whenever I hear an Obama supporter claim Obama will end the war or deliver a health insurance plan that works I think -- Don't bet on it. Obama tries to copy Hillary, but doesn't understand the complexities at the level she does, not does he seem consistent about anything. He's also more in the pocket of Special interests than Hillary -- though he denies that all the time -- not good. I have utmost confidence that Hillary is brilliant and dedicated and knows how to create solutions that work. The things she talks about, are what she will deliver, you can see that by observing her voting record. Hillary does what she says she will do, that's why I trust Hillary. Hillary '08""

Can a 17 year old purchase health insurance?

I am seventeen years old and i no longer live with my parents(with their permission), and they do not have health insurance. I have terrible eyesight and am on my last pair of contact lenses that are not in very good shape themselves.I have a job but it would take a long time for me to save up enough money to take care of all of the costs included in getting my contacts. I need to know if i can purchase health insurance or if i am eligible for any type of coverage?""

Car Insurance quote question?

When I try and get a quote for some cars on either Tesco or Direct line, it tells me they cant give me a quote online and il need to ring them. Also, the browser wont let me go back, so they make you close the window and type out another quote all over again! Why do they do this? The car I want to insure is a Nissan Navara D22. I am guessing that its because its a commercial vehicle and they want to check if il be using it for commercial use. I am 18 and have had my licence for a year, and I will be the named driver on the policy, my dad being the main driver who has over 30 years NCB! I managed to get a quote for a new Navara, not the D22 version and that was about 1990. How much do you think the D22 will be? Do you think they might class it as a van and not insure me because im under 21?""

What is the best car insurance that you don't have to pay much in any state?

I live in NJ and paying half as my car cost...

How much would insurance cost for a 16 year old boy driving a BMW?

I'm looking into buying a BMW 525 I for my first car (2003). I really dont wanna spend all the money on insurance so I would like to no how much it will be for my car. I live in Connecticut if that helps. PS. I'm not some rich snob whose parents are buying a car, i work very hard for the money I do have.""

When does car insurance lower for a guy?

I am 20 years old, I have been driving for the past 4 years with my parents cars. I pay through my parents for my insurance. I am looking to buy my own car and the insurance is only slightly lower than paying for what I have now! I looked at an 01 Ford Focus and it will cost my $1200 for 6 months! I also looked at a Ford Taurus it was about $900 for 6 months, a 97 Malibu is about the same as is a 97 Olds. The cheapest insurance I could find was a 94 Ford Ranger which is only $850 for 6 months. When does car insurance lower for a guy?""

Dental insurance for an adult in need of braces?

I am almost 21 years old and will be getting braces within the year and was wondering if anyone knew of good dental insurance plans for adults that includes braces. Please, legit companies, preferably first hand experience with them. Thanks!""

Can somebody suggest me some good health insurance company which can provide me insurance for four months.?

I graduated very recently from a US university. And, I had campus care insurance. It might take some time for me to join the job. And, I would like to have some kind of health insurance for four months. Can you please suggest me some good company which can offer me insurance for such a short period?""

What does a full coverage car insurance policy cover?

If I have a full coverage insurance policy through Allstate, esurance, statefarm, progressive, or geico. I know that it automatically includes liability as well as comprehensive and collision with a deductible. But does it also cover me if I total my car in an at fault accident, does it cover me when driving a rental vehicle, does it pay for rental cars or offer discounts when my car is down or in the shop?""

What company provides the CHEAPEST auto insurance?

I want the very cheapest auto insurance out there. The bare minimum so that if I were to be pulled over, I would be legal. The coverage is not important. Thanks!!""

Winfield Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75493

Winfield Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75493

Best school to prepare for my life and accident/health insurance licensing exam?

I need to start my 52 hour training to get licensed in California for life, accident and health. Which is the best school to prepare me for the exam? There are so many online, however I want one with a high pass rate.""

Will we be covered by insurance when driving to get a new car?

I have bought a new (second hand!) car and will be going to get it today. Not having changed my car before, I have a question. Just before we go to pick up the new car, we will be changing our insurance in town from our old car to the new car. If I change my insurance to the new car, how can I then drive my old car as it will be uninsured? We will need the old car to drive a few miles outside town to get the new car! Is there a special way that this has to be done so that the the old car is still temporarily covered? We will be going to get the new car immediately after sorting the insurance. Please give as much details as possible of what I have to do.""

How much is car insurance for a 19 year old female in south carolina?

How much is car insurance for a 19 year old female in south carolina?

What car has the cheapest insurance?

For a 17 year old.. (MALE)

Who is the cheapest car insurer for 2011?

my car insurance has gone up 140 this year

Do I need to be on both my parents car insurance?

my parent are divorced and I live with my mom, but i go to my dads every weekend. I am under my moms car insurance (state farm). I was wanting to know, does my dad have to insure me to drive his car? I am only 16 by the way.""

Can you buy car insurance and then remove it two days later?

I wanted to go on a trip by myself but I need insurance... But it costs 2000 dollars a year...so can I get it and after the trip get rid of it? I'm only driving two days. Never again. What will happen after I get rid of the insurance?

Cheap Car Insurance in Fl?

I'm a 17 year old girl and I have a 95 Pontiac Firebird . What are some super cheap car insurances in Florida . I just need the basic coverage , like just the state minimum . Can somebody please tell me some cheap insurance companies !""

Where can I get best and affordable liability insurance for Photographer?

Need liability insurance for over $1M to be able to photograph Resort weddings. There is xxx companies out there offering insurance but It's hard to choose specially when I'm new in it. Somebody told me to become member of PPA and used their discounts for liability insurance. Thank you very much for your time. Frank

I do not have auto insurance and my license is suspended (child support). I live in California?

Is the other driver still responsible to pay for damages to my car? He has insurance. What do I do first? Thank you for your help

The Future Of Car Insurance?( Its what they do in the U.K)?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/5408338.stm An in-car black box device calculates premiums based on when, and how often, the car is used. The time of the day, type of road and mileage of the drive is taken into consideration when working out the monthly charge to customer. Charging people more for driving late night when many accidents occur could change driver behaviour, particularly among the young. Would you be willing to try pay-as-you drive car insurance?""

Car Insurance Rates: Wyoming vs Nevada?

Car Insurance Rates: Wyoming vs Nevada?

NY Full Coverage Insurance Rates?

How much is full coverage on any plan for a new driver?

Why does auto insurance rates go up after manditory insurance laws pass?

the insurance companies promise that passing these laws would always lower them

Insurance quote on 1989 Jaguar XJ6 for 17 year old?

Hey, just for the record I'm not buying this car to speed, I just plan on fixing it up and taking it for cruises. Just wondering how much it would be, thanks. Also does it go under classic or historic car insurance?""

New driver looking for cheap insurance?

New driver looking for cheap insurance?

What is the cheapest auto insurance for undr 25's in Texas?

Please provide me with the web address if possible.

How can Americans like me stay healthy if we don't have access to affordable health care?

Or have the money to purchase insurance?

How can get car insurance?

Let me give some more information. 20 years old, female, live in NJ and need to buy car and insurance soon. what are some companies to use? Thanks!""

Health insurance?

i need health insurance that is affordable to me. i am willing to spend 30-100 dollars a month. i just basically want something to cover my dental and doctor . it can be network far as i car i dont really need ppo. i also want it to cover some of my presciption.

Would it be the cheapest sports car?

I saw the 4 cheapes sports cars for insurance a mazda mx 5 and a pontiac solstice would they be the cheapest sports car for insurance for a 16 year old or what sports car would be the cheapest to insure for a teen I know for a teen with a sports car would not be cheap we have the money but what sports car would be the cheapes for a teen

What are my health insurance options?

I recently changed jobs to a small company that does not provide health insurance. I was turned down when I applied independently to Aetna for medical reasons. Would the decision of another company likely be any different or is COBRA my only option? Despite some issues in my medical history I virtually never go to the doctor and would be happy with a plan that just covers unexpected catastrophic issues but I'm not sure how to go about looking for that.

""If I send a demand letter to an insurance company, do I have to ask for a specific amount?""

Or can I leave it open-ended? I was in an accident in June '09. The other driver was found to be 100% at fault. I received a settlement offer from the at fault driver's insurance company that was ridiculously LOW. I replied with a letter stating that I would not accept their low offer and explained why. I'm wondering now, though, if I should have specified an amount that I expect to receive. I simply told them to get back to me with a real and significantly higher offer or I would be seeking legal representation. Did I make a mistake?""

Does my car have to have insurance even if its not being driven?

I bought a car that needs a little work. So its not being driven and it is sitting in my driveway while i drive my other car. Does it have to have plates and insurance on it if i am not driving it at all??

Car Insurance questions?

ok i was recently in a car accident , jus a rear end nothing to serious. but the rear of my car is pretty bad. bumper is in bad shape , trunk doesnt open , lights are a bit broken but still work. a guy from the other person's insurance company came to take a look at my car and inspect it and estimate damages. he told me that the car will probably be a total loss. he said someone would call me in 2-3 business days to discuss my options. now i guess i will be paid for what my car is worth , which isnt much prolly no more then a $1000. my question is tho , the guy who came told me that one of my options would be if i wanted to keep the car or not. i want to keep the car , it still runs , it still drives. if i still want to keep my car do i still get paid for the damages?""

Winfield Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75493

Winfield Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75493

""I'm turning 16, and wanting to buy a car. How much is the Car insurance?""

Well, i'm turning 16 and when i'm 16 i'm going to buy a car. I saved enough money to buy myself a mitsubishi lancer or Eclipse base model. I live in Calgary, Alberta, Canada i want to know what is the cheapiest car insurance for me? on a monthly or yearly term.""

Car insurance?!!HELPPPP?

I'm from Chicago, IL. i don't know how Chicago road law operate so i hope u guys will help me out a bit.i just found out that my car insurance had stop it coverage with me for the last 3 month for whatever reason. I just called them today to reopen up my account again and the new insurance card is being sent home. today Can i still drive my car even if i don't have a actually insurance card in the car? if a police does stop me and ask for my insurance, can i say that it's being mail home and if he/she don't believe me, they can called my insurance agent??""

Is there a place I can get affordable life insurance?

for someone who is terminally ill and not expected to live for another year?

Can you recommend any books for 15-yr old girl?

I've only read a few books. I don't really have a favorite genre, but I like the kind where it keeps you on edge, or its so good, you can't put it down. Books I read for school are boring, like To Kill A Mockingbird, there was another one where this family got insurance money and they were fighting over it. i really don't like those kind. So can you recommend anything that I would like? I'm trying to find a genre I like, but so far, no luck. I've read books like the da vinci code, stonehenge, american chillers(when i was in elementary school, now in high school), a child called it, night, and acceleration.""

Will this up my car insurance?

If I buy a normal Volkswagen MKV Golf, and get a new bumper fitted and put some black alloys on it, will it up the insurance by much? I'm not trying to 'chav' it up, I simply want more of an R32/Jetta bumper and grille. I also want to have the interior retrimmed in white leather, how much would this up the insurance by? Thank you :)""

Proof of insurance in Georgia?

If I will be driving someone elses car and they have auto insurance do I have to have insurance as well?

My Allstate insurance agent wants me to change from Allstate to Allstate Fire and Casualty. Should I? ?

I would be saving money, but I am wondering if there is a catch to this. Anyone else do this? It is my auto insurance, and I'd save money to switch (about $500 every six months. He tells us rates are lower because my credit is good. True?""

Can i get car insurance from a different adress?

basically where i live my car uinsuranmce would be double that of where my boyfriend lives and i was wondering if i could use his adress for my car insurance. i got o his house for half teh week anyway and im thinking im gunna leave my car there most of trhe time and only bring it home on teh odd accassion and put down on my insurance that i use it for commuting. but teh agress on my license will be different to that on the insurance. i will register the car to my boyfriends adress though. so is this ok? thank you for any help :)

I want to cancel my life insurance for a better one can i get my money back that i put in on it.?

are we allowed to get money back that we put towards life insurance.. if so how long do u have to have the policy to qualify for this. mines is only 7 months old. thanks.

Estimated costs for restaurant insurance?

I am working on a business plan for school and need to know what types of insurance an upscale restaurant in Chattanooga, TN would need. Approx. 15 workers, alcohol will be served, and there is outdoor seating. I am having trouble getting any idea of how much this will cost because the online insurance quotes require quite a bit of information, which I don't have because this is not a real business. Any info will help. Thanks!""

Can I purchase life insurance for our family without a physical exam?

We have a new baby and we both need to be insured. Is it possible to purchase affordable life insurance without a physical exam?

How do I get affordable insurance after dui non-conviction?

State farm is canceling my auto insurance after a company called ChoicePoint inc. reported info. from the DMV about reinstatement of license, Chemical test modification and Chemical test revocation. I was arrested for a first offense and plea bargained to jump though all the hoops, pay all fines in order for it not to result in a conviction. Are there any insurance companies out there that do not purchase info. from ChoicePoint?""

""Car insurance in the USA, for foreigners / tourists?""

im 18years old, and hopefully after my exams in may, i hope to go to america to visit a couple of friends. My mates have put forward the idea of a possible roadtrip in his car. Its his car, and im assuming its insured. However since its a roadtrip, i will also probably need to drive, in which case how do i sort this out?? can i drive on his insurance, as long as i tell his insurance company or is it more complicated than that. I've been told than unlike car insurance in the UK, Americans insure the DRIVER, rather than the car. i have a full UK license, and dont mind if i have to get a international driving permit, but how do i figure out this insurance problem.""

Can you license get suspended if you don't have insurance on a car that you don't drive?

I don't drive my 1999 Mitsubishi eclipse because it has some engine problems and I don't have insurance on it because there is no point of paying it. I plain on getting it ...show more

Car insurance help!!?

ok, im trying to get the cheapest insurance possible. i am 18, i have over a 3.5 in high school, i took drivers ed, and i have never had any problems with the law. oh and if it matters i live in oregon so which car insurance company will be the least expensive?""

How much would insurance be?

im getting a 1993 eclipse for my birthday and i have to pay for my own insurance, so how much are we looking at here for insurance? i just got my license and have a c/b average for my grades. we are going through farmers but when i went to the website it wouldnt work.""

Reducing Car insurance?!?

Hi, I am just curious because I know someone who does this but situation is a little different. His parents are split up so he has a car at his mother's house (where he would HAVE to be registered as primary driver) but he lives at his father's house so he only pays occasional driver's insurance even though the car is always with him. (both the father and mother have licenses however are not insured under the car in question) I am just asking if it were possible for me to do that with my grandmother for example. If I get a car registered under her name, but since I don't live with her can I pay as an occasional driver? She does not have a license. If it helps I live in Ontario, Canada. Thank you""

Mandated Health Insurance is different from Mandated Auto Insurance how?

The Supreme Court will be deciding if the government can force us to buy health insurance from a private corporation. The government forces us to buy auto liability insurance from a private corporation. I am at a loss to see the difference.

How much money does your insurance go up after a car accident that was your fault?

I am doing an essay on distracted drivers and I just wanted to know the statistics.

How Important is having Earthquake Insurance in California?

With Gobal Warming and all! Do you think it's important that I have Earthquake Insurance on my house? Crazy things have been happening and I just want to know I'm covered if a Massive Earthquake HIT California and damaged my house. I'd like to know HOW many Homeowners living in California have Earthquake coverage and what you would pay? I just got a quote that seems pretty good. $184.00 a year for coverage. Sounds pretty good huh? That's only about $15.33 dollars a month. Let me know what you think.

""First car! help with car insurance,tax&other stuff please ?? uk owner?

smart car 2 seater white and silver 2010 reg how much would it cost to tax and insure female driver at 17 year old? best place for insurance ?? is it worth getting a black box installed into the smart car ?? if so how much do the cost on average? where is cheapest place to get break down cover ?? what over things do i need to consider on my first car? how much does a smart car cost to fill with fuel in uk?? would love some help if possible kind regards mia xxx :D

Is my car covered under my insurance?

I have a 2008 car that has full coverage even though it is paid off. My wife is not on the insurance. I am a former cop and from what she told me, the other vehicle is at fault because he came into her lane and hit our car, but there was no police report. I already called my insurance company and gave the normal information. My question is... will my car be covered because she is not on my insurance? I have been reading and people say the car is covered, not the driver so it should be, but I also read someone who said if someone lives with you and you did not tell the insurance company they could have possession of your car, that they may not cover it. I was a cop, but only did the reports. I didn't deal with insurance so I am naive when it comes to this stuff. I am okay with things going the way they should, but I don't want the insurance company tricking me into some minor technicality that will keep them from covering me. Is there anything I should do or not do? It was damage from the front to the back and we cannot afford to pay for it ourselves.""

16 Year Old Auto Insurance on Own Car?

hey, i am currently 16 and have had my license for about 5 months now, i am considering buying my own car, can anyone tell me an estimate of how much my insurance would be? i would be buying an older model car (1997-2002), i completed a young drivers course. Thanks""

Car insurance for 17 year old male?

hi can anyone help me i have been looking round for car insurance for a 1.0ltr corsa 2002 and my cheapest quote i have had is 15,540 per year and i am wondering if anyone could tell me if there is anywhere i can get it cheeper or is that the cheepest i am gooing to find thanks ant""

Repayment of my health insurance premiums?

I received a letter in the mail a week ago, and can't locate it now. It was explaining as to how there is a government program in place to reinburse for health insurance premiums paid if someone in your household gets NC Medicaid? Anyone know about this as for the life of me I can't put my hands on the letter. Any insight would be helpful. Thanks.""

Winfield Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75493

Winfield Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75493

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-quotes-female-drivers-katherine-lara/"

[stoneevans]

3 Marketing Lessons I Learned the Hard Way (You Can Make a Fortune with These)!

New Post has been published on https://www.home-business.com/3-marketing-lessons-i-learned-the-hard-way-you-can-make-a-fortune-with-these-2/

3 Marketing Lessons I Learned the Hard Way (You Can Make a Fortune with These)!

You can take an awful lot of those “how to market online” courses and sometimes still not learn the truly groundbreaking stuff.

I’m talking about the seemingly unimportant things that turn out to be so important, it’s like a scene in one of those adventure movies:

The hero fights through obstacle after obstacle to get to this secret cave that hasn’t been entered in a century.

He pries open the heavy door, sweeps away several inches of cobwebs, and by the light of his torch he sees something shiny. He picks it up… it’s a gold coin! Nice, but not that earth-shattering, right? It’s just one coin…

Taking a step forward, he sees a small chest. Opening it, he sees a couple hundred gold coins. Yeah! This is pretty cool.

But then he catches just a glimmer of something deeper in the cave. Opening the door wider to let light in, he sees more gold. And priceless statues. And gemstones. And… the treasures go back as far as the eye can see.

Holy cow. That one gold coin turned out to be the beginning of more wealth than the GDP of most countries.

Well that’s how I feel about what I’m going to teach you here. To the uninitiated eye, these three lessons might seem small, like a single coin.

And they might almost appear trivial. But I promise you, if you follow this advice, your online income can become almost limitless.

And by the way, some people have paid literally thousands of dollars to discover what I’m about to show you:

Marketing Lesson #1: Make an irresistible offer

You’ve heard the term irresistible offer before, but what does it mean?

First, it’s an offer that’s better than anything your competition has.

Second, it’s so good that’s it’s truly hard to pass up.

For example, if I were to sell you a brand new car for $1,000, that’s an irresistible offer.

Most marketers have trouble getting their marketing to covert because they’re offering the same stuff as everyone else. Yes, they try to make it sexy, but it isn’t.

You can dress a pig up in a lovely, low-cut evening gown, or even a tiny bikini and high heels. But it’s still a pig.

(Not trying to pick on pigs here, btw – I think they’re kinda cute and definitely smart.)

You can have weak marketing and a great offer and make it work.

But great marketing will never compensate for a weak offer.

If you don’t have the right offer, then it doesn’t matter how great the copy is, what the headline is, who is promoting it and so forth.

If you want to make sales, you’ve got to have an absolutely superior, irresistible offer that the prospect simply cannot turn down.

And you’ve got to back the offer up with a product that delivers, too. I’ve seen offers that blew me away, but once I got into the product, I realized it was 80% hype and 20% substance.

As you might have guessed, I asked for a refund – as did close to 50% of their purchasers.

So make them an offer they cannot refuse, and then deliver on every promise you make.

Do this and you cannot help but make a fortune.

Marketing Lesson #2: You’ve got to have a big marketing idea.

Just having a bigger promise or using a hyped headline isn’t going to work anymore.

If you’re going to be seen and heard by your prospects, you’ve got to cut right through all the shouting online and present something brand new.

Think of it this way: A regular marketing idea is doing what’s already been done, except maybe it’s 10% bigger or 10% better.

That used to work, but these days it just blends with everything else.

But a big marketing idea is something new, something revolutionary. It could be an entirely new approach, a new way of looking at something or a new way of doing something.

Take cars for example. A regular marketing idea is to make a car 10% more gas efficient, or 10% sleeker/bigger/smaller/curvier/boxier etc.

If you think about it, most of the cars today just sort of blend. They look a lot alike, work a lot alike… it’s always been like that.

Then there’s Tesla. Put a Tesla side by side with any other car, and you’ll notice a difference. Talk about how a Tesla runs, and it’s revolutionary.

Don’t let your idea be the latest model of Ford or Chevy.

Make it a Tesla.

Give your prospects a feeling of discovery, of something completely new that gives them an AHA! Moment.

Offer them hope that this is finally THE solution they have been searching for.

It’s powerful, indeed.

Marketing Lesson #3: Customer acquisition is simply about good math.

I know you keep hearing about free traffic. But free traffic isn’t free; it costs you time and work. And more time. And more work.

If you want to make serious money, then you’ve got to learn some math and be willing to invest some money to make that money.

Online marketing in the six and seven figure range is all about buying new customers – not hoping they eventually find you on their own.

Buying new customers is how you grow big and fast.

Think of customer acquisition as an investment.

You’re investing in the acquisition of assets — customers.

And to do this wisely… like the best marketers in the world… you need to know some numbers.

For example, one of the absolute most valuable marketing numbers for you to understand and use is the Maximum Allowable Acquisition Cost (MAAC).

MAAC tells you the most you can pay to get a new customer.

And to know your MAAC, you also need to know the lifetime value of your customer. Which in the beginning is hard, so do this instead – know the 3 month value of your customers.

How much do they spend with you in 3 months? Whatever that number is, you need to spend less than that to get a new customer.

Most entrepreneurs and marketers don’t know their MAAC or their customer’s lifetime value.

Of if they do know the numbers, they don’t use them to determine their traffic generation budgets.

But if you want to earn six or seven figures a year, you’ve got to know and USE this stuff.

Once you know these numbers, you’ve got to focus on increasing the value of your customer, so you can increase your MAAC, so you can get more customers.

Very few average entrepreneurs and marketers understand this, but now you do.

So, did I just hand you three gold coins?

Or a vast and unending treasure trove?

That’s up to you and what you do with this information.

[sobeardtastemaker-blog]

3 Marketing Lessons I Learned the Hard Way (You Can Make a Fortune with These)!

New Post has been published on http://www.elimarketing.org/3-marketing-lessons-i-learned-the-hard-way-you-can-make-a-fortune-with-these-2/

3 Marketing Lessons I Learned the Hard Way (You Can Make a Fortune with These)!

You can take an awful lot of those “how to market online” courses and sometimes still not learn the truly groundbreaking stuff.

I’m talking about the seemingly unimportant things that turn out to be so important, it’s like a scene in one of those adventure movies:

The hero fights through obstacle after obstacle to get to this secret cave that hasn’t been entered in a century.

He pries open the heavy door, sweeps away several inches of cobwebs, and by the light of his torch he sees something shiny. He picks it up… it’s a gold coin! Nice, but not that earth-shattering, right? It’s just one coin…

Taking a step forward, he sees a small chest. Opening it, he sees a couple hundred gold coins. Yeah! This is pretty cool.

But then he catches just a glimmer of something deeper in the cave. Opening the door wider to let light in, he sees more gold. And priceless statues. And gemstones. And… the treasures go back as far as the eye can see.

Holy cow. That one gold coin turned out to be the beginning of more wealth than the GDP of most countries.

Well that’s how I feel about what I’m going to teach you here. To the uninitiated eye, these three lessons might seem small, like a single coin.

And they might almost appear trivial. But I promise you, if you follow this advice, your online income can become almost limitless.

And by the way, some people have paid literally thousands of dollars to discover what I’m about to show you:

Marketing Lesson #1: Make an irresistible offer

You’ve heard the term irresistible offer before, but what does it mean?

First, it’s an offer that’s better than anything your competition has.

Second, it’s so good that’s it’s truly hard to pass up.

For example, if I were to sell you a brand new car for $1,000, that’s an irresistible offer.

Most marketers have trouble getting their marketing to covert because they’re offering the same stuff as everyone else. Yes, they try to make it sexy, but it isn’t.

You can dress a pig up in a lovely, low-cut evening gown, or even a tiny bikini and high heels. But it’s still a pig.

(Not trying to pick on pigs here, btw – I think they’re kinda cute and definitely smart.)

You can have weak marketing and a great offer and make it work.

But great marketing will never compensate for a weak offer.

If you don’t have the right offer, then it doesn’t matter how great the copy is, what the headline is, who is promoting it and so forth.

If you want to make sales, you’ve got to have an absolutely superior, irresistible offer that the prospect simply cannot turn down.

And you’ve got to back the offer up with a product that delivers, too. I’ve seen offers that blew me away, but once I got into the product, I realized it was 80% hype and 20% substance.

As you might have guessed, I asked for a refund – as did close to 50% of their purchasers.

So make them an offer they cannot refuse, and then deliver on every promise you make.

Do this and you cannot help but make a fortune.

Marketing Lesson #2: You’ve got to have a big marketing idea.

Just having a bigger promise or using a hyped headline isn’t going to work anymore.

If you’re going to be seen and heard by your prospects, you’ve got to cut right through all the shouting online and present something brand new.

Think of it this way: A regular marketing idea is doing what’s already been done, except maybe it’s 10% bigger or 10% better.

That used to work, but these days it just blends with everything else.

But a big marketing idea is something new, something revolutionary. It could be an entirely new approach, a new way of looking at something or a new way of doing something.

Take cars for example. A regular marketing idea is to make a car 10% more gas efficient, or 10% sleeker/bigger/smaller/curvier/boxier etc.

If you think about it, most of the cars today just sort of blend. They look a lot alike, work a lot alike… it’s always been like that.

Then there’s Tesla. Put a Tesla side by side with any other car, and you’ll notice a difference. Talk about how a Tesla runs, and it’s revolutionary.

Don’t let your idea be the latest model of Ford or Chevy.

Make it a Tesla.

Give your prospects a feeling of discovery, of something completely new that gives them an AHA! Moment.

Offer them hope that this is finally THE solution they have been searching for.

It’s powerful, indeed.

Marketing Lesson #3: Customer acquisition is simply about good math.

I know you keep hearing about free traffic. But free traffic isn’t free; it costs you time and work. And more time. And more work.

If you want to make serious money, then you’ve got to learn some math and be willing to invest some money to make that money.

Online marketing in the six and seven figure range is all about buying new customers – not hoping they eventually find you on their own.

Buying new customers is how you grow big and fast.

Think of customer acquisition as an investment.

You’re investing in the acquisition of assets — customers.

And to do this wisely… like the best marketers in the world… you need to know some numbers.

For example, one of the absolute most valuable marketing numbers for you to understand and use is the Maximum Allowable Acquisition Cost (MAAC).

MAAC tells you the most you can pay to get a new customer.

And to know your MAAC, you also need to know the lifetime value of your customer. Which in the beginning is hard, so do this instead – know the 3 month value of your customers.

How much do they spend with you in 3 months? Whatever that number is, you need to spend less than that to get a new customer.

Most entrepreneurs and marketers don’t know their MAAC or their customer’s lifetime value.

Of if they do know the numbers, they don’t use them to determine their traffic generation budgets.

But if you want to earn six or seven figures a year, you’ve got to know and USE this stuff.

Once you know these numbers, you’ve got to focus on increasing the value of your customer, so you can increase your MAAC, so you can get more customers.

Very few average entrepreneurs and marketers understand this, but now you do.

So, did I just hand you three gold coins?

Or a vast and unending treasure trove?

That’s up to you and what you do with this information.

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 64

Yesssss Three’s a Crowd is finally here, and as promised, its a DELIGHT involving a bunch of fusion and feels! I honestly don’t have a ton to say about it aside from the fact that Stepper and Dipevebel are both precious babies that deserve to be loved and protected. And with that outta the way, might as well get started!

Previous: http://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/182514454899/universe-falls-chapter-63

Chapter 64: Three’s a Crowd

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With the question of leadership on the project answered, construction on the drill was now underway. Even after the robot rumble the day prior, the barn still had plenty of suitable materials that Pearl, Ford, and Peridot were able to scrounge up to use on the machine. For the time being, McGucket had taken his leave back to his humble shack to draw up a proper blueprint for everyone to work off of, but for now, laying the proper foundations on the project would certainly prove to be a good first step forward in their efforts to stopping the Cluster once and for all.

“Hm… yes, this should all work nicely…” Pearl mused to herself, looking over the list she had created before checking over the pile of scraps and supplies resting in the yard before her.

“Yo, P! Brought ya more junk like you wanted me to,” Amethyst reported before dropping her load of various items.

“Now, now, Amethyst, this ‘junk’ might just end up contributing to the drill that will hopefully save the entire planet from impending doom,” Pearl concluded with a thoughtful smile.

“Oh yeah?” the purple Gem asked with a smirk as she briefly rummaged through the pile. “So uh… how exactly do you think this is gonna help us save the world?” she asked playfully as she held up a deflated whoopie cushion.

Pearl rolled her eyes as she snatched the cushion away from the chuckling purple Gem and tossed it back into the pile. “Well, you never know,” she said, her amused smile fading as she looked back to the mess before her. “Still… we’re going to need to clear some space out so we’ll actually have someplace to build the drill… To be honest, we… probably should have done that before moving all of these supplies out here…”

“Ugh, so you mean we gotta move all this stuff again?” Amethyst asked, already exasperated by the mere thought alone.

“No need,” Garnet interjected as she stepped up to the pair. “All we need to clear some space is a little muscle.”

“Oh, Garnet…” Pearl took in a bit of an anxious breath. “You don’t mean-”

“I do,” Garnet nodded firmly before offering the purple Gem beside her a small, cordial grin. “Amethyst?”

Upon realizing what the Gem leader’s intention was, Amethyst was unable to hold back a huge gasp of excitement, stars in her eyes as she eagerly showed her agreement with this plan. “Yes, yes, YES! Let’s mash it up, G!”

Garnet simply let out a small laugh at this as she took Amethyst’s hand so they could prepare their dance. Though still slightly apprehensive, Pearl took a step back to allow them the space they needed, hoping that they’d reign themselves in this time when compared to before. All the same, Garnet and Amethyst moved smoothly and fluidly as they strutted towards each other, their usual dance bringing them together in a burst of bold, bright light. And out of that light emerged bombastically large, familiar figure: Sugilite.

“Awwwww yeah, baby!” the rowdy fusion proclaimed, towering high over the entire barnyard. “Ya girl is back and ready to bust it up! Now… lets drill out a space for this drill…”

“C-can we possibly do so in a way that doesn’t raise half the barn?” Pearl asked rather nervously.

“Too late!” Sugilite exclaimed, swiftly summoning her flail and giving it a mighty swing. Pearl let out a small squeak of fear as she quickly ran for cover as the supplies for the drill went flying at random. The rowdy fusion let out a wild laugh as she entertained herself with her thoughtless “land development”, largely unaware to the fact that the white Gem wasn’t the only one watching her reckless display.

“Whoa…” Dipper mused in amazement as him and Ford stood near the barn, observing Sugilite’s strength from afar. “They make it look so easy…”

“They certainly do, don’t they?” Ford agreed with an enthused smile. “Fusion is by far one of the most incredible abilities I’ve witnessed from Gemkind. The fact that they can merge their light-based bodies and gem-based minds completely together to create larger, stronger beings is simply astounding! It’s always been one of my favorite topics to study when it comes to Gems and its an absolute treat to see it again for myself.” The author paused briefly as Sugilite tossed her flail once more, rattling the entire area as a result and nearly knocking Ford and Dipper to the ground entirely. “E-even if Sugilite is… quite a bit to handle…”

“So, is that why you wrote so many notes about fusion in your journals?” Dipper asked, as curious as ever to hear perspective from the author himself.

“Oh, yes, absolutely,” Ford nodded before letting out something of a wistful sigh. “After all, its about the most I could do to document my research on such an amazing phenomenon, even if that research is somewhat… inadequate…”

“Inadequate?” Dipper frowned, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you see, Dipper, I’ve always believed that the best kind of scientific research is born from firsthand experience,” Ford informed astutely. “Its for that reason that I accompanied the Gems on so many of their missions back in the day—so I could see their mysterious powers at work for myself. But fusion is… something on an entirely different level. Its complexities, its true nature, the sheer experience of fusion in and of itself is something that is unfortunately beyond human’s capacity to understand due to one single, simple, unfortunate fact alone: humans cannot fuse.”

“Well… I don’t know if that’s completely true…” Dipper muttered without really thinking.

“What was that?” Ford asked, looking down to his nephew inquisitively.

Dipper flinched, suddenly anxious as he realized that he’d now have to explain exactly what he had just implied. An explanation that likely wouldn’t be the smoothest to provide given how he was still occasionally baffled by it himself. “Um… w-well… I know this might sound… kinda crazy but… I’ve sort of—ok, well not really sort of as much as I’ve actually fused before… So… yeah.”

At first, such an admission was only met by a look of complete confusion from the author, though he soon broke out into a small bout of bemused laughter that only flustered his nephew even more. “Oh, that’s a good one, Dipper!” Ford chuckled, warmly patting the boy on the back. “You nearly had me going there for a second, but I know better. Like I said before, fusion between humans and Gems is a complete and utter scientific impossibility.”

“N-not for Steven it isn’t!” Dipper protested earnestly. “I… I mean, Steven’s half Gem and half human, so I guess that means he can fuse with both? A-anyway, he has fused before, with Connie, and with Mabel a-and… and with me.” He finished quickly, only barely noticing how warm his cheeks were with the recollection of his own fusion with the young Gem.

“…Really?” Ford asked, now quite intrigued as he realized that his nephew was completely serious. “W-well, that’s… that’s incredible! By all accounts something like that should be impossible, but then again the fact that someone like Steven, who’s simultaneously both Gem and human even exists at all is a miraculous impossibility in and of itself! Still, Gem and human cross fusion… it’s a scientific marvel! I’d simply love to know more, that is, if you don’t mind filling me in with all of the details, Dipper.”

“Oh, of course!” Dipper readily agreed, more than eager to aid in his uncle’s important research. “Well, first we—wait…” he paused briefly, a smile spreading across his face as he came up with a plan that would no doubt impress the author even more than the knowledge of human-Gem fusion had. “You know what? I have a better idea. Instead of just telling you about it, why don’t we just show you instead?”

“Show me?” Ford asked, raising a confused eyebrow.

“Wait right here,” Dipper advised quickly, already glancing around to see if Steven was anywhere around in the immediate area, which he wasn’t. So instead, he began hurrying off to go find the young Gem for himself, refusing to pass off the opportunity to amaze the author in more ways than one. “I’ll be right back!”

“Oh, w-well, alright then,” Ford smirked, waving his nephew off, even if he really didn’t understand whatever he could possibly be planning. At least not yet. “In that case, I suppose I’ll be right here until you return!” A mere second later, however, a large piece of upturned earth crashed down right next to the author, courtesy of Sugilite’s recklessness, prompting him to step into the barn for his own safety. “O-on second thought… maybe I won’t…”

“The hat feels… redundant…” Peridot scowled as she glanced up at the colorful party hat Mabel had perched atop her triangular hair mere moments ago.

“Aw, come on!” Mabel exclaimed brightly as her and Steven stood before the green Gem. “I think it looks pretty on you, Peri!”

“Yeah! And besides,” Steven added with a smile. “It’s to celebrate your first time eating Earth food! I mean… technically coffee was kind of your first food, but then again, coffee is a drink so… I don’t think it really counts.”

“Then… what’s the chair for?” Peridot asked, glancing down at the high chair the pair had set her up in.

“Safety!” Mabel and Steven chimed in pointed unison.

“…So… how does this work exactly?” Peridot raised an eyebrow as she looked down dubiously at the plate of macaroni and cheese before her.

“Oh, its really easy,” Mabel informed. “First, you take this fork, then you grab some food with it and bam!” She acted the movements out, shoving a forkful of mac and cheese into her mouth to demonstrate. “Ya get yourself a yummy meal!”

“How dignified…” the green Gem remarked sarcastically. “So… what is the point of this whole ‘eating’ thing anyway?”

“Oh, well, the point is that food tastes really good!” Steven shrugged with a small laugh. “And you eat it so you can enjoy how great it tastes! And… so you won’t starve to death, but then again, I guess that’s not really a problem for Gems so… for you, it’d probably be more about the taste thing.”

“Hm…” Peridot’s expression was still rather critical as she looked down at the food in front of her yet again as she picked up her fork experimentally. “Very well then, I shall try this so-called ‘eating’, but only for the sake of gaining further intel on this planet and its bizarre customs…” Steven and Mabel both stood by, watching expectantly as the green Gem clumsily used her fork to pick up a single piece of macaroni and lift it to her mouth. However, right before she could actually eat it, their unofficial ‘experiment’ was suddenly and unexpectedly interupted.

“Steven!” Dipper shouted as he rounded the corner of the barn. However, in his excitable haste, he accidentally ended up tripping himself up as he did so, resulting in him face-planting hard onto the ground. The racket was more than enough to startle everyone, especially Peridot as she jolted forward in her high chair, ultimately knocking it, and herself over in the process and spilling what was supposed to be her first meal all over her.

“Dipper!” Steven exclaimed, concerned as he hurried over to help his friend up while Mabel moved to assist Peridot. “Are you ok?”

“Steven,” Dipper repeated, his tone very earnest and intentful as he tightly gripped the hand the young Gem offered to help him up. “We have to fuse. Right now.”

“WHOA!” Mabel gasped in shock as she overheard this, accidentally letting Peridot fall back down to the ground. Ultimately, the green Gem picked herself up and stormed off, too perturbed to continue her first attempt at eating now, especially since Steven and Mabel were distracted. “What did you say, bro-bro?”

“I said,” Dipper began a bit breathlessly. “Steven and I need to-”

“Yes!” Steven interupted, his expression an elated smile as he swiftly helped Dipper up and pulled him into a tight, excited hug. “Yes, yes, of course I’ll fuse with you, Dipper! Its been such a long time since we’ve formed Stepper, and I’ve really been wanting to give him another go since we had so much fun together last time, so of course I’m up for fusing, especially if you are!”

“W-well, that’s great!” Dipper smiled just as excitedly as their embrace disbanded. “Then let’s do it!”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Mabel interupted, casting a suspicious glance at her brother. “Not that I’m not super hype to see my favorite four-armed Ste-bro again, because oh my gosh I am, but… what’s the catch here, Dipper? Why do just wanna suddenly fuse with Steven outta the blue like this?”

“Oh, well, y’see…” Dipper began somewhat apprehensively as he glanced away. “I was… sorta telling Great Uncle Ford about how Steven can fuse with other humans and he was really interested in hearing more about it so I figured we could maybe… show him an example of a Gem/human fusion? Just so he could see what that looks like for himself and all.”

“Aha! I knew it!” Mabel remarked with a knowing grin as she placed her hands on her hips. “I had a feeling this had something to do with you bein’ a huge nerd and wanting to impress Grunkle Ford!”

“Oh, come on, that’s not what this is about,” Dipper rolled his eyes. “I just wanna help him with his research! He’s always studying all these incredible things, and what’s more incredible than someone like Stepper?”

“I can’t think of too many things that are!” Steven chimed in brightly as he took Dipper’s hand again. “I think this is a great idea, Dipper. Mr. Ford is just gonna love Stepper, I know it! So come on!” The young Gem didn’t hesitate to pull Dipper after him as Mabel hurried not too far behind. “Let’s go introduce him!”

Despite Dipper’s instance on forming Stepper as soon as possible to keep Ford from waiting in suspense for too long, Steven and Mabel had a bit of a different idea in mind. With ample space to build the drill cleared out, Garnet and Amethyst had unfused, and not long afterward, Mabel quickly gathered the two of them and Pearl to congregate in front of the barn for unknown reasons. Meanwhile, Steven also made sure to round up Ford and even Peridot, still not explaining the reason why they were all being brought together, save for the fact that it was to “watch something”. And needless to say that upon realizing the pair had gathered an audience to bear witness to their fusion, Dipper was less than pleased.

“Are you guys serious?” he asked Steven and Mabel in a harsh whisper as everyone settled in front of the barn. “Do we really need everyone to watch us fuse?”

“Well, yeah!” Steven exclaimed with a grin. “Last time we fused, the only one who got to see it was Mabel. But now that the Gems and Mr. Ford are here, they should get the chance to see us form Stepper too, shouldn’t they?”

“Uh… I don’t know about that…” Dipper frowned, rubbing his arm uncomfortably.

“Oh come on,” Mabel reassured. “All you guys need to do is dance and just pretend like nobody’s watching you. Or that everybody’s in their underwear. Your choice.”

“Hey, are you guys actually gonna do something over there?” Amethyst called as she leaned against the side of the barn. “Or did you just get us all together to watch a whole bunch of nothin’?”

“Oh, its not nothing,” Steven said brightly. “Me and Dipper are gonna fuse!”

A round of surprised murmurs arose from the group near the barn, though Ford in particular stepped forward out of immense interest as to what was about to take place. “T-they’re actually going to do it!” he exclaimed, rushing to pull his journal out of his coat so he could take notes. “If they manage to actually pull this off, then this will be a true breakthrough in my research! An absolute wonder of science and magic!”

“And… rather unprecedented…” Pearl frowned, a bit less enthused. “Steven and Dipper don’t really have much of a logistical reason to fuse right now, so why are they-”

“Because they want to,” Garnet concluded with a hint of a smile on her face. “That’s why.”

“Ha! As if those two clods could even pull something like fusion off,” Peridot scoffed, crossing her arms. “And even if they could, said fusion would likely be barely even functional given that a Gem and a human are hardly compatible and shouldn’t even be together in the first place!”

“Uh, Peridot?” Amethyst spoke up with a bemused grin at the irony of the green Gem’s doubtfulness. “I hate to break it to you, but-”

“Alright, boys!” Mabel interjected loudly, grinning over at Steven and Dipper as she pressed play on the nearby boom box to give them some music to dance to. “Get fusing!”

“Oh, come on, seriously?” Dipper asked in immediate embarrassment upon realizing the song playing in the background was none other than BABBA’s “Disco Girl”. “Do we really have to fuse to this song?”

“Well, it is the song that we fused to the first time around,” Steven pointed out with a small laugh as he already began moving to the pop beat. “And besides, its starting to grow on me a little too. I can see why you like it so much. You… do still like it, don’t you?”

Dipper paused, not really paying too much mind to the question as much as he did the hand Steven had extended out to him so they could properly begin their dance. “Heh, yeah,” he said with a warm, genuine smile as he accepted the young Gem’s invitation. “I still do.”

Without any further hesitation, Steven readily pulled Dipper into a fast, free spin, both of them twirling together, their hands joined as they moved about in wide open circles. With this immediate momentum, it was easy for both of them to forget the spectators watching them as they spun each other out, only to immediately pull each other back in. There wasn’t too much grace or elegance to their dance, but their hardly needed it as their shared elated laughter spoke volumes about just how much this dance was truly bringing them together.

However, their laughter wasn’t the only show of excitement between the boys. For as their dance continued, everyone watching it soon let out a shared gasp of amazement as Steven’s feet slowly began to rise off the ground first, followed by Dipper’s as a result of his tight grip on the young Gem’s hands. The others were all awestruck as they watched the boys rise a good bit into the air together, somehow still spinning in jubilant circles with their eyes closed and their laughter unending. The Gems exchanged a stunned gasp, all three of them silently and collectively realizing that Steven had just very well unlocked his mother’s renowned floating abilities. And yet, they didn’t bother to point that out right then and there, lest they interrupt what was, by all accounts one of the most astonishing fusion dances any of them had ever seen.

Of course, eventually Dipper did open his eyes only to realize that him and Steven were in fact, more or less dancing in mid-air. He let out a sharp, fearful gasp as he gripped the young Gem’s arms tightly, trying his hardest not to look down at the ground several feet below them and doing little else. “S-Steven!” he squeaked anxiously, his grip on the young Gem tightening ever so slightly as they continued spinning winding circles in the air. “W-we’re-”

“I know!” Steven laughed warmly as he looked to Dipper, apparently not even noticing their lifted elevation at all. “I’m having a great time too!”

For a moment, the most Dipper could do was state at Steven with apt disbelief, especially as the young Gem let out another jovial, liberating laugh. And, upon realizing that he’d stay safe and in the air so long as his hands were intertwined with Steven’s, it was a laugh that he was ultimately helpless to join back in on once more. Everyone was still completely awestruck as they watched the gently floating pair, but their amazement only grew as a warm, pale pink light began to flush out from Steven’s gemstone, enveloping both boys as their separate gales of laughter soon became one.

In fact, Stepper didn’t stop laughing, even as he did stop spinning, both sets of his four arms wrapped around himself tightly in an elated, affectionate hug. The newly-returned fusion was more or less hanging in midair, that is, until he happened to notice his precarious perch several feet above the ground. “Uh oh…” he muttered, his laughter quickly dying out, especially as gravity decided to kick in for him yet again. Stepper let out a fearful cry as he quickly plummeted the thankfully small distance to the ground, face-planting onto the grass with a very audible thud.

“I-I’m ok!” the fusion announced, using both sets of arms to pull himself up into a sitting position. He let out a gasp, however, upon noticing the very fact that he did indeed have four arms in the first place, stars filling his eyes as he burst into a delighted smile. “No, I’m even better than ok! I-I’m back! We did it!” Stepper broke into another round of cheerful chuckling as his upper arms pulled himself into an excited embrace once more. “And it feels better than ever before!”

“STEPPER!” Mabel’s ecstatic shout caught the fusion off guard, especially as she plowed right into him, knocking him flat onto his back as she locked him into a heavy hug. “Oh my gosh, its so great to see you again! It feels like its super long since the last time you were around!”

“Aw, come on, Mabel,” Stepper chuckled, sitting up as he returned her hug. “You technically see ‘me’ all the time. Ok well, maybe not me me, but Steven and Dipper me… Oy, this is getting kind of confusing… But still, it is pretty great to be back together like this!”

“Ooo, I am lovin’ those super harmonious vibes you guys got goin’ on there!” Mabel exclaimed as she effortlessly climbed up to sit atop the fusion’s shoulders as he stood. “That’s it! Operation ‘Find the Harmony’ is officially a success! Now we just need to come up with a new mission for you! Now let’s see… hm…”

“I know,” Stepper spoke up with a bit of a wry grin. “How about Operation “Who Said You Could Sit On My Shoulders”?” He asked playfully as he used both sets of arms to hoist her off his shoulders and hold her out in front of him.

“Hey! Its not my fault that you make such a good lookout post!” Mabel protested, sticking her tongue out at the fusion.

“Oh, so you’re finally admitting that I’m taller than you then?” Stepper asked with a knowing smirk.

“Ha! Not a chance!” Mabel shook her head triumphantly. “I’ll never admit defeat! Never! NEVER!”

“Mabel, I’m literally double your height right now,” Stepper pointed out, still grinning.

“…And your point is?”

“Heeeeeyo!” Amethyst called as her and the other Gems began to venture over to the pair. “There he is! Our four-armed main man Stedip!”

“Uh… actually, Amethyst, its Stepper,” the fusion pointed out with a bit of an amused chuckle.

“Oh, yeah, I know,” the purple Gem remarked. “I just think Stedip sounds funnier.”

“Heh… right…” Stepper said a bit sardonically before Pearl spoke up.

“Well, it certainly is a treat to see you again, Stepper,” the white Gem said, gently pushing the chuckling purple Gem aside. “You know, while you’re here, we might just have to fit in some combat training if at all possible. I’d love to see what you’d be able to pull off with Steven’s shield, Dipper’s sword, and that special journal of yours all at the same time…”

“Oh my gosh, that’d be so much FUN!” Stepper exclaimed with an amazed gasp. “I’d be unstoppable with all three of them! Plus, I got plenty of hands to hold them all in,” he grinned, waving three of four of his hands before raising the final one enthusiastically. “And one to spare!”

The others all shared a warm laugh over the fusion’s humorous quip, though it gradually died out as Garnet approached Stepper next. However, the fusion simply took in a deep breath and straightened his posture, offering the Gem leader a solid expression as he allowed her to silently inspect him. “So, Garnet? What do you think?”

It took a rather expectant moment of apparent scrutinization from the Gem leader, she finally broke out into a small, pleased smile accompanied by a nod of certain approval. “I think you’re looking pretty stable, Stepper,” she confirmed warmly.

“YES!” the fusion cheered loudly, only to quickly catch himself and reign his excitement back in. “O-oh, I mean, uh… that’s cool. Ya know… just like I am. Cool and stable all the way!”

“DORK!” Mabel shouted teasingly, letting out a rowdy laugh as Stepper spun around to face her in faux offence.

“Hey!” he snapped, grinning himself as he geared up to chase after her as she ran off. However, before he could, his attention was quickly diverted by a very loud, very angry yell from a very perturbed green Gem.

“YOU!” Peridot shouted, her tone and expression both burning with fury as she stormed up to the somewhat startled fusion. “You’re that four-armed abomination that destroyed my attack robinoids with your information log-based projectiles!”

For a moment, Stepper simply regarded the green Gem with a bit of confusion before he realized exactly what she was talking about. “Ohhhh right, the… dumb robot things,” he said, boredom filling his expression briefly. “Well… I’m sorry about breaking them, Peridot, but—actually, wait, no, we’re not sorry because you tried to use those things to destroy the Gems and Mabel!”

“Well, it’s your fault that I even came to this doomed planet in the first place, you malformed pebble!” Peridot retorted harshly. “I would have never requested an envoy to Earth if not for your destructive actions against my beautiful machines!”

“Ugh, whatever, Peridot,” Stepper scoffed, rolling his eyes as he scowled down at the green Gem. “What matters is that you’re here now, so you might as well try to make the most of it by helping us build that drill.”

“I will not take orders from the likes of YOU!” the green Gem ranted, furious. “I should have figured all along that you were merely the despicable fusion between the Steven and that irksome Dipper given that they’re both just smaller clods coming together to make one bigger one!”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Garnet interjected just as it seemed as though Peridot was reeling back her first to strike the fusion’s legs since she couldn’t really reach the rest of him. So instead, the Gem leader easily lifted the green Gem into the air, even despite her angry struggling as she tried her best to even so much as land a hit on Stepper. “I think its time for you to go cool down… again.”

“Honestly, that’s like the third tempura tantrum she’s thrown today alone!” Pearl remarked as her and the other Gems began to take their leave, with Peridot sending hostile, though ultimately empty threats Stepper’s way all the while.

“I’m not finished with you yet, you four-armed… whatever it is you are!” she yelled fiercely as she pounded against Garnet’s secure hold on her. “You’ll pay for ruining my precious robinoids, you hear me? PAY!”

“Pfft, yeah, sure,” Stepper remarked with a small smirk as he crossed his upper arms. “I’d like to see you try.” The fusion’s calm demeanor was soon broken, however, as he noticed the only member of the group he hadn’t spoken to yet slowly make his way over to him with wide eyes of awestruck amazement.

“O-oh! Hi, Mr. Grunkle Ford!” Stepper greeted excitably, only to quickly cover his mouth out of embarrassment over his accidental slip up. “I-I mean, h-how’s it going, Great Mr. Ford! N-no, I… what I meant to say was, i-its great to finally meet you—ok, well not really meet you since we both already know you, b-but you’ve never met us like this even though you have met us when we’re apart and—you know what? I’m getting confused again, I think I’m just gonna stop talking before I make this any worse than it already is.”

“Again I say…” Mabel grinned as she leaned over towards the scatterbrained fusion. “DORK!”

“Mabel!” Stepper exclaimed hotly, his already red cheeks burning with even more embarrassment than before. However, Ford hardly seemed to take any notice of how flustered Stepper as he instead continued staring at him, absolutely captivated by the supposedly impossible fusion standing before him.

“I-incredible…” the author murmured, astonished. “You boys actually did it! You’re a… a fusion! A true, genuine, Gem-human hybrid fusion!”

“Yep! I sure am!” Stepper grinned excitedly. “T-though according to Pearl, I’m actually like… 75% human and only 25% Gem or something? So, there’s not a ton of Gem in me, but I still have this,” he pointed down to the exposed pink gemstone on his navel. “So, I guess that still counts for something, right?”

“Fascinating…” Ford said, circling the fusion to get a better look at him. “And you appear to be so stable as well… ‘Stepper’, was it?”

“Heh, yeah,” Stepper confirmed with a bit of an awkward laugh. “Though to be fair, it… did kind of take us a while to get us this stable…”

“A while?” Mabel spoke up. “Psh, come on, be honest, Ste-bro! The first time you guys fused, you were an absolute mess! In fact, you were so scatterbrained and all over the place, that you almost-”

“O-OK, Mabel, that’s enough!” Stepper quickly interjected as one of his lower hands hurriedly covered her mouth. “I-I’m sure Mr. Uncle Ford isn’t interested in any boring old recaps of things that don’t really matter anymore! R-right?”

“Hm…” the author mused, tapping his pen against his journal as he looked between it and the fusion. “You know what I would be interested in? Being the first scientist in history to document accurate, fully-researched notes on a Gem-human cross fusion! W-with your permission, of course.”

“…You… you wanna put me in your journals?” Stepper asked, his eyes wide and his expression absolutely stunned. Ultimately, he failed to provide a proper answer, instead opting to stare at the journal in the author’s hands in disbelief, even as Mabel lightly elbowed his leg.

“Uh… Grunkle Ford?” she frowned back at the author. “I think you might have broken him…”

“YES!” Stepper suddenly shouted, stars in his eyes as he bounced on the balls of his feet in obvious elation. “Yes, yes, YES! Oh my gosh, YES!” Even despite his boundless excitement, the fusion was quick to notice the bewildered look Ford was giving him, and as a result, he forced himself to calm down by putting a rather forced aloof front on. “I-I mean… yeah, I… t-that sounds cool. I’d… I’m totally down for that i-if you are.”

“Excellent!” Ford exclaimed brightly. “Then come along, boys—or I suppose I should say, boy. There’s much important research to be done!”

“R-right behind you!” Stepper called after the author as he began to head towards the barn. Even so, the fusion lingered behind for a moment, breaking down into a bout of delighted, outright ecstatic laughter the moment Ford was out of earshot. “I-I can’t believe it! I’m gonna be in THE journal! This is seriously one of the coolest things that’s ever happened to me! Y’know, aside from fusing, which is also totally awesome since I wouldn’t even be in the journal at all if not for that!”

“Only you would get so excited about showing up in some nerd book, Dipper,” Mabel pointed out with a playful wink.

“H-hey, no fair!” the fusion said defensively. “We’re both excited! I mean, its not every day that we get to fuse, and now we get to be in the journal too! Its like a two-for-one deal, just like me!”

Mabel was unable to hold back an amused chuckle at this, one that Stepper gladly joined her in, given his already quite upbeat demeanor. “Wow, you guys are so much more fun together this time around than you were the first time!” Mabel pointed out with a bright grin. “We gotta hang out for some real fusion fun while you’re still fused! Just the two of us! Wait, no… three of us. Two of us? Eh, you know what I mean.”

“Oh, yeah, of course we can hang out later, Mabel,” Stepper readily nodded in agreement with this plan. “Just let Great Mr. Ford get in a few notes in the journal about me, and then I’m all yours for the rest of the afternoon, I promise.”

“I’m holding to that promise, Ste-bro!” Mabel quipped cheerfully as Stepper began to head off to join the author. “Don’t you go and have too much nerd fun without me, k?”

“Well, I can’t make you any promises on that,” the fusion called back with a chuckle as he glanced over his shoulder. “But I’ll try!”

Mabel easily returned Stepper’s send-off smile, confident in the fact that she’d get to have some quality time with the fusion of her best friend and brother later on. Of course, what she didn’t know was that quality time would come in a way that none of them, not even either half of Stepper himself, could have ever expected.

While the Gems continued going through and organizing their supplies for the drill, Ford and Stepper had taken to the far side of the barn so the author could get a chance to properly study the fusion with few distractions to stop them. And needless to say that Ford had already filled up several pages of notes on Stepper alone as the fusion eagerly and readily answered any and all questions the ever curious author asked him.

“So, you can control each of them simultaneously and individually then?” Ford asked, referring to Stepper’s extra set of arms.

“Yeah, pretty much,” the fusion said, holding both one of his upper and lower arms out to demonstrate. “I’m never really sure who’s controlling which arm exactly, and… sometimes they can be kinda awkward, like-” Stepper cut himself off as he accidentally bumped his lower arm against his upper one. “Like that. But they are nice for things like multitasking or carrying a whole lot of things at once, so I guess you could say they’re pretty handy. Ha! Handy!” he chuckled to himself as he waved his hands a bit. “Good one! Thanks!”

“Hm…” Ford mused, tapping his pen against the journal in his hands as he looked down at it. “You know, one thing I can’t help but wonder is whether or not the extensive fraction of you that’s solely organic inhibits any Gem abilities you may have had…”

“Uh… what do you mean?” Stepper frowned, confused.

“What I mean is that the fact that the two of you have fused is already incredible enough on its own,” the author explained. “But imagine how much more incredible it would be if you could shapeshift, or heal, or summon a weapon-”

“Oh! I can summon a weapon!” the fusion exclaimed excitedly before he reeled himself back in as he remembered exactly what that weapon was. “Uh, w-well, I mean… its… kind of a weapon, but not really. I-I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested in seeing it-”

“Actually, I’d be very interested!” Ford exclaimed, his pen already at the ready to document notes about it. “Fusion-specific weaponry has always been quite a point of fascination to me, after all.”

“Ah… right…” Stepper sighed though he was quick to perk up once more. “Ok then! Here goes nothing!” At this, the fusion closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, his four hands surrounding his Gem as it began to glow brightly. Stepper couldn’t help but smile warmly to himself as he glanced down to see the telltale orb of light emerge from the stone as he guided it upwards with his lower hands, watching with anticipation as it flashed and transformed into the shimmering pink book he was familiar with.

“Is… is that…?” Ford trailed off, amazed as he looked over the book as Stepper held it up.

“Its… a journal, yeah…” the fusion blushed in embarrassment. “I think its kind of based on your journals? I’m not really sure why that is but… yeah… sorry…”

“Oh, don’t be sorry, my boy,” Ford said with a wave of his hand. “Honestly, I find it to be quite flattering. Do you mind if I take a closer look at it?”

“Oh, sure, go ahead,” Stepper agreed, handing the journal off to the author to allow him to leaf through it. “So, um… for some reason, half of it is full of notes about Dipper while the other half is all about Steven. Again, I have no idea what the deal with that is, though I kinda like Mabel’s theory about the journal being 50% about each of them, which makes it 100% about me since I am them.”

“That’s certainly a novel theory,” Ford noted with a grin as he continued skimming through the book. “And by all accounts, this journal is a very special one indeed. Though… I fail to really see how it can be considered a genuine ‘weapon’…”

“Oh, well that’s ‘cause it can do this,” Stepper smiled as the author handed the journal back to him. The fusion opened it flat, and as a reaction to him, it began to hover slightly above his upturned lower hands. The book glowed with a pale pink light, Stepper’s Gem and unique birthmark doing the same as his smile widened ever so slightly. And then, in a swift, solid movement, the fusion summoned a glistening, projectile shield from the book’s center, quickly flattening it out before sending it flying far off into the distance until it disappeared from sight.

“Absolutely astounding…” Ford whispered, awestruck as he adjusted his glasses and turned back to the fusion with a wide grin. “Can it do anything else?”

“Uh… well…” Stepper trailed off, uncertain. However, the shield journal itself seemed to provide an answer to this question as another shield materialized over its pages, this one featuring clearly sharp, serrated edges. Intrigued, the fusion tossed it, watching with amazement as it soared through the air much like a buzz saw would. In its place, the journal replenished itself with several smaller, almost miniature shields, which Stepper sent off all at once, allowing them to fly through the air like tiny, yet deadly seeker missiles. Still, it seemed as though the journal wasn’t done showing off what it could do yet as it flashed brightly, garnishing Stepper’s attention as it flipped several pages back towards what was no doubt Dipper’s half of the journal. It stopped on a page depicting a detailed drawing of the Sword of Seasons, and when the curious fusion skimmed his hand against it, a pink, ethereal rendition of the blade itself rose from the pages, allowing Stepper to grab it and give it a wide, experimental swing. While it was bereft of its usual elemental powers, the sword was still physical and material so long as the fusion held onto it, and the moment he released his grip on it, it disappeared into thin air as though it had never existed at all.

“Wow…” Stepper gasped, stunned as the journal finally snapped closed and fell back into his hands. “I have no idea what just happened but… just… wow. I thought this thing was cool before but now its gotten even better somehow! I didn’t even know it could do half that stuff!”

“That was quite an impressive display!” Ford agreed, just as amazed. “I take back what I said before; that journal isn’t just special… it’s… its phenomenal! I’d love to be able to study it even further to learn all of its no-doubt incredibly intricate secrets!”

“Yeah, considering what we just saw, I’d kinda like to know what’s up with it too…” Stepper said, still rather bewildered as he held the book up at examined the star and constellation emblazoned together on its cover.

However, before either of them could begin investigating the matter further, they were suddenly interupted altogether as the fusion let out a startled gasp as he suddenly fell forward, his journal disappearing as he looked back to the sudden weight sitting on his back. “W-what the—Mabel!” he exclaimed as he attempted to shrug her off of him.

“Ha! Gotcha!” Mabel exclaimed teasingly. “That makes it Mabel – 1, Stepper – 0!”

“Who’s counting?” Stepper quipped with a smirk as he picked her up and sat her back down on the ground before standing himself.

“I am!” Mabel proclaimed proudly. “So what are you guys up to anyway? Still doin’ all that nerdy fusion research stuff?”

“Well, actually,” Ford began to eloquently explain. “We’re-”

“Oh man, Mabel, you just missed it!” Stepper cut in, stars of excitement in his eyes. “I just found out my shield journal can do all these amazing things like make these cute little tiny shields or even summon my sword, it was so cool!”

“Oh my gosh, I wanna see!” Mabel exclaimed, jumping up and down. “Can ya show me?”

“Uh… well, maybe in a little while…” Stepper admitted, his smile falling a bit. “We’re still sort of in the middle of the whole research thing and we’re on the verge of uncovering something huge, isn’t that right, Mr. Uncle Ford?”

“It absolutely is,” Ford nodded. “For all we know, Stepper, uncovering the secrets behind that ‘shield journal’ of yours could very well unlock untold secrets about the very nature of Gemkind and humankind themselves! Its an opportunity we simple cannot pass up!”

“Yeah, so ya see, its… pretty important,” the fusion said as he glanced down at Mabel, immediately noticing that her smile was all but completely gone by now. “B-but don’t worry! I promised you that we’d get the chance to hang out later, Mabel, and I meant it. Its just… gonna be a little later than I thought. You understand, right?”

Mabel didn’t respond right away, though when she did, it was with a relenting sigh as she realized she couldn’t very well bring the fusion down from his palpable excitement now. “Y-yeah…” she said, hiding her dejection well. “I understand…”

“Great!” Stepper replied, sending her four thumbs up as he began to hurry on after Ford once more. “See ya then!”

“Y-yeah…” Mabel forced a smile as she watched the fusion leave her behind yet again. “S-see ya…” As soon as Stepper had fully turned away, she was unable to hold back another sad sigh, wishing that they didn’t have to keep putting off their sought-after time together like this. In truth, she did understand exactly why the fusion wanted to spend this time with Ford; after all, the very reason why Steven and Dipper had fused in the first place was largely for the sake of assisting in the author’s research. But even still, Mabel couldn’t help but feel somewhat lost in the shuffle of it all, knowing that it was a rare event to get to see the fusion at all, much less in the newly found harmonious state he was now in. Even just a few minutes of free, boundless fun with him would be more than enough to suffice, but at this rate, it didn’t seem like Mabel would ever even get those moments as distracted and distanced as he seemed to be.

However, as she stood alone and upset as she was, Mabel largely failed to notice a certain green Gem approach her until she spoke up dryly. “What are you doing just standing here like this doing nothing?” Peridot asked, her hands on her hips as she raised an eyebrow at the girl.

“Oh! Peri!” Mabel exclaimed, startled out of her thoughts. “I was just… uh… waiting for Stepper… as usual…”

“Ugh, the Stepper,” the green Gem groaned with disdain, rolling her eyes. “What’s the big deal about him anyway? As far as I can see, he’s nothing more than a four-armed, impetuous, robinoids-destroying clod.”

“Aw, he’s not a clod, Peri!” Mabel chuckled slightly. “Stepper’s really great once ya get to know him! Heh, it’s probably cause he’s made up of two of the people I care about the most… even though I don’t really feel like he’s caring that much about me right now…”

“Well, why do you care if he cares about you at all?” Peridot asked, not following the concept.

“Well, its just… he promised me that we’d get the chance to hang out and have some good old fashioned fusion fun…” Mabel explained. “But he’s been so busy with Grunkle Ford that he just… keeps putting me off. He keeps saying he’ll have time for me ‘later’ but who knows when later is gonna be!”

“Hm… so you’re upset with that bothersome fusion too then?” Peridot asked somewhat leadingly.

“Well, I don’t know if I’d say I’m ‘upset’ with him, but-”

“Then, I have the perfect idea!” the green Gem interrupted with a vindictive smile. “Revenge!”

“Revenge?” Mabel asked, confused. “Revenge for what?”

“For him destroying my machines, of course!” Peridot snapped hotly. “Alone, there’s not much I can do against him and those projectile shields of his, but if I recruit you to my cause, then together can get even with that nuisance of a Stepper once and for all!”

“Uh… I don’t really wanna get even with him for anything…” Mabel noted with a frown. “I guess… all I really want is to get his attention somehow… Maybe if I could just get on his level or somethi—OH! That’s it!”

“What’s it?” Peridot asked.

“I just got the perfect idea!” Mabel exclaimed with a daring grin. “What’s the one, sure fire way to get the attention of a fusion like Stepper?”

“I don’t know and I don’t ca-”

“Fusion!” Mabel interupted brightly. “Which means… Peri, you and me are gonna fuse!”

For a moment, Peridot said nothing, instead opting to send the girl a look of complete and utter bafflement above all else. “We’re going to what?”

“No time to explain,” Mabel said quickly, grabbing the green Gem’s arm and pulling her after her so they could spring her newfound plan into motion. “We gotta find ourselves one of Grunkle Ford’s spare lab coats pronto. I have a feeling this is gonna work great!”

“Well, its certainly composed largely of Gem magic,” Ford concluded as him and Stepper stood over the shield journal as it rested on the small table before them inside the barn. “That much is obvious. But I’ve never seen a Gem weapon… ‘behave’ like this one does, so to speak.”

“Maybe its because I’m a fusion?” Stepper guessed. “Though even then, it is sorta weird that my weapon is a journal which… isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when you think about weapons…”

“It is rather peculiar…” Ford agreed thoughtfully. “Which is why I believe this warrants a full-on scientific investigation. Allow me to go fetch my camera. We’ll begin by taking several expository photographs for later use. Just you wait, Stepper; I have a feeling this research is going to wield some of our most integral and exciting research yet!”

“Sounds great!” Stepper called after the author enthusiastically. Once he was gone, the fusion let out a contented sigh as he placed a fond hand against the cover of his shield journal. There was no telling what sort of secrets its sparkling, mysterious pages might hold, and he was quite excited to uncover them all alongside the author himself.

“You know, I gotta say,” Stepper said to himself as one of his lower hands gently skimmed one of his upper ones. “This has seriously been one of the best days I’ve ever had. Yeah! I’m having a great time too! Makes me wonder why we haven’t done this sooner… I don’t know, but… I think I’d like to try doing it more often from here on out. Really?! Yeah, why not?” he chuckled as his upper arms embraced himself excitedly. “It feels… really nice.”

“Oh, Steeeeeper!” The fusion jolted in surprise at this call as he glanced over his shoulder, only to be met with a sight that baffled him instantly.

“Mabel?” Stepper frowned in confusion as he turned to face the oddly tall figure before him. Mabel had apparently commandeered one of Ford’s tan lab coats, draping it over herself and Peridot, who she was clearly sitting on the shoulders of if the obviously triangular shape under the folds of the coat was anything to go off of. The fusion watched curiously as the pair awkwardly shuffled over to them, clearly struggling to so much as balance at all, much less move coordinately at all.

“Wrong-o, Ste-bro!” Mabel quipped pointedly, grinning excitedly as she realized she was about on the same eye level as the fusion. “I’m not Mabel, I’m… Mabeldot! Or Peribel. I haven’t decided which one I like more yet.”

“Uh… ok?” Stepper raised an eyebrow. “So… what are you guys doing exactly?”

“Isn’t it totally obvious?” Mabel asked with a wide grin. “We fused! Just like you guys did! Isn’t that right, Peri?”

“Ouch!” Peridot shouted underneath the lab coat. “Will you just sit still up there already?!”

“Um… I hate to break it to you guys, but… you guys didn’t fuse,” Stepper pointed out with a frown.

“Whaaaaaat?” Mabel asked in faux appalled shock. “Of course we did! Would we be as tall as you if we hadn’t?”

“Mabel, that’s only because you’re sitting on Peridot’s shoulders,” the fusion noted. “Wait, don’t tell me you’re actually upset about the whole thing about me being taller than you know, ‘cause if you are, then that was just a joke-”

“No! That’s not what I’m upset about!” Mabel huffed, forgetting her fusion façade.

“Uh… then what’s… this whole thing about?” Stepper asked, motioning to the false “fusion” before him.

“It isn’t about anything!” Mabel snapped, frustrated. “M-maybe I just wanted to fuse with my new best friend Peridot because having only one Gem and human fusion around here wasn’t enough.”

“Uh, ok, but just one problem with that,” Stepper crossed his lower arms. “You and Peridot can’t even fuse in the first place.”

“See!” Peridot spoke up as she suddenly shrugged Mabel off her shoulders, prompting them both to fall to the ground with a resounding thud. “I told you! This so-called ‘plan’ of yours was complete and utter foolish waste of time! We wouldn’t have fooled anyone! Now, if you’ll need me, I’ll be plotting out an actual revenge scheme instead of some ridiculous, implausible masquerade!” And with this, Peridot stormed off, Ford’s lab coat still hanging onto her as she made no attempts to shrug it off as she took her heated retreated, leaving Stepper and Mabel alone.

“Mabel, come on,” Stepper said evenly, his expression sincere, concerned even. “I can tell something’s up with you. What’s really going on here?”

“I already told you, nothing’s going on!” Mabel retorted crossly. “I’m fine, everything’s fine, especially you! You’re just off, having a great time together and with Grunkle Ford doing your ‘super important fusion research’, and I get it, ok?”

“Get what?” Stepper asked, still not following.

“That you’re so busy that you don’t have any time to hang out with me!” Mabel exclaimed pointedly. “Even though you promised that you would, but I guess you guys would rather spend your time doing way more important things than having fun with me!”

At first, Stepper had no idea what to really say in response to such an intense, emotional outburst, though he quickly made a move to correct it the moment he noticed tears starting to well up in Mabel’s eyes. “Aw, Mabel…” he began gently as he knelt down to her level. “You know I didn’t mean to blow you off. I really do wanna hang out with you, its just…”

“Its just I gotta wait till you’re done with Grunkle Ford, huh?” Mabel finished, her hands on her hips.

“Um, yeah? That’s pretty much it,” Stepper said, standing. “I won’t be that much longer. You can wait a few hours, can’t you?”

“That’s not the point!” Mabel refuted, stomping her foot down. “The point is that you guys are finally stable together! You’re finally fun, or at least I thought you were until you decided you wanted to bury your head in all that boring research again!”

“W-well, why do you have such a problem with that?” Stepper asked somewhat defensively. “We’re just trying to find answers to questions that deserve to be answered! We could learn so much about fusion, and Gems and-”

“Ugh, who cares?!” Mabel interupted impatiently. “You guys could always just study all that stuff when you’re not fused! Why do you gotta waste your time with it now when you are fused?”

“Well, why does it matter to you so much that we hang out with you while we’re fused in the first place?” Stepper argued back, growing readily more annoyed. “You spend time with Steven and Dipper every day, so why are things so different when I’m around? I am them, for crying out loud!”

“It matters because you’re-” Mabel sharply cut herself off with a frustrated sob, not wanting to give the fusion any sort of high ground in this fight.

“I’m what, Mabel?” Stepper asked a bit harsher than he had meant to as the girl quickly turned around to wipe her tears. While half of the fusion did feel rather guilty about being the cause of those tears in the first place, the other half was far too incensed with what he believed to be justified frustration to let her win this fight. “I think I get it now,” he said, his tone cold as he pulled himself to his full height. “You’re just being selfish.”

Mabel was unable to let back a sharp, bitter laugh upon hearing this as she turned back around to face the fusion. “Yeah, ok, I’m being selfish,” she remarked with a rare sense of biting sarcasm. “Says the fusion who broke his promise and doesn’t seem to even care!”

“I didn’t break my promise!” Stepper snapped fiercely. “You just too impatient to wait for me to finish with Great Mr. Ford! Face it, Mabel, you’re are being selfish, just like you always are!”

A heavy, shocked gasp escaped Mabel at this, her offense to such a burning remark immediately clear. Stepper himself took in a suddenly anxious breath as soon as he said it, knowing that he had crossed a line and wanting to take it back, though at the same time, he forced himself to let it be, still refusing to back down now. “I’m not selfish,” Mabel finally spoke up as she glared up at the fusion squarely.

“Yes, you are,” Stepper countered with a bit of a tired sigh.

“No, I’m not!” Mabel argued, this time much more intently.

“Yes, you are!” the fusion exclaimed. He knew this entire argument was somewhat futile, but even so, a large part of him was far too angry and far too stubborn to simply let it go.

“No, I’m not!”

“Yes, you are!”

“No, I’m NOT!”

“Yes, you—STOP!” Surprisingly enough, Stepper cut himself off, his lower hands clenched in tight fists as he continued almost desperately. “Stop fighting! Please, I don’t wanna-” The fusion interupted himself again, this time with a sudden gasp as his Gem and birthmark flashed brightly. “B-but… but we shouldn’t…” he trailed off, closing his eyes tightly as he placed a hand against his head. “We shouldn’t say things like that, she’s your sister—yeah, she is and she’s wrong! But being angry like this isn’t gonna—I don’t care! She needs to realize she can’t always have her way! B-but we—Ugh, forget it! I’ll handle this!” The fusion finally managed to steady himself as he took in a deep breath, meeting Mabel’s somewhat startled gaze with a stern, serious glare. “Mabel, I’m sorry, but… we didn’t fuse just so we could hang out with you. And… if you’re going to be so jealous and clingy and selfish then… then maybe I just won’t hang out with you at all!”

Mabel let out another harsh gasp at this, recoiling back a bit as if Stepper’s words had physically hurt her. And for as much pain as they brought her, they might as well have. “O-oh yeah?” she asked challengingly, aggressively fighting against her pressing tears as she returned the fusion’s glare relentlessly. “Well… m-maybe I don’t wanna hang out with you either if you’re gonna be so boring and stubborn!”

“Fine!” Stepper snapped, swiftly spinning around to face away from her, his upper arms crossed tightly.

“Fine!” Mabel repeated just as angrily as she did the same.

And for the next several minutes, that was it. Neither of them said another single word to each other, their argument ending on a sour, stated stalemate. However, as seconds passed on into minutes, Stepper couldn’t help but glance over his shoulder back at Mabel, even if half of him clearly didn’t want to. All the same, his expression softened quite a bit as he noticed her shoulders hitching ever so slightly in what was clearly a mournful sob. With a small sigh, he turned to face her once again, his expression rather neutral as a result of the disagreement between both of both of his halves over the matter. A part of him was clearly angry with her, there was no question about that, seeing her behavior and lashing out as nothing more than immature and foolish. He believed that the best way to handle such an attitude was to simply let her stew in her frustration with him, knowing that she’d get over it eventually and maybe even learn a lesson in patience and acceptance in the process. And yet… while his other half did understand those sentiments, and even did agree with them to some extent, he still couldn’t help but feel rather guilty all the same. True, Mabel’s outburst against him had been harsh and demanding and even possessive to a point, but the only reason she was so upset in the first place was because of his failure to keep his promise to her. He had gotten distracted, and in his distraction he kept putting her off until later, always saying that they’d have time to spend together, but never actually following through. He couldn’t really say that if he was in her shoes, he wouldn’t feel at least a little left out and forgotten as she likely was.

And maybe… that’s exactly what the problem here was in the first place. Though Mabel hadn’t said so in those exact words, the more sympathetic half of Stepper was quickly starting to suspect that was what this conflict was actually about. With Dipper and Steven as fused as they were, it stood to reason that Mabel might have felt as though she was being left out on all of the fun they were having together, and in turn, those feelings of loneliness soon turned into those of bitterness. It all made sense, but even so, it was a problem that he really had no idea how to fix. What they needed was a way for all three of them to work this out without devolving into another hostile shouting match. A way for them to work out their differences on common ground. A way for them all to see things eye to eye.

Or better yet… a way for them to see things through the same eyes.

Stepper moved carefully and intentfully, keeping all thoughts of his newfound plan out of his mind, lest his other half pick up on them and stop him altogether amidst his own frustration. Still, he could feel that half’s palpable confusion as he stepped forward towards Mabel, who couldn’t help but glance over her shoulder at him in equal bewilderment, especially as she noticed one of his lower hands was extended out to her in offering. The fusion’s expression was mingled with both that same almost disgruntled confusion as well as what almost appeared to be a sense of sad sincerity as he nodded at her, silently asking her to take his hand. And, even despite her own currently mixed feelings about the fusion at the moment, Mabel did so, curious to see exactly what he was planning on doing.

However, the last thing she could have ever expected was for Stepper to do was grasp her other hand before pulling her into a slow, first initial spin, one that soon turned into what was clearly an impromptu dance. The fusion himself seemed ever bit as surprised as she was as he met her bewildered gaze evenly, yet even so, they continued on in easy, almost waltz-like twirls gradually leading them out of the barn and into the yard. Neither of them said anything as they tried to piece together exactly what was going on, which was something only one half of the fusion knew while leaving both his other half and the girl completely in the blind. In truth, he had no idea if this would actually work or not, but for the sake of restoring the peace and bonds between them all, it was at least worth a shot.

Unable to hold her immense curiosity in any longer, Mabel was about to speak up to finally ask Stepper why they were apparently dancing in the first place. However, before she could get a chance, she was suddenly blindsided by the bright burst of light from the fusion’s gemstone, one that seemed to flood and fill in over both of them. And, in that brief moment, both of them, or rather, all three of them finally realized exactly what was happening.

Their eyes opened swiftly, all three of them wide and easily depicting their shared shock. Their breath caught in a sharp gasp, their uneven trio of hands trembling as they caught sight of them, as well as the rest of their newly amalgamated form. Even so, they were clearly struggling to take it all in as one single thought ran through their now shared mind: against all odds and all impossibilities, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel were all fused together at the exact same time, resulting in neither Stepper nor Maven even, but in someone entirely different altogether.

“W-wha…” the new fusion whispered, their voice just about completely neutral when it came to gender. They slowly shook their head, still completely baffled as they noticed that their only extra arm rested underneath their left one, while their only additional eye rested evenly above their right. They weren’t able to make much else about their appearance, aside from their attire which was clearly a mix of that of all three of their components. And yet, that hardly mattered to the fusion as much as the fact that they even managed to exist at all, especially as they managed to realize that only a third of them had hoped for this to happen in the first place. “W-what… what did you do?!” they asked, their voice suddenly rising in both fear and fury. “I-I’m sorry! I just thought-”

The fusion gasped again, their shoulders jolting as they suddenly became aware of the several sets of eyes watching them from afar. Despite their new, rather-tall legs, they quickly spun around, only to find Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Ford, and even Peridot all standing near the barn, all of them staring at the new fusion, completely dumbfounded.

The fusion’s breathing began to pick up under the sudden scrutiny, a wave of unbridled anxiety washing over them. All three of their components felt it rush through them almost painfully, but it was clear it hit one of them much harder than the others. They let out a startled cry as their form flashed briefly, turning amorphous and unclear as one of their components began to fall out of the fusion entirely. Dipper didn’t even have time to let out a fearful gasp as, before he could even fully split apart from the fusion, a hand suddenly grasped his tightly. He glanced back up to find Maven, still somehow left over from their fusion and still clinging onto him, their expression morose and pleading, almost as if they were silently begging him to not let go just yet. And, despite the countless emotions running through him at that moment and the stunned audience that they had just a few feet away, he found that was a plea that for some reason, he couldn’t refuse.

Light silhouetted the kids once again as their three-way fusion reformed, still clearly in a state of shock as they glanced down at themselves briefly, before looking to everyone watching them again. To say that they were overwhelmed would be an understatement, and with so many thoughts and so many feelings pouring through their shared mind at once, the one thing they did know was that this was something they had to figure out on their own. Which was why, before anyone could so much as say a single word to them, the fusion turned on their heel and bolted, running off towards the distant fields and hills of open farmland before them, not bothering to look back even once.

“W-wait!” Ford called after them as soon as he shook himself out of his shock, more than curious to learn about something as incredible as the fusion he had just seen. However, before he could attempt to run after them, Garnet stopped him, shaking her head calmly.

“Let them be,” the Gem leader said, watching as the fusion disappeared off into the distance. “After all, this is between the three of them and no one else.”

In their ongoing state of emotional frenzy, the fusion had no idea how long they had been running or even where they were really going. The late afternoon landscapes sped by them as they maintained a steady pace, tears welling up in all three of their eyes the entire time though none of them ever fell. When they finally did come to a stop, it was out of exhaustion more than anything else as they gradually came to a breathless halt against a tall, wide tree standing alone out in the midst of the otherwise empty fields. Their trio of hands were still shaking as they took the time to stare down at them in disbelief, their own existence bewildering them more than anything else at that moment possibly could.

They had fused. By all accounts, something like this should have been impossible, and up until now, each of their components would have readily believed that it was impossible. True, three or more Gems could fuse at a time, but the fact that Steven could fuse with more than one human at a time was something no one had ever anticipated or thought of before. But sure enough, it had happened, and despite how baffled the fusion was by how they had come to be, all too soon their thoughts began to turn to why they had come to be.

“W-we… you… I… I don’t understand,” they began, their voice soft and diffident as they conversed to themselves. “Neither do I… You… you just… pulled all three of us together like this and… and now we’re…” They took in a deep breath, all three of their eyes closing as they tried their best to compose themselves amidst their countless mixed emotions. “Why? What’s the point? Why would you—b-because I thought this would help!”

They stopped briefly, sighing almost sadly as they leaned back against the side of the tree and rubbed their spare arm gently. “I… I thought… you were both so upset with each other… I could see it, heck, I could even feel it… I just thought that… maybe if you could get inside each other’s heads for just for a second, t-then… then it might help you—help us what?” They cut themselves off sharply, a sudden burst of familiar, bitter anger running through them. “See just how wrong she is? What?! I’m not wrong! You’re the one who’s wrong! I am not!” They stamped their foot down harshly. “Everything was going just fine until you came along being all impatient and jealous! Guys, wait, we shouldn’t—I wasn’t jealous! I just wanted to have some fun with you guys, which is something you clearly weren’t interested in. We were having fun! But every time I have fun, you always have to have a problem with it! Come on, you guys, we have to try to get alo—I never said I have a problem with that! Then what is your problem, huh?! M-maybe… No, come on, don’t say it, you don’t mean—maybe my problem’s with you!”

The fusion let out a loud, appalled scoff at this, one that quickly turned into an exasperated groan as their least angry third realized exactly where this was going, as hard as they were trying to diffuse it. “S-seriously, we shouldn’t fight, especially when we’re like this!” they urged desperately. “I don’t see why we shouldn’t! After all, I’d love to know more about this so-called ‘problem’ you have with me! N-no, we don’t—Oh, you wanna hear more?” They asked themselves challengingly, set to deliver this bitingly honest opinion in a unique, yet heavy-handed way they wouldn’t soon forget. “Fine! I’ll be more than happy to tell you!”

The fusion took a bold step forward, two of their arms crossed and their other hand clenched into a tight fist as their other two components finally realized that they were all about to burst into song, whether they wanted to or not. “My problem with you,” they began, their melody upbeat yet carrying a certain catty, unapologetic swing to it. “Who me?” they interupted themselves, confused. “No, you,” they clarified, eliciting a sarcastic eye-roll from only one of their eyes. “Is that you always have to be better. Says who?!” they asked with another doubtful scoff. “You do! And if you asked me twice, well wouldn’t it be nice, if you were just WRONG for once! Ohhhh…”

Incensed by these accusations, the fusion turned their nose up, initially wanting no parts of such a petty argument before they ultimately decided not to simply let these callous claims hang as they were. And so, ignoring how flustered they already were, they decided to play themselves at their own game and offer their side of the story in the exact same musical way. “Well, MY problem with YOU—wait, me? Yeah, you!—is that you always have to always have to be selfish—not true!” they protested before part of them finally spoke up rather timidly to these claims, only to be drowned out once again. “But you—You always get your way, but no, not today, until you did anyway! Ahhh…

They sighed, partially to let a bit of their frustration out and partially out of sadness as they continued walking, almost dancing forward. After all, they had hoped that their newfound, unique existence as a fusion would bring them together; but ultimately, it was only pulling them apart even more than before. “You guys, the problem with us,” they began rather solemnly, only to angrily interrupt themselves once again. “No, him! There’s no us! I-is that we have to try to—stop complaining! Don’t fuss!”

The fusion cringed in spite of themselves, realizing that even though their voice was steady and strong, they still seemed so out of harmony, in more ways than one. “How can we get along? It’ll take more than a song—just admit that you’re wrong!” they snapped bitingly, pressing a hand against their head as they tried to make sense of all of the conflicting emotions and opinions running through it. “Wrong,” they stomped forward once again, their eyes shut tightly as their tone grew progressively more intense. “Wrong, wrong, wrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongWRONG—”

The fusion ultimately cut themselves off with a sudden gasp of surprise as they tripped, their foot catching on a rock as they fell forward into a small stream running through the field that they hadn’t even noticed as caught up in their song as they had been. They quickly sat up, shaking themselves off and letting out a disgruntled sigh as they still dripped with quite a bit of water. Their song was all but forgotten as they began, trying to dry themselves off, more than ready to get back into their bout of heated arguing. Until…

They paused, froze practically as they happened to glance down at the crystal clear waters of the stream before them. Or rather, at their own reflection staring back at them from within it. Until now, the fusion hadn’t put much thought into what they might have looked like, as caught up in their own internal conflict as they had been. But now, all thoughts of that seemed to fade away as their own appearance practically captivated them. They were tall, much taller than even Stepper or Maven were, and indeed, they had an extra arm on the left and an extra eye above the right, yet somehow, neither appendage looked out of place or unsightly. In a way, they almost seemed to balance each other out, contributing to the unique, completely new being they now were together. Their hair was a medium length and shade of brown, loose, and free and recklessly curly as it spilled out from the unmistakable pine tree hat atop their head. The rest of their attire was clearly a testament to who they were made of as well, from Steven and Mabel’s shirt and sweater respectively combined into a bright pink top underneath Dipper’s usual vest. Likewise, their pair of loose jean capris rested underneath a purple skirt, their shoes mismatched yet comfortable all the same. In fact, despite how seemingly mismatched and at ends they seemed to be in general, their appearance somehow still made sense. Their fusion made sense, oddities, imperfections and all.

And perhaps… that fact spoke to more than just their fusion too.

Throughout the entire summer so far, one thing had always seemed to be a constant; no matter what danger or threat or trial they faced, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel faced them all together. Through thick and thin, Dipper and Mabel were stalwart siblings; they always had been and they always would be, no matter what, and in the midst of that close sibling bond stood Steven, an endlessly loyal and ever-supportive friend to them both. Regardless of minor spats and petty arguments, the three of them belonged together; the fact that they had even been able to fuse at all was proof of that. And perhaps, they all realized at the exact same moment, it was time to stop letting themselves, of all people, get in the way of the bond of family and friendship they all cherished so very much.

“T-the problem with us…” they began their song again, this time softer and gentler as they kept their sights on their own reflection. “No wait… not ‘us’… Is that I’m not just one or the other…” Slowly, they stood, still looking down towards the stream first, before their gaze gradually drifted to their trio of hands stretched out before them. “I’m not one or two… but something just brand new, so what do I do? Oooo….”

“Maybe…” they trailed off with a sigh, a bit of shame filling them as they thought about just how foolish their conflict had been in the first place, and just how much it could have damaged between them as a result. Which meant that regardless of what was said in the past, it was finally time to put an end to it once and for all.

“It wasn’t me…” they admitted, wrapping all three of their arms around each other in a bit of a lose hug as they slowly passed by the creek. “It wasn’t you… You know, they say it takes two…” They finally cracked a small smile at this joke, though it didn’t last long as remorse entered their melody, though hints of forgiveness and empathy were mingled in there just as much. “I couldn’t see… I wanted to be… part of this too…”

Their pace picked up just the slightest bit as they looked ahead towards the horizon, the sun just starting to sink over it and casting everything in a deep, rich glow of twilight. It was a rejuvenating glow, one that filled the fusion with hope and warmth as they smiled once more, finally, finally ready to declare exactly who—and what—they were. “But now that we’re three,” they began, their smile gradually widening as they walk soon started to turn into a job before evolving into an energized run. “Both us and we,” A small, bright laugh escaped them, one filled with building joy and ecstasy that they knew they would soon be absolutely powerless to contain. “And that makes you… ME!”

At this, the fusion acted on sheer impulse, leaping into the air in the blazing light of the setting sun. For a brief, breathless, blissful moment, they felt almost weightless until gravity began to pull them back down, yet surprisingly enough, it wasn’t enough to ground them completely. For instead of their feet hitting the grass below, they seemed to hover above it ever so slightly, floating gently above the earth as they started down at it in amazed disbelief. And yet, for as elated and excited as they were, they decided not to question it, instead opting to make the most out of such a bizarre yet brilliant opportunity for all it was worth.

“And there’s NO problem with me!” they sang, their melody triumphant as they hovered forward with grace and agility. “Cause as far as I can see, we’re singing in perfect harmony!” The fusion preformed a deft spin at this, more or less practically ice skating on thin air and loving every single second it, knowing that this was what they should have been doing from the moment they first fused. “A sister—a brother—friends caring for each other, like its supposed to be!” Once again, they pulled themselves into a fond, tight embrace as they leaned back a bit, still keeping their mid-air momentum going all the while. “Like it was meant to be!” they proclaimed, proud of who they were and what their fusion represented and glad for this experience, despite its less than ideal beginnings. After all, it had indeed done its part in not only bringing peace between them all, but bringing them all together, in a way that got them closer than they had ever thought possible. Which was why, with a warm smile on their face and a contented song in their heart, they gradually began to glide their way back towards the barn, ready to face anything so long as they faced it together. “Like it will always be…”

An air of confusion had hung over the barn ever since the fusion’s unexpected formation and subsequent flight. Ford, Pearl, Amethyst, and even Peridot each had their own respective abundance of questions, to which Garnet simply assured them to wait for eventual answers to them upon the fusion’s return. Still, as minutes turned into hours with no sign of the fusion or any of the kids who composed them in sight, worry was starting to fill the air, mingling with that same confusion as the sun soon began to set.

“I hope the kids are alright…” Pearl frowned, staring off into the distance the fusion had disappeared into. “Its getting awfully late for them to be out there alone…”

“They’re not alone,” Garnet reminded, casually leaning against the side of the barn. “They have each other.”

“Heh, yeah, cause they fused,” Amethyst interjected with a grin. “Which is totally nuts when you think about it. Like its already crazy that Steven can fuse with Dipper and Mabel each on their own, but all three of them mashin’ it up? This is like… a whole new level of awesome!”

“It certainly is an absolutely phenomenal discovery,” Ford commented as he enthusiastically continued taking what notes he could of the new fusion down in his journal. “Just think of the implications here! A human-Gem hybrid, not only fusing with one organic human but two at the same exact time! I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes! I have so much to ask them when they return, like what the balance between the three of them sharing the same headspace is like, what possible weapons and abilities they might have at their disposal, what they might possibly refer to themselves as-”

“Dipevebel.”

Everyone jolted in surprise as they all turned to see none other than the fusion themselves, strolling over to meet them from around the corner of the barn. Their expression was relaxed and bright as they smiled at the stunned group, barely even seeming to take notice in just how shocked they all were at their sudden, unexpected return.

“W-what?” Ford spoke up, his eyes wide as he looked the fusion up and down.

“Well, I dunno how to really answer those first two questions,” they began, two of their hands in their pockets while their spare rested casually behind their head. “But I do have an idea for what I’d like to be called and that’s it: Dipevebel. I know its not exactly the easiest name to roll off the tongue, but its kinda the best you can expect when you have to combine Dipper, Steven, and Mabel together, like I do. Still… I think it fits. Don’t you guys agree?”

While Ford, Pearl, and Amethyst were still much to baffled to really even say anything, Garnet stepped forward, demonstrating that even she was a bit shorter than the newly-named Dipevebel. “I do,” the Gem leader nodded with a clearly proud grin as she extended out a hand for the fusion to shake. “Its nice to finally meet you, Dipevebel.”

“Heh, honestly, it was nice for me to meet myself,” Dipevebel chuckled warmly. “Wait… that doesn’t make any sense. Or maybe it does in some deep poetic sort of way? …Eh, forget it. Guess what I’m trying to say is… its good to be here! Even if I… sorta ran away at first—ok, you know what, I should probably just stop rambling.”

“Oh, I like this one!” Amethyst laughed, amused. “They’re like all of Maven’s fun and all of Stepper’s funny awkwardness wrapped up into one rad, three-eyed, three-armed package!”

“Huh… a fusion of Maven and Stepper…” Dipevebel mused. “You know, I haven’t thought of us like that before, but in a way, I guess that’s exactly what I am. Neat!”

“Well, you three certainly are impressive together,” Pearl said with a good-natured grin. “And I’m not just saying that because your mere existence is an incredible feat in and of itself—wait! T-that’s not what I-”

“Nah, its ok, Pearl,” Dipevebel laughed, setting the white Gem’s belief that she had offended them at ease. “Even I gotta admit that it is kind of crazy that I can even be here at all, but just for the record, I’m really glad that I am.”

“And we’re glad that you are too,” Garnet nodded supportively.

“Indeed we are!” Ford chimed in with renewed enthusiasm, his pen ready to take down as many notes as he could about this incredible new fusion. “Now, you kids wouldn’t mind if I asked you one, or two, or several questions about your physiology and abilities as a fusion, would you?”

“Ah, w-well…” Dipevebel trailed off, glancing down with a bit of an awkward smile. “I’d love to, but if its all the same to you Mr. Grunkle Ford, we’d—or, I’d… kind of like to have a bit of time just to ourselves, if that’s ok.”

The author took pause at this, surprised, and though disappointment briefly flashed across his expression, he ultimately smiled in acceptance, knowing that there’d certainly be time to investigate this miraculous, newly-formed fusion again some other day. “O-of course it is,” he nodded humbly as him and the Gems stepped out of the fusion’s way. Dipevebel offered them all another cordial grin as they left, only to be stopped by a certain green Gem as she happened to venture out of the barn at that exact moment.

“Hey!” Peridot snapped as she accitentally ran right into the much-taller fusion. “What’s the big ide—oh, great…” she groaned, glaring up at Dipevebel, unimpressed. “Its all three of you clods, fused and formed into one giant clod, just what we need around here…”

Instead of taking offense at the green Gems disparaging remarks, the fusion simply smiled in amusement at them, playfully patting Peridot on the head as they stepped passed her. “Its nice to see you too, Peridot,” they said, bidding her off with a friendly wave before heading off on their own.

“Ugh, fusion…” the green Gem groaned in disgust as she stood alongside the others and watched Dipevebel head past the edge of the barn. “What’s it even good for anyway?”

“More than you could ever know,” Garnet replied, her pride in the trio still apparent as she glanced slightly upwards, to the roof of the barn where their fusion took up their perch. “They’re proof enough of that.”

The summer sunset was peaceful and warm, accented by a light, easy breeze and early crickets chirping in the early evening. Dipevebel sat alone and silent on top of the barn, taking it all in and not needing any words to convey just how harmonious and happy they felt at that moment.

They had been told before that fusion represented relationships, bonds formed between Gems (or in their case, between humans and Gems), brought to life in entirely new, but familiar beings. Dipevebel themselves had already realized that, in a way, they represented not just one relationship, but several: the dedicated, devoted sibling bond between Dipper and Mabel, the unlikely, but undeniably close connection between Steven and Dipper, the warm, playful friendship between Mabel and Steven. All of these things were what created Dipevebel, what tied them together and kept them close. The fusion themselves cherished those connections and the feelings they brought them deeply, knowing that for as long as they or any of the individual parts that composed them existed, they’d never let any of them go.

As the sun finally disappeared beyond the distant hills and the sky settled into the cool shade of night, Dipevebel finally slowly came undone on their own accord. The act of unfusing was smooth and mutual, but even as they came apart, they were still together, enveloping each other in a loose yet fond three-way hug. None of them said anything as they kept up their contented smiles and upheld this comforting embrace, wanting to hold onto it and the simple happiness it brought them for as long as possible, and even after that.

Next: 

[stoneevans]

3 Marketing Lessons I Learned the Hard Way (You Can Make a Fortune with These)!

New Post has been published on https://www.home-business.com/3-marketing-lessons-i-learned-the-hard-way-you-can-make-a-fortune-with-these/

3 Marketing Lessons I Learned the Hard Way (You Can Make a Fortune with These)!

You can take an awful lot of those “how to market online” courses and sometimes still not learn the truly groundbreaking stuff.

I’m talking about the seemingly unimportant things that turn out to be so important, it’s like a scene in one of those adventure movies:

The hero fights through obstacle after obstacle to get to this secret cave that hasn’t been entered in a century.

He pries open the heavy door, sweeps away several inches of cobwebs, and by the light of his torch he sees something shiny. He picks it up… it’s a gold coin! Nice, but not that earth-shattering, right? It’s just one coin…

Taking a step forward, he sees a small chest. Opening it, he sees a couple hundred gold coins. Yeah! This is pretty cool.

But then he catches just a glimmer of something deeper in the cave. Opening the door wider to let light in, he sees more gold. And priceless statues. And gemstones. And… the treasures go back as far as the eye can see.

Holy cow. That one gold coin turned out to be the beginning of more wealth than the GDP of most countries.

Well that’s how I feel about what I’m going to teach you here. To the uninitiated eye, these three lessons might seem small, like a single coin.

And they might almost appear trivial. But I promise you, if you follow this advice, your online income can become almost limitless.

And by the way, some people have paid literally thousands of dollars to discover what I’m about to show you:

Marketing Lesson #1: Make an irresistible offer

You’ve heard the term irresistible offer before, but what does it mean?

First, it’s an offer that’s better than anything your competition has.

Second, it’s so good that’s it’s truly hard to pass up.

For example, if I were to sell you a brand new car for $1,000, that’s an irresistible offer.

Most marketers have trouble getting their marketing to covert because they’re offering the same stuff as everyone else. Yes, they try to make it sexy, but it isn’t.

You can dress a pig up in a lovely, low-cut evening gown, or even a tiny bikini and high heels. But it’s still a pig.

(Not trying to pick on pigs here, btw – I think they’re kinda cute and definitely smart.)

You can have weak marketing and a great offer and make it work.

But great marketing will never compensate for a weak offer.

If you don’t have the right offer, then it doesn’t matter how great the copy is, what the headline is, who is promoting it and so forth.

If you want to make sales, you’ve got to have an absolutely superior, irresistible offer that the prospect simply cannot turn down.

And you’ve got to back the offer up with a product that delivers, too. I’ve seen offers that blew me away, but once I got into the product, I realized it was 80% hype and 20% substance.

As you might have guessed, I asked for a refund – as did close to 50% of their purchasers.

So make them an offer they cannot refuse, and then deliver on every promise you make.

Do this and you cannot help but make a fortune.

Marketing Lesson #2: You’ve got to have a big marketing idea.

Just having a bigger promise or using a hyped headline isn’t going to work anymore.

If you’re going to be seen and heard by your prospects, you’ve got to cut right through all the shouting online and present something brand new.

Think of it this way: A regular marketing idea is doing what’s already been done, except maybe it’s 10% bigger or 10% better.

That used to work, but these days it just blends with everything else.

But a big marketing idea is something new, something revolutionary. It could be an entirely new approach, a new way of looking at something or a new way of doing something.

Take cars for example. A regular marketing idea is to make a car 10% more gas efficient, or 10% sleeker/bigger/smaller/curvier/boxier etc.

If you think about it, most of the cars today just sort of blend. They look a lot alike, work a lot alike… it’s always been like that.

Then there’s Tesla. Put a Tesla side by side with any other car, and you’ll notice a difference. Talk about how a Tesla runs, and it’s revolutionary.

Don’t let your idea be the latest model of Ford or Chevy.

Make it a Tesla.

Give your prospects a feeling of discovery, of something completely new that gives them an AHA! Moment.

Offer them hope that this is finally THE solution they have been searching for.

It’s powerful, indeed.

Marketing Lesson #3: Customer acquisition is simply about good math.

I know you keep hearing about free traffic. But free traffic isn’t free; it costs you time and work. And more time. And more work.

If you want to make serious money, then you’ve got to learn some math and be willing to invest some money to make that money.

Online marketing in the six and seven figure range is all about buying new customers – not hoping they eventually find you on their own.

Buying new customers is how you grow big and fast.

Think of customer acquisition as an investment.

You’re investing in the acquisition of assets — customers.

And to do this wisely… like the best marketers in the world… you need to know some numbers.

For example, one of the absolute most valuable marketing numbers for you to understand and use is the Maximum Allowable Acquisition Cost (MAAC).

MAAC tells you the most you can pay to get a new customer.

And to know your MAAC, you also need to know the lifetime value of your customer. Which in the beginning is hard, so do this instead – know the 3 month value of your customers.

How much do they spend with you in 3 months? Whatever that number is, you need to spend less than that to get a new customer.

Most entrepreneurs and marketers don’t know their MAAC or their customer’s lifetime value.

Of if they do know the numbers, they don’t use them to determine their traffic generation budgets.

But if you want to earn six or seven figures a year, you’ve got to know and USE this stuff.

Once you know these numbers, you’ve got to focus on increasing the value of your customer, so you can increase your MAAC, so you can get more customers.

Very few average entrepreneurs and marketers understand this, but now you do.

So, did I just hand you three gold coins?

Or a vast and unending treasure trove?

That’s up to you and what you do with this information.

[sobeardtastemaker-blog]

3 Marketing Lessons I Learned the Hard Way (You Can Make a Fortune with These)!

New Post has been published on http://www.elimarketing.org/3-marketing-lessons-i-learned-the-hard-way-you-can-make-a-fortune-with-these/

3 Marketing Lessons I Learned the Hard Way (You Can Make a Fortune with These)!

You can take an awful lot of those “how to market online” courses and sometimes still not learn the truly groundbreaking stuff.

I’m talking about the seemingly unimportant things that turn out to be so important, it’s like a scene in one of those adventure movies:

The hero fights through obstacle after obstacle to get to this secret cave that hasn’t been entered in a century.

He pries open the heavy door, sweeps away several inches of cobwebs, and by the light of his torch he sees something shiny. He picks it up… it’s a gold coin! Nice, but not that earth-shattering, right? It’s just one coin…

Taking a step forward, he sees a small chest. Opening it, he sees a couple hundred gold coins. Yeah! This is pretty cool.

But then he catches just a glimmer of something deeper in the cave. Opening the door wider to let light in, he sees more gold. And priceless statues. And gemstones. And… the treasures go back as far as the eye can see.

Holy cow. That one gold coin turned out to be the beginning of more wealth than the GDP of most countries.

Well that’s how I feel about what I’m going to teach you here. To the uninitiated eye, these three lessons might seem small, like a single coin.

And they might almost appear trivial. But I promise you, if you follow this advice, your online income can become almost limitless.

And by the way, some people have paid literally thousands of dollars to discover what I’m about to show you:

Marketing Lesson #1: Make an irresistible offer

You’ve heard the term irresistible offer before, but what does it mean?

First, it’s an offer that’s better than anything your competition has.

Second, it’s so good that’s it’s truly hard to pass up.

For example, if I were to sell you a brand new car for $1,000, that’s an irresistible offer.

Most marketers have trouble getting their marketing to covert because they’re offering the same stuff as everyone else. Yes, they try to make it sexy, but it isn’t.

You can dress a pig up in a lovely, low-cut evening gown, or even a tiny bikini and high heels. But it’s still a pig.

(Not trying to pick on pigs here, btw – I think they’re kinda cute and definitely smart.)

You can have weak marketing and a great offer and make it work.

But great marketing will never compensate for a weak offer.

If you don’t have the right offer, then it doesn’t matter how great the copy is, what the headline is, who is promoting it and so forth.

If you want to make sales, you’ve got to have an absolutely superior, irresistible offer that the prospect simply cannot turn down.

And you’ve got to back the offer up with a product that delivers, too. I’ve seen offers that blew me away, but once I got into the product, I realized it was 80% hype and 20% substance.

As you might have guessed, I asked for a refund – as did close to 50% of their purchasers.

So make them an offer they cannot refuse, and then deliver on every promise you make.

Do this and you cannot help but make a fortune.

Marketing Lesson #2: You’ve got to have a big marketing idea.

Just having a bigger promise or using a hyped headline isn’t going to work anymore.

If you’re going to be seen and heard by your prospects, you’ve got to cut right through all the shouting online and present something brand new.

Think of it this way: A regular marketing idea is doing what’s already been done, except maybe it’s 10% bigger or 10% better.

That used to work, but these days it just blends with everything else.

But a big marketing idea is something new, something revolutionary. It could be an entirely new approach, a new way of looking at something or a new way of doing something.

Take cars for example. A regular marketing idea is to make a car 10% more gas efficient, or 10% sleeker/bigger/smaller/curvier/boxier etc.

If you think about it, most of the cars today just sort of blend. They look a lot alike, work a lot alike… it’s always been like that.

Then there’s Tesla. Put a Tesla side by side with any other car, and you’ll notice a difference. Talk about how a Tesla runs, and it’s revolutionary.

Don’t let your idea be the latest model of Ford or Chevy.

Make it a Tesla.

Give your prospects a feeling of discovery, of something completely new that gives them an AHA! Moment.

Offer them hope that this is finally THE solution they have been searching for.

It’s powerful, indeed.

Marketing Lesson #3: Customer acquisition is simply about good math.

I know you keep hearing about free traffic. But free traffic isn’t free; it costs you time and work. And more time. And more work.

If you want to make serious money, then you’ve got to learn some math and be willing to invest some money to make that money.

Online marketing in the six and seven figure range is all about buying new customers – not hoping they eventually find you on their own.

Buying new customers is how you grow big and fast.

Think of customer acquisition as an investment.

You’re investing in the acquisition of assets — customers.

And to do this wisely… like the best marketers in the world… you need to know some numbers.

For example, one of the absolute most valuable marketing numbers for you to understand and use is the Maximum Allowable Acquisition Cost (MAAC).

MAAC tells you the most you can pay to get a new customer.

And to know your MAAC, you also need to know the lifetime value of your customer. Which in the beginning is hard, so do this instead – know the 3 month value of your customers.

How much do they spend with you in 3 months? Whatever that number is, you need to spend less than that to get a new customer.

Most entrepreneurs and marketers don’t know their MAAC or their customer’s lifetime value.

Of if they do know the numbers, they don’t use them to determine their traffic generation budgets.

But if you want to earn six or seven figures a year, you’ve got to know and USE this stuff.

Once you know these numbers, you’ve got to focus on increasing the value of your customer, so you can increase your MAAC, so you can get more customers.

Very few average entrepreneurs and marketers understand this, but now you do.

So, did I just hand you three gold coins?

Or a vast and unending treasure trove?

That’s up to you and what you do with this information.